It's bound to happen to some poor schmuck: thinking of doing good for whomever it is in the family who usually takes care of those holiday dinners. But the best-laid plans can often go awry.
I remember when I was playing Boulder Rugby in the late'70s and right as everyone was polishing off this bird, ...
Oh wait. I can't tell that story here.
But another time, a girlfriend had invited my family over for dinner and she finished the turkey early, put it on the table, but the dog ate it, and so we tried to sneak in a bird from the deli downstairs, ...
Oh wait, that was
Helen Hunt in an episode of
Mad About You.
Anyway, we're looking for your best holiday dinner disaster stories.
Post them here. You have to register on YourHub.com, but that's no thang. If you are over 18, just lie about your birthdate. I did.
Or you can just add them on to this blog as comments, but I'd love to see some photos. They don't necessarily have to be pictures of destroyed turkeys, although that would be great, but maybe a picture of your family sitting down to a post-disaster dinner, say, at McDonalds?
YourHub.com's
Nothing But Niwot columnist,
Carol Forbes, is traveling to Montana this Thanksgiving, just so she can just buy a turkey from a co-op grocery run by Huddites, a sort of Amish community.
"My cooking is so questionable that I have been banned from experimental cooking. The last time I tried (about a month ago, chicken quesadillas), everyone in the family became ill," Forbes said.
But the time before that was a family dinner in which she not only had to throw out the pot roast, but the entire pot.
"I'm blaming that one on my sister, who told me she thought any fool would know to add liquid," Forbes said. "That said, Miss June, who lived next to my parents in Mississippi (her husband was the one who was a deacon of the church so they kept their booze with the Jews next door, so we saw a lot of them) gave me her killer sweet potato casserole recipe that everyone begs for. Yes, it involves pecans. I seem to be able to do what people say is the tough stuff (cordon bleu) but not the 'simple' things."
Which reminds me of a story about another woman, who put the turkey in early in the morning, but wanted to sing in her husband's holiday show, so she dressed as a turkey but the cabbie thought she was supposed to be in the Macy's parade, so she got back late and the turkey had ...
WWWHHHHAAAAAAAAA.
Oh wait. That was an episode of
I Love Lucy.
Anyway, YourHub.com's managing editor
Fairlight Baer tells a story from last year when her boyfriend, "Bear," a name ought to give us pause right there, opened up the champagne and sprayed it all over the dinner table.
My goodness, that was a disaster. I mean, I can only pray that they had another bottle.
But it reminds me of another story, and a friend of mine,
Dana, had baked this incredible cake, but as she was taking it from the kitchen to the dining room she slipped and the cake ended up on the kitchen floor. Seeing her distress, we all grabbed forks and got down on our knees to eat that cake right off the kitchen floor, and ...
Oh wait. That was
Alan Alda. I'm nowhere near that nice of a guy.
Anyway, you can see I'm in dire need of some stories. Apparently having none of my own.
What can I say? I just don't bake.