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Parenting
Blog Entry 299 of 329
Father Knows... Something. Let's figure out what.
This is my outlet to share with the world all the things I've learned - and continue to learn - about being the Father to 3 young children. But I should warn you that my experience is probably NOT yours: my wife and I are in the process of adopting a sibling set of 3 - all 6 years old and younger - while in our 40's. We've heard that, "it keeps you young," but so far, it has mostly kept us tired... But like any parent, our kids teach us something new every day and I hope to share at least something here with you at that same pace. The entries will be short - time constraints will probably keep it at or around a mere 200 words - but as they say, brevity is the soul of wit. Let's hope I can create some brevity here. So if you read something you like, please leave a comment. If you read something you don't, please just leave. (Just kidding - I'd love to hear from critics as well.)
Blog Url:
http://denver.yourhub.com/~Fatherknows
Entries:
1/1/2007 'Hi there! I'm crazy - who a...'
1/2/2007 'Fathers: Buy batteries!'
1/3/2007 'Daddy's evolving vocabulary...'
1/4/2007 'The Eternal Struggle'
1/5/2007 'But - where's 99?'
1/6/2007 'Song For a Snowed-In Saturd...'
1/7/2007 'Fathers! Your new motto is...'
1/8/2007 'Parents - can't handle chan...'
1/9/2007 'The wonders of technology p...'
1/10/2007 'Just the facts,* man ...'
1/11/2007 'Meet your new best friend...'
1/12/2007 'Food Fight!'
1/14/2007 'Tonight's Surprise'
1/14/2007 'What to do about the crying...'
1/15/2007 'What to wear around young c...'
1/16/2007 'What to watch'
1/17/2007 'What not to tell the wife...'
1/18/2007 'Beware of unintended conseq...'
1/19/2007 'Just so I'm clear'
1/20/2007 'The strange obligation'
1/21/2007 'All too many meanings aroun...'
1/22/2007 'What did I just say?'
1/23/2007 'Life in The Store....'
1/24/2007 'A Different Take On A Day Off'
1/25/2007 'On the management of mixed ...'
1/26/2007 'Excuse Me - Do You Have The...'
1/27/2007 'Don't Forget Your Resources!'
1/28/2007 'Young kids? Don't discount ...'
1/29/2007 'Want to create a stink? Dis...'
1/30/2007 'Of changing definitions...'
1/31/2007 'On Raising Tough Children'
2/1/2007 '(S)pace Yourself...'
2/3/2007 'Over My Dead Body'
2/4/2007 'The (Latest) Big Change...'
2/5/2007 'The Boys Have It'
2/6/2007 'How Much Are Air Mattresses...'
2/7/2007 'Life's Soundtrack'
2/8/2007 'Logic Need Not Apply'
2/9/2007 'The Pain of Consistency'
2/10/2007 'A father's toughest job'
2/11/2007 'Call me the father of inven...'
2/12/2007 'Well, duh!'
2/13/2007 'Son Of Food Fight'
2/14/2007 'My Funny Valentine'
2/16/2007 'Code Red! Code Red!'
2/16/2007 'A Surprise Gift'
2/17/2007 'An Unusual Request'
2/19/2007 'The changing dynamic'
2/20/2007 'What our children hear'
2/21/2007 'Aquatots'
2/22/2007 'Just another rite of passage?'
2/23/2007 'Who fires a warning shot th...'
2/24/2007 'Red dot, green dot'
2/25/2007 'Inside A Child's Mind...'
2/26/2007 'Just one thousand? You sure?'
2/27/2007 'A hair-raising tale'
2/28/2007 'The Trouble You Want'
3/1/2007 'The Discipline of Parenting...'
3/2/2007 'The Discipline Of Parenting...'
3/4/2007 'Never JUST A Daddy'
3/6/2007 'What's up Doc?'
3/7/2007 'Spring forward'
3/8/2007 'I Suspect It Was Grandma'
3/9/2007 'Childhood Revisited'
3/10/2007 'Health and (Un)fitness'
3/11/2007 'It's not like we're starvin...'
3/12/2007 'Again and again and again'
3/14/2007 'A helpful hint'
3/15/2007 'A Moving Tale...'
3/16/2007 'What will they learn?'
3/17/2007 'In-house negotiations'
3/18/2007 'Even more than I bargained for'
3/19/2007 'On the nature of humor'
3/20/2007 'The story is the complex...'
3/22/2007 'House must accommodate go-k...'
3/23/2007 'Careful of what you wish for'
3/24/2007 'It's the known unkowns that...'
3/25/2007 'It'll Do For Today'
3/27/2007 'One of the harder lessons'
3/27/2007 'I'm writing this at 11:58 p...'
3/28/2007 'Bringing Constructive Criti...'
