Players:

Bill
Bill's inner monologue (Bim)
Colorado State Trooper (Trooper)
God

Setting: Somewhere near mile marker 234, southbound from Loveland to Brighton

It is the end of a long, thirteen hour work day. Anxious to be home and fatigued from a long day, Bill speeds recklessly down the highway asserting himself like a school yard bully. The rode widens from two to three lanes, and Bill slingshots around the plodding vehicle ahead of him, his car a little white blur of hostility and impatience. Suddenly, the red and blue flashing lights in his rear view mirror tell him his luck has run out. Sullenly, he angles his car to the shoulder, kills the engine, and retrieves his documentation. The officer walks toward the car as Bill rolls down the window.

Trooper: "Good evening sir. Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Bim: "I don't know. It depends on how long you've been following me."
Bill: "I'm not sure."

Trooper: "You were following too closely. I'm going to have to cite you. That was a very aggressive move there."
Bim: "Which one?"
Bill: "Yes, sir."

Trooper: "Where are you headed in such a hurry?"
Bim: "South, duh."
Bill: "Just a little anxious to get home. I've been at work since eight this morning."

Trooper: "Have you been drinking any alcohol this evening, sir?"
Bim: "No; I'm this much of a jerk naturally."
Bill: "Not a drop, sir."

Trooper: "May I have your license, registration, and proof of insurance, sir?"
Bim: "Crap."
Bill: "Yes, sir."

The trooper returns to his car to take care of the business at hand. Bill anticipates breaking the news to his wife and hopes his insurance premium doesn't go through the roof. After what seems like a few days, the trooper returns. He hands Bill's documents back to him, bids him to be safe, and releases him.

Bill slowly accelerates on the shoulder as he prepares to assimilate back into traffic.

"I suppose you think all those mental asides where pretty witty, huh?"

Bill: "Who's there?!"

"Who do you think?"

Bill: "I've think I've been working too long."

"Oh come on! You've been praying for patience and calmness for two months now. Did you honestly think I wouldn't answer you?"

Bill: "Oh my..."

"Now you've got it!"

Bill: "So the ticket is my answer?"

"You've heard the saying; I work in mysterious ways. Besides, the usual stuff wasn't working."

Bill: "What do you mean, the usual stuff?"

"I mean I've been answering you since you first prayed; you just weren't listening for my answer."

Bill: "When did you answer me?"

"Who did you think was in all those cars in front of you?"

Bill: "My first thought was really old, legally blind people."

"Not funny. I guess you forgot that whole 'when you did this to the least of my brothers, you did it to Me' thing, huh? You know, you're very unforgiving when you drive. Remember; every Sunday you pray that I forgive you your debts as you forgive others. You may want to rethink you attitude towards other drivers. You know I can forgive you anything, but would you be able to forgive yourself if you actually killed someone? "

Bill: "Sorry."

"Are you? Really? Let Me ask you this: How much time do you really think you will save by driving like a maniac?"

Bill thinking the question rhetoric, silently waits for God to continue.

"No, really; I expect an answer. I know you will be able to thinking of nothing else until you figure it out OCD boy. Remember I made you, or as they'd say back in the day, 'I knit you in your mother's womb.' Go ahead and figure it out. I'm not going anywhere."

After about five minutes, Bill responds, "Two...three minutes tops."

"Would you really be willing to trade the next forty years with Judy for an extra two minutes tonight?"

Bill: "When You put it that way, I guess not."

"Great! Now don't be a stranger. You know I love hearing from you. Go now with...well... with Me!"

Bill: "Thank you, Father! Oh... and God?"

"Yes?"

Bill: "Was that a hard forty years, or fortyish?

"I'll never tell. Be good."