When my daughter left for college out of state, we both thought it the best experience for her. (She later confirmed this, by the way.) With a car and trailer full of "stuff", we planned a weekend filled with moving in, attending orientation, and learning the lay of the land. Well, the moving in part took all of the first day with many trips up many stairs. Exhausted we checked into a motel room for the night. My daughter was too excited and nervous to sleep, so with a few short hours of rest, we made it through the next day ending with a tour of the campus.

Her excitement and anticipation were contagious as I realized that I would be leaving the following morning to head home. I vowed that I would not cry, but remain excited and positive about all the new experiences ahead. That lasted about 15 minutes until we reached the car! I then cried off and on all the way home. Now what?

REMOTE PARENTING - Part of parenting is letting go. Easier said than done, right? We taught them for 18 years about making choices and dealing with consequences, even if we had to assist with those. However, allowing our children the space to find their way is easier when they no longer live at home. I found that she called to talk, but not to get advice. Then as I listened to her describe some experience, she was starting to sound so grown up. I kept my mouth shut, except to say how proud I was that she handled herself so well. All they need is to know you are there.

CONTACTS & VISITS - Here's the tough part! How to tell your children not to call or come home so often. The first week I received 2-3-4 calls per day. She does not remember this frequency, but even after one month, the phone calls continued at 1-2 per day. In mid-October I mentioned how often she called home and then "I thought you wanted to hear from me" and "Don't you care what I'm doing" as mixed emotions came through. We did finally talk through her need to maintain frequent contact and to know she was still loved at home.

ACTIVITIES - Get involved with activities that are not kid-related! As you adjust to a household with an empty bedroom, find ways to contribute and engage with other adults. Having some new interests that do not relate to your children, relieves your children from feeling remorse (yes, they do) when they envision you at home missing them and feeling sad until they visit.

MAKE IT EASY - A few weeks pass and your college student is due for a weekend at home. You receive a call asking if you would mind if he or she went home with a friend this weekend. First thought is "of course, I mind", but remember in addition to being your child, he or she is a young adult enjoying new freedoms and friendships. Let them off the hook with no guilty feelings. After all you have a life, it isn't like you have "nothing" to do.

The house does seem quiet and empty as children go off to college, but homesick at home is part of the process. Hang in there!

~Rhonda