Amongst the "ABC's of me", one of my most defining characteristics is my tendency to be a little obsessive. Whether it's the fact that I must always pull five napkins from the dispenser at our favorite pizza joint (no more, no less), a new found musical love dominating my CD purchases, or a new hobby consuming most of my free time, this dynamic remains fairly consistent. Such is the case with my newest hobby -hiking.

To be honest, I never set out to be an outdoorsy, naturalist, fitness-obsessed type of guy. I stumbled into this love of hiking from the sheer desire not to gain weight on my last vacation. I was to be alone on this vacation, as Judy had already used her time for the year. With nothing to do but watch television, play Wii, or meander around the internet, I thought I had better come up with an alternate plan.

My first day of vacation, I decided to go over to Barr Lake near Brighton and start walking. I looked at the map and saw that the walk around the entire lake was about nine miles. I figured, "What the heck, I'll go as long as I'm comfortable and then turn back." Three miles in, I still felt strong. At that point, I decided I would go around the entire lake as turning back after four or more miles would be about the same difference. Six miles later, I had walked the entire lake and still felt great.

Part of losing a hundred pounds in the last year has been to become more active, or at the very least, less sedentary. The only thing I would have done differently would have been to try a greater variety of activity sooner. I might have learned much sooner that I really love hiking. Then again, had I tried it sooner, I may not have been able to hack it.

Lesson one: I am capable of a lot more than I think I am. I will try new things and expect to succeed.

The next thing I knew, I was looking up local day hikes on the internet and soliciting my uber-outdoorsey friend, Brendan, for advice. In short order, I decided that the Boulder Open Space and Mountain Parks (OSMP) were to be my personal mecca for all things hiking. After a lightly taxing and cursory introduction to Boulder hiking, Wonderland Lake, was conquered (as well as an overriding anxiety about mountain lions and bears), I graduated to the more challenging hikes at the Chautauqua trail heads off of Baseline Road. Six weeks, fifty miles, 10,000 feet of elevation gain, and a new pair of Keen hiking boots later, I feel compelled to share what I've learned. I first offer this disclaimer: I have no illusions of being an authority in this area. This is more a list of personal rules for me to live by, as they pertain to hiking.

Lesson Two: The hike always looks longer on the map than it actually is. Have a general idea of what trails you want to do but be open to adjusting your plan. This will become easier once you have a feel for what you are capable of. Once you decide, let someone know where you will be hiking. I call Judy right before I start and tell her where I will be. I also try to remember to call her when I am done. It is also a very good idea to program the ranger's number into your cell phone. The converse to this lesson is that the hike is normally steeper than it looks on the map.

Lesson Three: Resist linear thinking when hiking. When I started it was all miles per hour and any other numerical way I could quantify my hike. I learned quickly that, for me, hiking is more about the journey than the destination. When all you can think about is where you are going to end up, you'll miss a lot along the way. Look around. Stop and take a few pictures. Pet some dogs. Commune with the deity of your choice.

Lesson Four: Don't complain about the trail. On some websites I've seen, people have left reviews saying some trails are not marked well. Believe it or not, God did not create nature with the specific criteria of how easy it would be for you to hike. To their credit, the people responsible for the OSMP have made the trails as minimally intrusive to nature as possible. As I stated before, I am by no means an authority, but I have come up with "Bill's rules of trail sense" for your consideration.

Especially in Boulder, when in doubt, the trail goes up. Your mind, knees, and lungs may be telling you that the gently downward-sloping area over there is the trail. It's not. The trail goes up. If a bunch of fallen tree limbs or a pile of rocks seems unnaturally clustered, barring your entry to the gently downward-sloping area, that's because IT'S NOT THE TRAIL! The trail goes up.

The trail may also have some subtle "tells" that will keep you on the right track. A row of rocks low enough to step over but high enough to divert water that cuts perpendicular across your path is a good sign you are still on the trail. Also, a really smooth log with rebar driven down through it across your path is a strong indication that you are still on the trail.

Lesson Five: What goes up will come down. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Whether you come down in a flight for life helicopter, in a pile of bear scat, running (you must be from Boulder), or just exhausted and happily walking, you will get back down sooner or later.

Lesson Six: Hike friendly. Always be the first to offer the right of way, and always thank the people who give it to you. Say hello to everyone you see. An eighteen inch wide path is no place for a battle of wills. Besides, it's a good time to take a rest and a drink, and it maximizes your dog-petting potential.

Lesson Seven: Know your limitations. Always stay on the trail to minimize your effect on nature, but within that parameter, take the path of least resistance. Take smooth over steep. If given a choice of over or around a rock, choose around. You never know when you might need that step later. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Many times you may be alone; just you and the Big Guy. He already knows your limitations; you should too. And be prepared. Take extra layers of clothing for sudden weather changes and twice as many snacks as you think you may need. Also bring a weather appropriate hat and some sun block.

For technical advice on hiking, there are scores of books out there. However, I will offer an excerpt from a recent e-mail from my friend, Brendan, for your immediate consumption:

"...might be a good idea to put together some first aid/emergency stuff to take with you, especially since you're going out alone a lot. You don't have to be an expert or anything, but it's good piece of mind to have some stuff along in case something bad happens. Here's what I carry everywhere if you need some guidelines:

-Tweezers (for cactus needles and stuff)
-Space blanket (reflects body heat, good if you have to spend the night somewhere cold)
-Bunch of different methods to start a fire -- one box matches, one lighter, fire starter cotton balls, magnesium fire starter
-Gauze
-Iodine tablets (for purifying water in a pinch)
-Needle and thread (in case you need to do surgery on yourself, or your pants
-Krazy glue (works better than trying to stitch up a small wound)
-Little packets of antibiotic ointment
-Couple alcohol wipes

I cram all this stuff into a one-liter Nalgene bottle, and wrap a long strip of duct tape around it, probably 100 feet. Duct tape and gauze is basically everything you need to make a giant Band-Aid. And duct tape, well, you have a pair of testicles, you know what that s***'s for; blisters, broken things, tourniquet, all kinds of stuff. I use a bunch of different backpacks for different activities, but I always switch the "Emergency Nalgene" into whatever one I'm taking with me. It weighs maybe a pound, but totally worth it. I also always have a headlamp and extra batteries (even if I'm leaving at 8 in the morning for a 2-mile hike), and a small knife on me, because some lady in a bar once told me a man should always have a knife on him.

Anyway, sorry, not trying to get you to buy more stuff, but I've found it's very rewarding keeping your name out of the paper following the words 'lost hiker.'"

And because this is my blog, my last set of rules deal with bodily functions.

Lesson Eight: Even though some trail bathrooms are enough to make a guy hover, don't be afraid to use them. The upside is you can take the most heinous, smelliest dump you've ever taken, and no one can blame the smell on you. The down side is you'll never know if it was your most heinous, smelliest dump.

Lesson nine: Never, ever, drink two and a half cups of coffee before any hike unless you know for certain you will encounter a plethora of bathrooms, "modesty areas", you have the ability to tie certain parts of your anatomy into a knot, or you are really into kegels.