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Blog Entry 78 of 82 Baseball,football,the Grateful Dead,Jesus and me
Could be politics, religion, music, sports, family life or anything in-between and outside the lines. (I refuse to say "outside the box," even if my chosen line means exactly the same thing) Chronologically, I'm 40. The consensus among those who know me best puts me somewhere between 10 and 13 in terms of maturity. I love listening to Jimmy Buffett, the Grateful Dead, the Allman Brothers and all acts Country (except the Dixie Chicks who offended my long-held,closed-minded view of decent behavior) I have deep, strong beliefs in all things I believe in and sometimes in things I don't. I pride myself in my contradictory nature even though it is a sign of weakness to change one's mind. I have been known to waver more than John Kerry talking about national defense, though I remain steadfast in my beliefs. I am prepared to argue to the death on one issue and one issue alone; Dickey Betts should be allowed back in the Allman Brothers. On this, there is no compromise. I believe in compromise in all other areas so long as the compromise includes everything that I want or believe in. In all seriousness, I am a lucky man, blessed with a wonderful family and an uncanny ability to not care about anything if the situation requires such. I believe that minds are like parachutes in that they have been known to fail their user, albeit with a slightly lower fatality rate. So that's me, or at least that's kind of me. I mean, I felt that way right before I didn't.

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~billsblog

She's no lady; she's my wife

Contributed by: Bill Prather   on 6/30/2008

Ever listen to Lyle Lovett?

Check him out if you haven't. Put up the bucks to see him live. You won't regret it. He wrote a song (I'm still thinking that it was about Julia -- but what do I know?) that every married man can probably identify with:

I can't remember how I met her.
Seems like she's always
just been hangin' here, off my right arm.

And I can't remember how I ever
thought that I just couldn't live
without a woman's charm . . .

Boy, howdy! Lyle got it right, eh?

She loves to lie beside me,
almost every night.

Well, she's no lady,
She's my wife.

I certainly don't mean any disrespect to my beloved Jenny but she's the first who would punch you for even suggesting that she might be a "lady." Trust me. To this day, it's a race to open the door for her.

"What the Hell are you doing? You almost knocked me over! Move!"

Me: "Huh?"

"What do you mean, I have to walk on the inside? What kind of crap is that?"

Me: "Wha. . .huh?"

If I had a nickel for every time I've been stranded with a chair - - -while my lovely wife sits down across the table . . .

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Me: "Ummmmmm...."

She's no lady, she's my wife.

I thank God every day that she is.

She's no lady, she's my wife. Damn right!

When I first met her, Jenny had a hard time adjusting to not opening the door. Whether it be her car door or the entrance to the mall, she just wasn't used to someone opening it for her.

In truth, I was a bit disappointed. Surely Jenny had been on many dates. How could it be that she wasn't in tune with how a "lady" should be treated?

Well she's no lady . . . she's my . . . wife!
All I know is I'm the one who pays her price.
Man, she's no lady, she's my wife!

Perhaps it's the age difference. I am seven years older than my bride. Can it really be? Is it true that men today don't know how to treat a "lady?" I think not. My oldest son, Brooks, opens the door for his girl. He carries the groceries in for Jenny. My son knows that he should always take the outside when walking on a sidedwalk with his girl.

He knows because I taught him. My father taught me. My mother told me why. Legend has it that back in the day, folks routinely tossed water out of the windows of second-floor apartments. They tossed it hard, to get it to the gutter. However, it didn't always make it. Therefore, the gentlemen of the era walked on the outside . . .that they may be hit by the water and the fair lady spared.

I don't know if that's true. I like it anyway. I know that today some women are offended when a man opens a door for them. For shame, ladies, for shame.

Men open doors for ladies out of respect. We do it because we owe you. Does anyone believe that a man could ever give birth? Good Lord! We open doors and carry heavy stuff because it's our way of making things up to you!

If men had babies, mankind would have ended with the first pregnancy. Think about it:

"So . . . you're carrying that for nine months?"

Yep.

"Just so I understand . . . nine months. Like forty weeks or something?"

Yep.

"And you can't have a drink?"

Right.

"So at the end of this, you push that huge thing through that tiny thing?"

Yep.

"And you still can't have a drink?"

Right.

Mankind ends.

She's no lady, she's my wife.

I love you, baby. More than you will ever know.

Ladies, let a guy open a door for you. When we pull out a chair, sit in it. Even if it doesn't matter to you, it matters to us. It matters to a real man.

Boys, never sit until your girl has. Pull out a chair for her. Help her into her coat. Don't be afraid to carry her purse. For God's Sake . . . HOLD THE DOOR FOR HER! Chivalry is not dead. It's simply getting lost.

Men today . . . well, they don't exist.

They don't open doors for ladies anymore. They don't offer to carry the heavy stuff anymore. Why?

My father taught me better. I'm trying to teach my boys. It's an uphill battle --- but

I'm taking that hill!

Yep . . .

She's no lady,
She's my wife.

She deserves my undying love and respect. And it sure doesn't hurt to pull out a chair for her once in a while.

Even if she sits in a different one.

Yes, She's no lady,
she's my wife.

Thank God.

I bet He would pull out a chair for her.

I sure do love her. Don't you?

She's no lady,

SHE'S YOUR WIFE . . .

Tell her, brother, tell her . . .


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Showing 1-2 of 2 comments
Submitted By: William Boucher
posted on 8/17/2008 @ 8:08:05 PM
Rated Blog Entry
You're one of the good ones.
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Submitted By: Gladys Mercier
posted on 6/30/2008 @ 6:26:02 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Lucky Jenny. My son now opens doors, carries stuff and really takes care of me.Guess Bob taught him right.
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Showing 1-2 of 2 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Bill Prather

Arvada , CO

Bill Prather has posted 82 blog entries and 320 comments since joining on 7/15/2006. Bill Prather 's average blog rating is 4.49.
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