3/30/2007 'It's all in the waiting'
3/31/2007 'Poker faces? Not around here'
4/1/2007 'Hey - It sounds better than...'
4/2/2007 'About this evening'
4/3/2007 'All three rings, please'
4/4/2007 'The sense that matters'
4/5/2007 'I'm Sure It's A Common Belief'
4/7/2007 'Too darned obvious'
4/7/2007 'Happy Easter'
4/8/2007 'Now that that's over . . .'
4/9/2007 'To spank or not to spank'
4/10/2007 'An important follow-up on c...'
4/11/2007 'Of all fhe firsts'
4/12/2007 'The truth is a sticky thing'
4/13/2007 'And now: A public service a...'
4/14/2007 'Language lessons'
4/15/2007 'A glance into kid kulture'
4/16/2007 'Just another day'
4/17/2007 'It's Not Just M-O-M-M-Y'
4/21/2007 'The sharp-dressed binky'
4/22/2007 'The written word'
4/23/2007 'On this business of babysit...'
4/26/2007 'Sometimes It's Worth Lookin...'
4/27/2007 'It's Always 3 Rings Around ...'
4/28/2007 'History is knowledge - but ...'
4/29/2007 'The potential of sunscreen'
4/30/2007 'When kids start negotiating...'
5/1/2007 'Painful, New Exercises'
5/2/2007 'Wrong is right -- maybe'
5/4/2007 'I have an easement, so I'm ...'
5/6/2007 'It's All In The Point Of View'
5/9/2007 'The Joy Of Cousins'
5/10/2007 'Rushing the season...'
5/11/2007 'There are firsts, and then ...'
5/13/2007 'In Honor Of The Day And The...'
5/14/2007 'Catching Them Before They H...'
5/15/2007 '...And unicorn donuts'
5/16/2007 'Their Many Firsts'
5/18/2007 'A real market opening'
5/19/2007 'Why should "pop" and "cultu...'
5/20/2007 'If you're looking for run-o...'
5/21/2007 'I sure hope I haven't viola...'
5/22/2007 'Bath antics'
5/23/2007 'Speaking in tongues - or fi...'
5/25/2007 'What DID the doctor order, ...'
5/26/2007 'I already knew, but it's ni...'
5/27/2007 'Where pasta is a way of life'
5/29/2007 'Extending the light'
5/29/2007 'A tale of two brothers'
5/30/2007 'If I have to explain, it's ...'
6/1/2007 ''Tis the season'
6/2/2007 'An early Father's Day tribu...'
6/4/2007 'More than mere semantics'
6/7/2007 'Same planet, different worlds'
6/8/2007 'How Target is making me move'
6/9/2007 'Gotta love those teachable ...'
6/10/2007 'I didn't write the word 'sc...'
6/11/2007 'On the continuing theme of ...'
6/12/2007 'Naming your children'
6/14/2007 'It's dipstick time'
6/15/2007 'Progress reports'
6/16/2007 'A momentous weekend'
6/18/2007 'On the day it means something'
6/18/2007 'Words of warning'
6/20/2007 'A clever - and necessary - ...'
6/22/2007 'Taming the wild animals'
6/23/2007 'A top secret mission'
6/24/2007 'A new twist'
6/25/2007 'Here's to a nice, boring ro...'
6/26/2007 'Like father, like son(s)'
6/27/2007 'A different evening'
6/28/2007 'The state of the mornings'
6/29/2007 'Parenting - a scary job'
6/30/2007 'Who knew?'
7/1/2007 'Discovering ancient history'
7/2/2007 'The only "i" we know 'round...'
7/4/2007 'Building a better...'
7/5/2007 'The 5th of July - time for ...'
7/7/2007 'Who's the boss? (Wasn't it ...'
7/7/2007 'The lyrics of your youth re...'
7/8/2007 'A tough one to learn'
7/9/2007 'Time for a procedure'
7/10/2007 'High chair bargaining results'
7/11/2007 'My son the comedian, part t...'
7/12/2007 'You'd scream, too'
7/14/2007 'How I cure fatigue'
7/16/2007 'Parenting-it's always somet...'
7/17/2007 'Identifying the crisis at hand'
7/18/2007 'Starting a dialog'
7/19/2007 'Would you like three kids?'
7/20/2007 'What to do with a quiet house?'
7/23/2007 'Not just another family meal'
7/24/2007 'The march of technology som...'
7/26/2007 'Hold fast the memories'
7/27/2007 'Now we'll learn if Karen ha...'
7/29/2007 'Reserved seating'
7/30/2007 'Cramming for finals'
7/31/2007 'Market prices'
8/1/2007 'Binky tricks'
8/3/2007 'Beware Binkys bearing gifts'
8/4/2007 'It gives you fever -- appar...'
