I hate the word love,
for reasons I'll describe below and above.
I think love is too often used,
attached to kittens, New York, and many types of food.

People love this and they love that,
women especially love jeans that don't make their arse look fat.
Men are just as bad, take a guy like me,
I love nothing more than watching sports on my HD-TV.

The worst month for love is here,
February 14 is love's worst day of the year.
Guys are forced to buy cards, flowers, and chocolate sweets,
the whole time hoping to get some action between the sheets.

I feel sorry for single people on Valentine's Day,
some have struck out so much they think about turning gay.
Others go for bars and chat rooms wishing their love they will find,
for some, their best chance is with a person who's blind.

Add to the list these things where love will not last,
houses, money, and cars that are fast.
Sports teams, movie stars, and TV shows you should include,
but not pizza, wine, or pictures of chicks that are nude.

Love should be saved and only used when the time is right,
like remembering your wife in her wedding dress white.
Or for family, friends, and pets that make your life whole
pretty much anything in your world that God gave a soul.

This Valentine's Day I'd stay home and make a romantic dinner,
add a 2004 bottle of Incognito because it's a sure winner.
This red blend rolls nicely across your tongue,
if your significant other disagrees, out the door they should be flung.

I'll use love when talking about my son,
he makes my life hell and so much fun.
While working at Hooters, she won the title Best Belcher,
yeah, you guess it, my other love is the wife ... the Dream Squelcher.