I open an email from sister and in the contents of said email lies a link to someone's or something's Myspace page.The page turns out to be for an Adult Entertainment Magazine titled Main Stage. I can't figure out why she has sent this to me.

Has my sister decided to play for the other team?

Have times gotten so financially bad for my med-school sister that she had to get some questionable photos taken of herself? Why would she send this? I wouldn't wanna know or see that.

Maybe someone I went to high school posed? I would wanna know and definitely see that!

I go back and read the email again to see if I passed over any pertinent information and it appears that I have. I missed the directions informing me to look at all the pictures the magazine has put on their profile to see if I find a certain house in the photos familiar.

Holy Childhood!!!

The house in a photo titled Main Stage Mansion, is our childhood home!

As I scroll through the rest of the pictures I am fascinated by the changes that have been made to my home. Two fire pits have replaced the flowers that were in the backyard where I used to catch bees and torture them. All the walls have been painted different colors and of course there is now a stripper pole where the couch used to be in the family room.

I decided to befriend Main Stage Magazine on Myspace. I also added a message informing them that I grew up in their so-called mansion (really not that big of a house) and find it bizarre to see a stripper pole where I use to watch cartoons on Saturday mornings. The geniuses wrote me back, "What do you mean you grew up in our house?"

I sent out an email to all my old friends with the pictures of the new house and I am sure you can guess how the emails varied. The guys all wrote back similar messages, something like, "Awesome Dude, think you can get me into a party!" The girls all write, "Oh, that's so sad... did your mom cry?" and one wrote, "Eww! I know that bald guy in the pic that owns the magazine. He tried to pick me up at the bar."

I am not sure how I feel about it. On one hand I don't give a hoot, and I am kind of interested if my room as some sort of sexual fantasy theme. On the other hand, I did spend years 4 to 18 of my life in that house. My hand prints from when I was 4 are imprinted in the cement on that driveway. I learned how to swim in that pool, and drive in the cul-de-sac.

You know what! Screw those basturds. They crapped on my memories like the ducks from the man-made lake in the back crapped all over the backyard and in the pool.

The party doesn't even look that fun. I had more people at my high school shindigs!