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Blog Entry 307 of 330 Father Knows... Something. Let's figure out what.

This is my outlet to share with the world all the things I've learned - and continue to learn - about being the Father to 3 young children. But I should warn you that my experience is probably NOT yours: my wife and I are in the process of adopting a sibling set of 3 - all 6 years old and younger - while in our 40's. We've heard that, "it keeps you young," but so far, it has mostly kept us tired... But like any parent, our kids teach us something new every day and I hope to share at least something here with you at that same pace. The entries will be short - time constraints will probably keep it at or around a mere 200 words - but as they say, brevity is the soul of wit. Let's hope I can create some brevity here. So if you read something you like, please leave a comment. If you read something you don't, please just leave. (Just kidding - I'd love to hear from critics as well.)

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~Fatherknows

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MORT! MORT! MORT!

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Contributed by: Chris Stone on 4/7/2008

I'm a technology geek (I think many - if not all of you - have already figured that out). In fact, there are days when I become so immersed in the stuff that I find myself thinking that I must have secretly been appointed some kind of "prince" of technology - due to the requirements of my family and my job.

So it should come as no surprise that I quickly became enamored of Microsoft's "Vista" operating system, unless you also knew of my ever-growing disdain for Microsoft products, that is ...

What I like most - and least in certain ways - are the parental controls the operating platform offers. It allows me to control computer usage based on time constraints, to allow or disallow access to games and websites and various programs - and then logs ALL computer usage for those accounts to a file that can only be read by the administrator.

Care to guess who that is in our home?

But here's the "bad part" of proper security versus the "good part" of proper security: I can't allow the kids to navigate their own way to the various "Manah Manah" videos on YouTube (as far as I know so far), without allowing them complete access to the entire library. Which would be a disaster.

So it takes an involved father to spend a few non-blog-related nor work-related minutes in front of a computer screen with a kid on each leg in order to sort through the millions of videos available in order to find a clip from his own youth
that might amuse his children in the21st century.

I found it, they LOVE it, (they sing it in the back of Mommy's car), and ask for it regularly. But guess what else we found ...?

Does anyone out there remember the "Swedish Chef" from the same source? Well, my kids know him nearly as well as I do now: His main schtick - aside from a terrible abuse of the English language - was his venerable ability to toss aside his own cooking tools, but only after singing, "MORT! MORT! MORT!" at the end of his intro.

Yes, him ...

I've taken it upon myself to bring the process full-circle (so to speak), and have begun "singing" the theme - being careful to end with a full and forceful "triple MORT" - just before heaving one of our boys over my body and onto our bed. They can't resist jumping their way back to me.

And why should I care? Because my father did? Because they'll break the mattress after they do it 2.7 million times? The way I see it, they're softening the bed in much the same way I do when I grab the meat hammer and go after a chicken breast.

Which seems perfectly OK with me, frankly ...

Chris Stone is a slightly different - hopefullybetter- father than he was yesterday.

< Previous: 'On the horns of a dilemma' | Next: 'Who's training whom?' >

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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Chris Stone

Arvada , CO

Chris Stone has posted 330 blog entries and 142 comments since joining on 7/6/2006. Chris Stone 's average blog rating is 5.

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