Crazy Campaign Chronicles: Funny Stories from the Campaign Trail

by Rachel Zenzinger

Now that the Arvada election is only moments from being decided, it is safe to say that campaigns are a crazy undertaking.

When the Arvada Press asked Bob Frie a few weeks ago if he had any funny or interesting stories to share from the campaign trail, we had to laugh. Of course, there is no way a campaign can be executed without a hiccup here or there. Often what appears horribly dire one minute can seem absurdly funny down the road. It is difficult to distinguish what is humorous when caught up in the moment of strategizing for the campaign, working on get-out-the-vote efforts, coordinating volunteers, crystallizing platform messages, and implementing the millions of other key measures that must happen in a political campaign. So when we have sliced our finger with a knife while attempting to put in a yard sign, and the blood is dripping from the knife (as well as the sign) and a jogger comes around the corner and sees you standing there with knife, blood, and an odd grimace--not from the pain but from wondering "how am I going to get the blood off that sign"--it is no wonder some people do not see the humor in this.

Theproblem in relaying funny stories from the campaign trail is that they may in fact not be flattering to the candidate. For example, my daughter loves to point out all the Bob Frie signs she sees while driving around town. Every time we pass one she exuberantly yells out, "Look, Mommy, it's a Bob sign!" One day, she decides to mix it up a bit (being three years old, she is entitled). Instead of calling out Bob's name she decided it would be much more fun to spell out his name. All was fine until we came across a rather busy street with lots of signs. And from her innocent mouth, my child says rather earnestly, "Look, Mommy, it's another B-O-O-B sign!" At least it's good to know my daughter is abreast of politics.

Another reservation in sharing amusing stories is that they may possibly shed light on some aspect of your campaign strategy you do not wish your opponent to know about. Do we tell the story about the woman at the convenience store who was convinced Bob was homeless given how often he came to the store to use the restroom facility and buy a bag of chips? (Aha! Bob is out walking the such and such neighborhood!) Or do we share the story of me backing up at full speed and hitting a row of grocery carts, cracking my back bumper, in front of all our volunteers? (Aha! Bob is campaigning at the grocery stores!) How about the one in which a key supporter sent a letter out endorsing Bob asking interested folks to put "a yard in your yard"? (Aha! They are not proof-reading their literature!) While amusing, it's best we keep these stories to ourselves less they prove fatal to the campaign.

Then there are stories that, while funny, point toward our human flaws. My 2 year old daughter often accompanies me while working on the campaign. She has had some minor speech issues and works with a speech therapist to help increase her vocabulary, comprehension and articulation. As we were on our way to place a yard sign I hear her book slide down off her lap and hit the van floor. Then, very clearly from the backseat, I hear, "Dammit!" A little flustered I turn to her and ask, "What did you say sweetie?" Internally I'm thinking, "I'm going to kill my husband." After all, how in the world does she manage to carefully and clearly articulate this new word--and in context? I pull over to place the yard sign, mentally going down the list of potential culprits (school? sister? Uncle Bart?). As I ram the H-stand into the yard sign I manage to miss the holes, nick my hand, and out flies, "Dammit!" Carefully articulated and in context.

There are more stories which are probably only funny to those of us awake at 1 am planning our next campaign move. But all in all, it is better to laugh in politics than to take ones self too seriously. Humor gets you through the down times and keeps your spirits high through the good. Of course, there is nothing like a little heart attack to really put things into perspective...but that is another story for another day.