The other evening I was greatly disappointed when I sat down to watch my favorite TV show, When Smurfs Attack, only to find that it was a highlight episode. You know, when the writers cannot come up with anything new and exciting, so they just take the good parts from previous shows and splice them together to make a highlight episode. I think that it is important to always challenge yourself to be creative and never resort to referencing previous work just to fill space. A highlight episode is a dirty trick that leaves you feeling cheated and violated.

For example, my blog titled Gangstas, Googling yourself & the Head Gorilla, in the wine review portion I write, "This wine reminds me of my first girlfriend -- pale in color, a touch of sweetness, crisp, full of alcohol and brings a smile to your face when it goes down."

Pure, original, genius.

Furthermore, in Poe and an attempt on my life,I received high praise from readers for:

"I flung the curtains open to face my doom
and swoosh, a shadow flew past my ear and into the dining room.
My hand found the light switch and there he was on the wall,
a killer Miller moth six feet tall."

Once again, pure and original.

More proof? In The Simpsons, a flesh wound, and Easter ham, my introduction says it all when I write, "I'll admit it, I'm a tough guy. Proof? You want proof? I've reached the summit of Mount Everest, slept with Lorena Bobbitt, and I like to tape $100 bills to my naked body and sprint through Five Points at midnight."

In A glass for your heart, a bottle for your back,where I documented the trials and tribulations of installing tile flooring, I note, "At some point I stopped using spacers and now my grout lines are about as straight as Rosie O'Donnell's comedy act at a women-only nightclub"

And in A guy's foolproof Valentine's day plan,my advice is clear and straight to the point as shown here: "You have got to accept that V-day is all about her. To avoid the two-pump-chump syndrome, I highly recommend consuming 10-15 beers before you pick her up, skip dinner and go straight for the romantic portion of the evening."

Furthermore, who would have known that my predictions would have come true in To build or not to build a wine cellar when I state, "Mark my words, I guarantee that these three things will occur in 2007; One, on August 13, 2007 the Rockies will have a record of 61 wins and 56 losses. Two, Yourhub.com will fund the construction of my private wine cellar. Three, Hillary Clinton will secretly make a trip to Trinidad, where she will have a sex change to increase her chances of becoming the 44th president."

Feel cheated and violated yet?