I have a new hobby. Whenever I'm out and about, I like to count how many trucks, hummers, and other huge vehicles that have a for sale sign in the window. During a recent ten-mile drive from my house to a nearby shopping center, I observed no less than five such vehicles parked on the sides of various roads. I did not include the S.U.V. on our street that had "for sale" written in dirt on the back window, as I could not account for the veracity of the offer.

As oil companies post record profits in the trillions, Joe Six Pack is discovering that the exorbitant fuel prices are forcing a choice of eating or driving. This amounts to a modern day parallel of the Cold War question of "guns or butter". It's either fill up the hummer that seemed like such a good idea a few years ago, or find alternative transportation and do something novel, like paying one's other bills.

People seem to be getting creative when it comes to paying the bills. We have neighbors one block east and one block south of us that have a yard sale about once a month. This signifies several things. First, they must have an unlimited supply of stuff they don't need. Second, if assumption one proves wrong, their house must be getting more and more bare with each passing month. Lastly, one would assume as the yard sales continue, fewer items will be deemed off limits for the monthly purge. I would love to be a fly on the wall at this house.

"Sweetie it looks like we are going to be a little short again this month."

"I'll get the cash box and go to the bank for change."

"Good idea. So what do we have to sell?"

"Well, you haven't used your golf clubs in three years."

"If my golf clubs go so does your mother's china."

"Done. Say, what's that over there on the refrigerator?"

"Jimmie did that in school last week."

"Looks like modern art to me. Let's slap a cheap frame on it and post it on E-bay."

"Cool. Speaking of E-bay, I found a corn flake that looked like the Millennium Falcon."

"Sweet! I'll get the camera. Those Star Wars geeks will pay a lot of money for that."

I, myself, have had to come up with interesting new ways to live in the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed (you know, gainfully employed and commuting to work every day). Without further delay, I would like to announce the first annual (or monthly, as my finances dictate) Boucher Family Bake Sale for Petrol Challenged Middle-Income Shoe Store Managers. It will feature reasonably-priced cookies at $50 per dozen, brownies at $15 per pound, and $5 coffee. Hey, if it works for Starbucks, why wouldn't it work for me?

I've also accepted an internet position that theoretically pays me to write. Never mind that the pay is by hits and to reach the level of hits required for payment would call to mind Carl Sagan rhapsodizing about the billions and billions of stars in the cosmos. Were Wilt Chamberlain a gigolo and paid at this rate, it would have still taken him two hundred lifetimes to raise enough money to buy enough gas to run my lawn mower for two hours.

Add to this the fact that my editor drops e-mails like suburban delinquents drop Ecstasy, and you have one enjoyable writing experience. By the way, people who are not English or Australian and use "cheers" as a salutation should have there testicles slammed in a car door.

I do have a strategy, however. It's come to my attention that certain key words can drive hits. If you'll pardon me, I have to go now and add either the words "naked" or "free porn" to my previous posts.