I've loved meat for as long as I can remember. Growing up in a big family no doubt contributed to this. Inexpensive lunch meat like bologna was often fodder for our lunches. Nearly nightly, mom would perform the miracle of the hamburger and the crackers, turning a handful of ground beef, some crushed saltines, eggs, spices and love into enough meat loaves to feed eight people. Whenever she would add a side dish of potato turnovers, we referred to it as the miracle of the loaves and knishes. There were also healthy doses of chicken. Being an inexpensive meat, it showed up in soups, in casseroles, fried, grilled and in about any other imaginable presentation. As a young Catholic, I also enjoyed a diet that leaned heavily on fish. A staple in our house was cod, although we also enjoyed most other fish including cat fish caught fresh in local lakes.
Coming from a background such as this, I surprised many of my friends and family members this year when I announced my intentions of going vegetarian for one year. Don't get me wrong; I had no moral inclination to attempt this lifestyle change. I have no problem eating things with faces. If an animal proves tasty, it had better have a hell of a personality as well as a face or it is going to be supper. Speaking of personality, it must really irritate ugly animals that the cuter animals seem to get a pass here. For instance, a salmon late in his life cycle, with an overbite of British proportion, a sloping forehead, and a face that looks like some kind of hand tool, must really despise clown fish. Of course, I don't take this philosophy to Alfred Packerian or Hannibal Lecterian extremes but that is about my only limit. Although, when it comes right down to it, the more people I get to know these days, the idea of Soylent Green doesn't sound all that bad.
I do not subscribe to the idea of ethics as it pertains to eating animals. When you get right down to it, a soybean or a stalk of asparagus has a natural life cycle just like a pig or a cow. So why give up meat? The first reason was to see if I could. The second reason was it would give me something to write about. In the tradition of "The Year of Living Biblically" by A.J. Jacobs and "Super Size Me" by Morgan Spurlock, I was curious to know what the results of a year long life style change in diametric opposition to the one I currently enjoyed would be. I started my experiment on January 1, 2008. The next ten weeks would be the longest year of my life.
The first step was to plan. As any real vegetarian can attest, the questions they most often get asked are, "Where do you get your protein?" and "Where do you get your iron?" The answers to these questions depend on to what extent one takes his vegetarianism. A vegan would consume absolutely no animal products of any sort. A lacto-ovo vegetarian would eschew all animal products except for milk products and eggs. I'm all about the loopholes, so I opted for the lacto-ovo option. In fact, if there were a similar loophole for beef, I would have been all over it. As the existing loopholes seem to okay the consumption of the excretions and the fruits of certain animals' reproductive organs, the likely loophole for beef would be a steaming cup of bull semen; so much for a beef loophole.
I purchased the book, "Becoming Vegetarian" which was extremely informative and which I would recommend for anyone contemplating a change of this sort. What I was most interested in was answering the previous two questions. The book addresses all sorts of ethical and ecological arguments for the benefits that can be attained from a vegetarian diet. These didn't concern me. I was interested on following through with my experiment in the healthiest way possible. After all, if one were to eat Twinkies all day, he would still not be eating meat. As with anything, there would clearly be a right and a wrong way to do this. As I was approaching this change in this way, I found the ideological parts of the book mind-numbing. It was like studying how roller coasters are made before going to an amusement park. I just want to go on the ride; I don't care how it works. What I really wanted was sample menus and to know which foods provided the nutrients that meat formerly had.
As it turns out, beans of most types are something of a miracle food. They contain most essential nutrients, protein, carbohydrates, and fats and in almost the exact proportions of the recommended daily allowances. Proteins are also found plentifully in nuts, eggs, and other non -meat foods. Any dark green vegetables are also a good source of iron. Clearly, a trip to the store was in order. Judy and I visited the local market. I went wild in the bean aisle, grabbing bag after bag of beans with grand thoughts of soups and such dancing in my head. I've always liked spinach, so we stocked up on that and also got lots of broccoli. Fruits and whole grains, also indispensable to the vegetarian diet, were piled high into the cart as well. In a fit of vegetarian fervor, I even nearly purchased hummus. We pushed our stack of natural goodness to the checkout and made our purchase. As it turns out, eating healthy isn't cheap.
Food in hand and a little knowledge, and the grand experiment was ready to begin. Of course, you know what they say about a little knowledge. How does it all turn out? Come back and find out.