TRESPASSER CLAIMS WOMAN 'INVITED HIM TO A PARTY'
Claiming an invitation by a Charlene, or Cheryl or perhaps a Louise, a 32-year-old Boulder man found sleeping on the couch of a home on the 2200 block of Bluff Street was arrested on suspicion of felony counts of first-degree criminal trespassing and criminal mischief at 1:06 a.m. Jan. 12, according to reports. A neighbor, who told police the residents of the home were on vacation, called dispatchers after seeing the suspect bang on the front door and later hearing the sound of breaking glass, police said. When officers arrived, they found a broken window on the front door and the suspect sleeping on a couch that sported recent bloodstains, reports state. The suspect told police he had been drinking at a bar on the Pearl Street Mall when a woman invited him to a party at the home. Finding no party, the suspect said, he fell asleep on the couch. While the suspect could not quite remember the woman's name, he assured police she was a very attractive blonde. The suspect was booked and held at Boulder County Jail.

MAN CLAIMS PARALYSIS, PROCEEDS TO THRASH ARMS AND LEGS
First claiming paralysis, a 31-year-old male transient suddenly found the restorative powers of being arrested in the early hours of March 7, according to Boulder Police reports. An attending physician at Boulder Community Hospital, 1100 Balsam Ave., told police that the man refused to leave the emergency room after being examined for possible paralysis and a back injury. Finding neither, the physician told officers, he believed the suspect was attempting to get a prescription for narcotic painkillers. Despite the intervention of a security guard, the doctor said the man continued to yell at hospital staff members about his broken back and threatened to kill the physician. When officers arrived and began to escort the man from the emergency room, the suspect began to thrash about with his arms and legs, further calling into question the amount of paralysis he was suffering, according to reports. In fact, after being handcuffed, the man rammed his head into a police car, yelling "police brutality," the arresting officer wrote. The man was booked and held at Boulder County Jail on suspicion of trespassing, obstructing a police officer and resisting arrest.

DRUNK MAN STOPS CAR TO PARTAKE IN SNOWBALL FIGHT
Stopping and backing up his car on southbound Broadway Street near Spruce Street at 2:25 a.m. Dec. 21 to engage in a snowball fight, a 20-year-old Boulder man was subsequently arrested for investigation of DUI, careless driving and obstructing traffic, according to reports. An officer said the suspect was observed stopping and backing up the car, whereupon the three occupants jumped out and engaged in a snowball fight with two people who were standing at the corner. The suspect later told police he was driving his girlfriend's car home when it was struck by snowball thrown by the people at the corner. He was booked and released from Boulder County Jail.

COUPLE FOUND SLEEPING IN AN INTERSECTION
A couple found sleeping together in the roadway at the intersection of Ninth Street and Canyon Boulevard at 1:44 a.m. Dec. 29 were to be transported to the Alcohol Recovery Center, according to reports, until the slumbering 22-year-old Boulder man became belligerent. Officers said they told the man several times that he was not under arrest, and they were merely transporting him to the center, reports state. However, once in the patrol car the suspect began swearing at the officers and challenging them to fight, officers said. "I'd love to go to jail and infiltrate the system," the man allegedly told officers. Officers obliged this request and took the man to Boulder County Jail, where he was arrested for investigation of use of fighting words, held in a disciplinary cell and clothed in a suicide-prevention smock. The unidentified female was taken to the Alcohol Recovery Center.

WOMAN FINDS DRUNK STRANGER IN HER GARAGE
Found sleeping in an open garage on the 1200 block of 16th Street at 4:40p.m. Dec. 28, a 47-year-old transient male was ultimately arrested on suspicion of trespassing and public consumption of alcohol, according to reports. A woman told police she had already put her car in the garage before realizing the suspect was slouched in a corner with a half-full two-liter bottle of vodka and mumbling to himself. Police officers said they initially separated the vodka bottle from the suspect and informed him he was not welcome to stay in the garage to which the suspect allegedly responded "I'm not going anywhere; give me back my bottle." Subsequently the suspect was arrested and held at Boulder County Jail.

