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Critique of a dinner salad

Contributed by: Rob Delisa on 7/13/2008

I was dining with my wife and a slightly under-age, but otherwise fine bottle of Pinot Noir when the salad was first brought to the table. Upon noticing the articulate presentation, I was somewhat excited at the prospect of delving in further and discovering the many virtues of this pending garden delight. Unfortunately, my joyful anticipation was short lived upon noticing the very compromising state of the romaine leafs which were left fighting for fresh air as they were crushed mightily under the weight of the much over-presented artichoke hearts. You just can't treat fresh roughage that way.

The discouragement doesn't end there. The liberal dousing of vinaigrette left my palate in a distressful state of panic, groping for the water glass. Additionally, I found the over presence of cucumbers to be slightly comical, but not the least bit amusing. Cucumbers in this case, if anything, are a bit too pretentious and totally unnecessary. The carrots seemed rudely understated and left begging for attention amongst the overabundance of dressing and parsnips. The addition of black olives was a bit distasteful, but not entirely offensive for a salad with subtle shades of far-west overtones.

However, when left to compete with the radishes, any good intentions were left behind. Furthermore, the Mid-Eastern sprinkling of sunflower seeds and alfalfa were in very poor taste and racially unbalanced. It was a noble gesture to mate pickled delicacies with fresh roughage; however all was lost with the conspicuous absence of poppy seeds. Nearly every aspect of this salad violated the natural laws of organic greens. I was further distraught by the mysterious omission of radish.

Overall, the salad objected to my better sense of moral integrity. Salads of this stature do little more than aggravate a man's allergies. Honestly, I anticipated the enjoyment of a modestly prepared salad and instead got a garish assortiment of badly misplaced greens. It was a horribly offensive message that a dining establish should try to pass off a salad this way, and expect a customer to continue with the next course. If a salad can be violated in this manner, I can only imagine what they might do with a filet mignon! I was not going to give them the chance to offend my culinary morals any further that evening. With my palate insulted the way it was, it was fortunate that I ordered another bottle of wine and got good and drunk or I may have had to punch the chef right in the nose. Next week, we'll talk about the appetizers.


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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Rob Delisa

Arvada , CO

Rob Delisa has posted 11 stories and 4 comments since joining on 11/7/2005. Rob Delisa 's average story rating is 4.82.
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