8/5/2007 'Too much concrete around here'
8/7/2007 'They're all boy'
8/7/2007 'The busiest 5 year old - EVER!'
8/8/2007 'A brief primer on husband/f...'
8/9/2007 'We're a tough audience - th...'
8/11/2007 'The wisdom of our foremothers'
8/12/2007 'Everyone's fine - thankfully'
8/13/2007 'They're terrible alright'
8/14/2007 'It's likely a phase - and I...'
8/15/2007 'An illuminative day'
8/16/2007 'New talents, new frustrations'
8/17/2007 'Unrealistic expectations'
8/18/2007 'Happy anniversary!'
8/19/2007 'Don't come between a mother...'
8/20/2007 'Parents hear it all the tim...'
8/22/2007 'It was a bit disorienting, ...'
8/23/2007 'One misconception I'm happy...'
8/25/2007 'What?!? No ceremonial shovel?'
8/26/2007 'The many "joys" of separati...'
8/27/2007 'Continuing problems. Continued'
8/28/2007 'The blessings of a good memory'
8/29/2007 'The graceful dance'
8/31/2007 'Something unknown this way ...'
9/2/2007 'One bittersweet evening'
9/4/2007 'Spoiler, thy name is Grandma'
9/4/2007 'The importance of planning ...'
9/5/2007 'Three degrees of change'
9/7/2007 'A "moving" tale'
9/8/2007 'I LOVE daddy/daughter day, ...'
9/11/2007 'The latest double edged sword'
9/14/2007 'The running of the bugs'
9/15/2007 'Childproofing: science or art?'
9/16/2007 'A new twist on an old tale'
9/17/2007 'One sick little boy'
9/19/2007 'In the blink of an eye'
9/19/2007 'More vocabulary worries'
9/20/2007 'Keep looking up, (an homage...'
9/25/2007 'A triumphant(?) return'
9/25/2007 'Dipping a toe In the water'
9/26/2007 'How much loss can a person ...'
9/27/2007 'An uneasy peace - maybe'
10/1/2007 'Training to be a parent, an...'
10/3/2007 'Choosing the right reward'
10/4/2007 'Oh sweet mercy - what have ...'
10/6/2007 'An unexpected visit'
10/11/2007 'If you're like me, you won'...'
10/11/2007 'Are we all completely check...'
10/15/2007 'The most forbidden word'
10/17/2007 'On changing alliances'
10/19/2007 'Another day, another crisis...'
10/21/2007 'A new experiment'
10/24/2007 'Of new milestones and new p...'
10/25/2007 'An open letter to my daughter'
10/28/2007 'My first run-in with my (fu...'
10/29/2007 'Not even I saw this coming...'
10/31/2007 ''Tis the season'
11/1/2007 'Two unofficial endorsements'
11/3/2007 'What am I - new here or som...'
11/5/2007 'They grow up so quickly'
11/7/2007 'Oh please - not just yet'
11/13/2007 'The language of my life'
11/13/2007 'The cutest thing I've heard...'
11/13/2007 'An interesting question'
11/16/2007 'The difference between the ...'
11/22/2007 'Payback is a...'
11/22/2007 'With a heart full of gratitude'
11/24/2007 'kid-isms...'
11/26/2007 'Kitten tales'
11/27/2007 'The cutting edge'
11/29/2007 'Mommy has no idea...'
12/1/2007 'A moving testimonial'
12/4/2007 'Who the heck cares about Ch...'
12/5/2007 'Exploring my job descriptio...'
12/6/2007 'Feeling the pressure'
12/8/2007 'Learning from/of our kids'
12/11/2007 'Riding off into the sunset'
12/12/2007 'Familial history'
12/13/2007 'The Christmas play, 2007'
12/16/2007 'Catch the fever'
12/17/2007 'An open letter to my boys'
12/18/2007 'Going dark...'
12/21/2007 'Too unreal to be real'
12/22/2007 'Turning trials into triumph'
12/24/2007 'Have yourself a sorry littl...'
12/27/2007 'Eating the cookies'
12/29/2007 'Remembering our definitions'
1/1/2008 'So long, and thanks for all...'
1/3/2008 'Hi there, I'm new here. Kin...'
1/6/2008 'Moving miseries'
1/7/2008 'The little challenges'
1/8/2008 'May you get what you wish for'
1/10/2008 'Who are you to me, lady?'
1/12/2008 'Moving? Here's some free ad...'
1/13/2008 'My kid's got it down cold'
1/15/2008 'Fighting the last war, most...'
1/16/2008 'They're always coming into ...'
1/17/2008 'Li'l help?'
1/19/2008 'Thenk you. Thenk you very m...'
1/23/2008 'A busy, tiring, week and it...'
