It has dawned upon me recently that I am a child of the television age. More specifically, I am a child of the visual age. Much of what I say, the way I do things, the way I think, how I talk, and how I process the world about me is influenced by the things I've seen on television and at the movie theatre. The last century, in my estimation, has been marked by three distinct ages. In terms of how we procure entertainment and knowledge, the ages would be the radio age, the television age, and the computer age. Alternatively, we could call these the aural age, the visual age, and the information age.

The radio, or aural age, could just as easily be called the oral age. It is characterized by the spoken word. From the first decade of the twentieth century until the mid to late fifties, radio was where the world turned for its news and entertainment. It was an important step in making the world a smaller place in terms of the connectedness of the American people as a whole, but at the same time, it opened broad horizons for Americans as individuals. A flip of a switch and a turn of a dial was all it took to follow along with The Shadow, Edward R. Murrow, or Buck Rogers.

I imagine the magic of radio was that it required the patrons to actively listen and it challenged their imaginations. The prose of the writers and the artistic expression of the actors were the foundation, but it was up to the listener to fill in the blanks in his own mind's eye. Part of the magic of radio was that each new world imagined was completely unique to that listener. The Buck Rogers' spaceship my father may have very well imagined was all his own and looked like no other. The heyday of radio was well over before I was even born, but I'd like to think it would have been right up my alley.

Lately, I've taken to listening to audio books, especially those read by the authors who penned them. The appeal of them to me is not only the imaginings they bring, as I could experience those from reading the books; it is also the fact that I love words. Well chosen words and turns of phrase will often have me backing up to jealously listen again, wishing I has thought of them and challenging myself to be creative as they are. My current favorite authors on audio book are Bill Bryson and David Sedaris. One can read and appreciate these authors, but to hear them speak their own words is a completely different experience. All the emotions, inflections, and inferences the authors intended are present, making the experience all the richer. To hear Bryson talk of being taken in by a couple in a strange land for an evening's dinner and overhearing the man's wife "angrily pelting him with whispers" or Sedaris' play on words in his essay "Youth in Asia" is to understand what is possible when a person has both an excellent command of language and an wry sense of humor. Bryson wields metaphors with the skill and precision of a surgeon wielding a scalpel. Sedaris' wit could cut glass.

I am a child of the television age. I cannot remember a time without television. Television was great in that it removed the necessity of active thought. One no longer needed to imagine what the story looked like. It had been pre-imagined for us by directors and producers. The lexicon of television oozed into my everyday conversation even when I was a toddler. Once while waiting in the car for our mother to come out and drive the rest of my siblings to school, I took my usual place in the middle of the front seat, not a car seat in sight. I decided to play with the steering wheel to pass the time. Mom got in the car, and with a deft smack to the back of my hand, let me know that that was something I would perhaps want to reconsider doing. Immediately, quoting a popular commercial of the day in which a comely woman slaps a ruggedly handsome man across the face in reference to a cologne named after a martial art, I replied, "Thanks mom; I needed that."

This illustrates a phenomenon almost completely unique to the male of the species. You will rarely meet a man anywhere on Earth who cannot quote a myriad of movies at length. While women have been busy for decades discussing their feelings and beliefs on subjects ranging from love, family, and sex, men have discovered that by quoting movies it is quite possible to go several years without engaging in or generating a single, original rational thought. Let's face it, men. If it is worth saying, it has probably already been written by someone else. These quotes work for almost any situation. Observe:

"Bill; in your view, what affect did the industrialization of the last century have on the standard of living in the United States?"

"Mongo not know. Mongo only pawn in game of life."

"Bill; the Dalai Lama is coming to Denver, and you are invited to have an audience with him. How do you think it will go?"

"So I says to the Lama, 'How about a little something, you know, for the effort?' And he says, 'Oh; there will be no tip. But when you die, on your death bed, you will receive total conscientiousness.' So I got that going for me, which is nice."

In fact, a man who cannot quote Caddyshack should immediately be made to surrender his man card.

I also tend to have strange ideas that could have their roots no where else but from television. For instance, the other day I was watching the Food Network and suddenly realized that if Danny Devito split with Rhea Perlman and married the Barefoot Contessa, her married name, should she choose to hyphenate, would be Ina Garten-Devito. Thoughts such as these are the source of some consternation when I realize that I have a finite supply of memory with which to navigate the remainder of my life.

Being a child of the television age, I entered the computer age with wariness. I have still not completely given myself over to it. To me, a camera, a phone, and a typewriter are three different things. Oh, who am I trying to kid? Okay. To me, a camera, a phone, and a computer are three different things. It causes me pause to think that any child born in the computer age may very well not know what a typewriter is. You've skipped several layers of Dante's hell if you've never tried to type a twelve page essay when you have been blessed with the typing skills of a three-toed sloth with Parkinson's disease. Even the video games have made millennial leaps forward. I can remember when the height of video gaming technology was Pong by Atari. Now games are so lifelike, I wouldn't know whether I was playing a war game or watching a news clip from Iraq.

I can only imagine what the next great age holds in store. For now I'm content with a good book, a good movie, and my laptop.