'REBORN' WOMAN CLAIMS HER NAME IS JEHOVAH
Confronting a customer at Mustard's Last Stand, 1719 Broadway St., for no known reason, a 33-year-old Denver woman was ultimately arrested for investigation of criminal mischief and disorderly conduct at 9:18 p.m. March 6, according to reports. Police said the woman walked past the business making an obscene gesture at the male customer, of unknown age, and then walked into the store, challenging the man to fight. The suspect then threw a cash register on the floor, causing about $200 in damage. Contacted nearby by police, the suspect told officers her name was Jehovah and she had been reborn on April 1, 2007. The suspect was ultimately identified through an RTD special discount card she was carrying at the time of her arrest. She was booked and held at Boulder County Jail.

MEN FIGHT OVER FOOTBALL TEAMS
Fighting over what is the best professional football team in the right-hand turn lane of southbound Broadway Street at University Avenue at 3:53 a.m. Dec. 21, two men were cited for brawling and one of them also earned a trip to Boulder County Jail, according to police reports. An officer said he was on vehicle patrol when he noticed the fight in the roadway. Handcuffing both suspects, the officer said he attempted to issue both men a summons, but one suspect, a 20-year-old Boulder man, refused to sign his ticket and get inside the patrol car to be taken to jail. The suspect was arrested on suspicion of brawling, underaged drinking and obstructing a police officer. He was booked and held at Boulder County Jail where he was immediately confined in a solitary cell due to his "poor behavior and attitude," reports state.

MAN'S 'FAULTY MEMORY' DOESN'T CUT IT
Claiming a faulty memory, a 62-year-old Boulder man was arrested for investigation of felony theft after walking out of McGuckin Hardware with $1,193 worth of unpaid items, according to police. Employees of the hardware store told police the suspect paid for one small item at the cashier, while pushing a cart filled with other merchandise. The cashier asked the suspect, "Can I see the receipt for the rest of the items?" to which the suspect responded, "I'll get it now" and continued to walk out of the store, according to reports. The arresting officer might have been more receptive to the suspect's claim of suffering through many head injuries and memory loss, reports state, had not the suspect detailed the many recent improvements and repairs he had just made to his scooter, which was parked outside the store. The officer allowed the suspect to lock the steering column and park the scooter, after which the suspect was booked and held at Boulder County Jail.

WOMAN OFFERS MAN DRUGS FOR HIS HAIR
Offering a 22-year-old construction worker drugs for his hair, a 31-year-old Boulder woman was refused and ultimately arrested on suspicion of first-degree criminal trespass, resisting arrest and obstructing a police officer at 11:51 p.m. April 15. Police said the woman walked into an unlocked apartment on the 900 block of Spruce Street, where neither of the tenants, both of whom were 22-year-old male construction workers, knew her. The men told police the woman, who appeared intoxicated, said many incomprehensible things to them, besides the hair for drugs comment, before they were able together to exit the apartment. After leaving the apartment, however, the woman began to bang on the front door very hard, hard enough that one of the responding officers said it appeared the window on the door was on the verge of breaking. The woman continued to refuse to leave the premises, and after her arrest attempted to kick out the patrol car windows. She was booked and held at Boulder County Jail.

MAN STUMBLES 'HOME' TO WRONG RESIDENCE
A 20-year-old Boulder man was arrested on suspicion of attempted first-degree criminal trespass and possession of alcohol by an underage person after police were called to the 700 block of 36th Street on May 29 on a report of a man trying to force his way into a home. The man was accused of trying to force his way into the residence where he thought his friends were. Unfortunately, it turns out he was likely one block off and on the wrong street, according to reports.

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Editor's note: Read other standout 2007 police blotter items here.