1/24/2008 'So far, so good'
1/26/2008 'It's the little fights'
1/28/2008 'Comes the inevitable'
1/30/2008 'The things I worry about, now'
2/3/2008 'Daddy's pooped out'
2/4/2008 'How they relate'
2/6/2008 'Downsizing'
2/10/2008 'An unmet expectation'
2/13/2008 'My boys are finally talking'
2/18/2008 'The two cutest kid moments,...'
2/21/2008 'Cutting through the skin'
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2/26/2008 'Differing standards of care'
3/1/2008 'Thanks and all, but ...'
3/5/2008 'Good guys, bad guys and Daddy'
3/6/2008 'The holiday that keeps on g...'
3/12/2008 'Two 'love' stories'
3/16/2008 'The burning question'
3/17/2008 'MY girl's math'
3/21/2008 'Living with a copier'
3/25/2008 'The short vacation'
3/26/2008 'Putting my daughter first'
3/30/2008 'Putting the kid on the payroll'
3/31/2008 'A bit of family history'
4/2/2008 'On the horns of a dilemma'
4/7/2008 'MORT! MORT! MORT!'
4/9/2008 'Who's training whom?'
4/10/2008 'It's, like, too difficult a...'
4/13/2008 'Some simple and - IMHO - im...'
4/23/2008 'Just catching up ...'
4/26/2008 'The art of the 'skunk eye''
5/6/2008 'Back at it - hopefully'
5/7/2008 'All part of their plan, I'm...'
5/8/2008 'The cuteness continues'
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5/26/2008 'General update - nothing more'
5/28/2008 'What if I gave them all ham...'
6/10/2008 'How times have changed - an...'
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6/22/2008 'On family relations...'
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6/28/2008 'Get used to it, kid'
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The burning question
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Contributed by:
Chris Stone
on 3/16/2008
Like any parent
, I've been besieged by questions about my kids from day one (which in our case wasn't their birth, but that hasn't changed the circumstance). Heck, I face a couple dozen kid questions before lunchtime on the average day: What am I doing wrong? What am I doing right? Why is The Binkster standing over the cat with a sharpened pencil in his hand?
OK - so some questions have easier answers than others; answers like, "Stop That!!" come quickly while the others might need some consideration. But I think I've spent the most time lately on the very largest of all Parent Questions:
How strange do I want my children to be?
If you remember anything about childhood, it's that everyone gets teased sooner or later; we all got a turn at the wheel. Something about everyone stands out at one time or another and catches the radar of some other kid. It's the way of things; every kid gets teased about something somewhere along the way.
As for me, it was my weight; when asked how fat I was, I would answer that I had my own congressman (or would have - had I thought of it then). As for my children?
Well,
"M"
is thin and likely to be - unlike
Mommy
- underdeveloped in a certain way that hits the radar of high school boys (no matter - she'll be smarter than them in ways that really matter, and as her father I'll appreciate the lack of attention).
The Bink'
s bowed legs are likely to single him out for ridicule and scorn, no matter how much faster he is than those who criticize him.
As for
D-Man
, well, what can I say? The Child From Space seems doomed to mock and criticism for any number of reasons: mainly because he needs to be re-acquainted with the proper function of a fork at every meal. Ah, well - it's always something ...
Which brings me to my point, (
finally!
): How much weirdness do I want to instill in my children? I mean, knowing that they're going into the world to be made fun of anyway makes me want to tone it down and normalize their lives.
On the other hand, I was never one to rely on "normal" for salvation. It's a big job and it requires a big person. One "above the fray," as it were. So I've been teaching them to be weird ...
Saying "pantaloons" instead of "pants." "Ein minuten bitte!" for "give me a minute." That sort of thing. But we've moved on from Olde English and German phrases into something a bit more obscure. Mainly, comedy routines from some lesser-known (in America) artists.
My boys are now saying, "Bloody pilot fish!" as a form of exclamation/frustration. It's from a routine/bit/concert by
Eddie Izzard
. He might not be everyone's cup of tea ( I say that because he's British), but if you enjoy British cross-dressers who are very funny but drop the F-bomb every 3 minutes or so, check him out. And like every comic, he provides some insight into Life As We Know It, and it's a welcome relief, frankly.
Still, "Bloody pilot fish" is something that we seem very able to rally around ...
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Showing 1-2 of 2 comments
Submitted By: Chris Stone
posted on 3/16/2008 @ 9:44:06 PM
(Not Rated)
"So, you've done it -- with a lady..." Classic. Thanks much.
[Report as objectionable]
Submitted By: Michael Rule
posted on 3/16/2008 @ 8:05:27 AM
Rated Blog Entry
My son and I have a time worn routine down, also derived from British comedy...."Aye, aye, nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more." As for "Bloody Pilot Fish"....I like it.
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Chris Stone
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Chris Stone has posted
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