My name is John.

J-o-h-n.

My house is in Arvada.

I sleep when the sun is gone and get up when it comes back. My mom makes me pancakes for breakfast.

On Mondays I go to my grandparents' house and my mom works. I go to school on Tuesday and Thursday. My teachers are Miss Cathy and Miss Talia. Wednesday and Friday I stay at home and play with my mom. Saturday we play all day and Sunday we go to church at Saint Annes.

My mom is nice. We play games, read books, and put puzzles together. Every day she tells me to pick up my toys and usually I pretend not to hear her. My dad says that I'm stubborn just like she is. Every once in a while I do what she asks and my mom gets really happy. My dad says that if you do what my mom asks all the time, then she will begin to expect it.

For lunch I like to eat macaroni and cheese, and I can make it all by myself. My dad and I started cooking dinners after we watched my favorite movie of all time, Ratatouille. When we cook, it makes my mom really happy, but we don't do it all the time because, well, she'll begin to expect it.

I can kick the soccer ball really good. If I kick it past my dad, it's a goal. Yesterday I beat him 99 to 0. I also play baseball and golf. In the summer, my parents take me to Indian Tree Golf Course and let me putt on the practice green. My dad says you have to w-h-i-s-p-e-r when you play golf or they will throw you in jail.

My dad writes funny stories for Yourhub.com.

I'm glad that none of my friends can read.

My mom tells me not to call people names, but 99 times a day she says that my dad is an idiot.

So that's kind of confusing.

I havefour grandparents; Grandpa Bill, Grandma Donna, Grandma Helen, and Grandpa Heaven. When you talk to Grandpa Bill and Grandma Helen, you need to TALK LIKE THIS or they say, "What?" all the time.

My super-favorite things to do in Arvada are to go swimming at the Apex Center, play video games and eat buffalo wings at BW3's, and go to the Nature Center at Majestic Park. I also like to rent books at the new library in Olde Town Arvada where all the loser-skateboarder-punks hang out and try to act cool.

I like when adults try to keep secrets by spelling words, such as, "Can he have some c-a-n-d-y?" or "I forgot to tape S-c-o-o-b-y D-o-o" or "That's a bunch of B-S." They could at least give me a difficult one such as, O-b-a-m-a, what the heck does that mean?

Well, that's about it for a day in my life; waking up, eating, playing, going to the bathroom, waiting for my dad to get home from work, playing, eating, and reading books before bedtime.

Hey, I'm 4 years old, I hear big things happen when I turn 5.