Formerly known as "Peyton's Rules," the NFL announced a new standard regarding quarterback safety, "Brady Rules."

In a related move, the Denver Broncos were flagged for roughing the passer and fined $10,000 when it was discovered that defensive coordinator Mike Nolan was preparing a game-plan designed to "get to Brady."

"We can't have teams willfully attempting to hit Tom Brady," said a league source who spoke on the condition of anonymity. "That sort of conduct is . . .uh, detrimental to our league."

Broncos defensive end/linebacker Elvis Dumervil was also warned by the league for saying, "We hope to knock Brady down. Even if we don't get the sack, we want to be in his face." The NFL announced later that as a result of Dumervil's "reckless and dangerous" comments, Broncos pass rushers must play every second series with their shoes tied together.

"Look, Dumervil's comments, coupled with Nolan's blatant disregard for Brady's safety led us to take what some might call drastic measures," said an unidentified member of the NFL rules committee. " But we simply have no choice. I mean, he isn't Brett Favre, or John Elway. This is Tom Brady we're talking about. He's far to fragile, and dare I say, pretty, to have teams wantonly trying to get in his face."

Earlier in the day, before the rules were made public, Baltimore Ravens defensive end, Trevor Pryce was suspended indefinitely for saying, "I hope we get a shot at them in the playoffs." A league spokesman responded, "Clearly, Trevor's comment was a direct attack at Tom Brady. It's that kind of disregard for Tom's feelings that we're trying to discourage." As a result of Pryce's "aggressive, violent and nearly felonious" comment, should the Ravens and Patriots meet in the post-season, the Patriots will start the game with possession at Baltimore's one-yard-line, and Ravens pass rushers must line-up at least four yards deep in the end-zone.

"It's all designed to make the game more fair. And by fair, I mean, of course, easier for Tom Brady," said an unnamed source from the league office.

Perhaps the most restrictive of the new guidelines can be found in B.R. 12.1(a):

"Any quarterback wearing number 12 for the New England Patriots with the lettering B-R-A-D-Y across the back, shall not be pushed, punched, touched, tackled or made to feel uncomfortable in any way. Penalty for such infraction is automatic first down and immediate ejection of the offending player, his position coach, head coach and any family members from the premises."

A spokesman from the commissioner's office said, "We hope that fans see these rules for what they are. These really aren't new at all. We've always instructed our officials to call the games pretty much the same way. It's just in writing now."

Tom Brady could not be reached for comment. In fact, shortly after I called Patriots headquarters, this writer was flagged for roughing the passer and a restraining order was issued, instructing me to stay at least 100 feet from Tom Brady. Should be easy. Defenders have been playing under the same rules for years.

Bill Prather would like to state in no uncertain terms that everything you just read is simply a product of his imagination. All quotes are fabricated. Like so many of those "roughing the passer" calls you see where Brady is concerned. There are no "official" Brady rules. You decide if they exist unofficially.

Go Broncos! But be careful, fellas. You might get flagged just for being on the same field as Tom Brady.