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Blog Entry 16 of 144 The Meaning of Life, or at Least the Last 24 Hours
First, a few things about me. I am deceptively handsome for someone who is significantly overweight. Don't get me wrong. I'm not washes-himself-with-a-rag-on-a-stick fat or bury-him-in-a-piano fat, but I could stand to lose another 60 or 80. Second, almost none of what I say can be taken seriously. I love to write, and as a previously self-admitted fatty, I am a king of self-deprecating humor. I look for the humor in everyday life, and this is the meaty chunks of which I will write (note: overweight people often use food as adjectives and metaphors). Third, I am notoriously unreliable, so don't expect an update every day. I am a retail manager, which means I work like a dog. Seriously, retail is great for loners and orphans. Just ask my wife. In fact, when a guy shoots up a fast food restaurant and they interview the people that knew him and they always say "He was kind of a loner, he kept to himself." This guy generally works retail. Fourth, do not expect political correctness from this blog. It is my point of view, that on the pallette of life most of us are not even primary colors. Hell, most of us are that dried slop that collects on the brush when you forget to wash it. No one's better than anyone else on my blog. Well maybe we're better than the hippies; can't stand them. Oh, and soccer moms too. I don't really care about your honor student. Oh yeah, also the people that don't watch their kids. Put a leash on Skippy, or I'll whack him with a Ritalin stick.

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~BillsBunchoBSblog

Britney Vs. Ashlee, A Good Case for Lethal Force

Contributed by: William Boucher   on 6/23/2006

You asked for the worst, and you got the worst. The crappiest act in the world....Vanilla A....er, Vanilla Ice. Nothing irritates me more than when I hear that classic guitar lick and expect to be wrapped up in the fantastic vocals of Freddy Mercury and David Bowie, only to be aurally assaulted by egocentric whispering of some Gumby-looking gangsta wanna-be. His rap career had a shorter lifespan than a mayfly. Not hard to comprehend when you consider the street-cred of a name like Robbie Van Winkle. Life's a "B", and then you do "The Surreal Life".

I'm generally not down with any artist or group that doesn't play their own music, instrumentally speaking. This would cover any and all boy bands. Remember the Force MD's? Didn't think so. How about Ninety-eight Degrees? New Kids? The same goes for the flavor of the week blonde girls whose main talents are about eight inches under their chins. I mean seriously, can you really tell them apart? Most of the music produced here is pabulum that brings new meaning to the words "white noise". Britney, Christina, Jessica, Ashlee, et al, bleach and breasts do not a career make. In reality, about half the group named above are no more than walking punch-lines. Give me Nellie Furtado, Alicia Keys, Bonnie Raitt, or Susan Tedeschi any day. Just give me some substance.

Much of today's music is what I call cookie-cutter music. Manufactured, focus-group, saccharine, soulless slop. Contrived and meaningless. Ask any old fart my age, and he can tell you that in our day music had meaning. It was the soundtrack of our lives. You could turn on your radio and say, "man, that guy knows exactly what I'm feeling." I mean, could you ever imagine handing someone a tape (remember, these were the dark days before even cd's) with "Oops, I Did it Again" or "Hit Me Baby One More Time" and saying, "this song says what I'm feeling". Could you imagine trying to capture a friend or loved-ones essence with a mix tape of crap like this. You are basically telling them their essence is as fleeting as steak at a PETA convention.

Classic music tells stories that are as relevant twenty years later as the day they were written. It tells stories about things like forbidden love, pivotal moments in history, and people who changed the world. I think of songs like "Laila", "Woodstock", and "Pride (in the Name of Love)" and instantly connect to specific feelings, places, and people. I hear "The Right Stuff" and instantly connect to the need to change the station. This is why people and groups like Eric Clapton, U2, Dave Matthews, BB King, and The Stones seem to go on forever and people and groups like Gerardo, Lou Bega, and The Baha Men end up on VH1 blurbs like "One-hit Wonders" and "Where Are They Now?"

Whether you're rockin' or bloggin' tell me a story I'll care about. Tell me about your life.



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Showing 1-7 of 7 comments
Submitted By: William Boucher
posted on 6/23/2006 @ 11:20:07 PM
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It's a tough room when your wife bags on you.
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Submitted By: Judy Boucher
posted on 6/23/2006 @ 9:32:16 AM
Rated Blog Entry
As least you could have spelled Layla correct.
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Submitted By: Tabitha Dial
posted on 6/22/2006 @ 3:38:24 PM
Rated Blog Entry
I remember my younger cousin adored the Spice Girls. I refused to give them much of a chance, because they don't play their own music. My cousin tried to tell me that the harmonica solo in one of their songs was mastered by Scary Spice, to get me to like them. Yeah. Right, kid.
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Submitted By: Jared Keller
posted on 6/21/2006 @ 3:24:21 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Hey...Ice was from the street. It was Sesame Street, but the street, nontheless. Oh, and his film - Cool As Ice - was an understated masterpiece in the late-80s/early-90s teen angst milieu, much like Lambada. I mean, Mr. Van Winkle rode a motorcycle. Motorcycles automatically make a guy cool, right? And his stage name was Ice, so that also conveyed a certain coolness. Now, he was no Young MC or Gerardo, but then again, who is? How 'bout some underrated artists? Mark Knopfler, anyone?
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Submitted By: John Zwick
posted on 6/21/2006 @ 2:49:25 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Let's be fair, though - there was tons of crap from the "classic rock" era, too. We've just done what we'll do again in 20 years and forgotten about it. PS: Classic rock radio doesn't play nearly enough Free, Mountain or Vanilla Fudge. Or Deep Purple. If you'll pardon me, I need to air guitar and explain to the officer here that MUSIC THAT TOTALLY JAMS is not probable cause for a drug search.
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Submitted By: Travis Henry
posted on 6/21/2006 @ 9:38:46 AM
Rated Blog Entry
Eric Clapton is pretty much tops in my book. Did you see the Concert for George? Pure masterpiece. I think you took the easy way out with Vanilla though. I don't know if anyone ever considered him an artist. Plus he had a hard life, being raised in the ghetto by the Crips and all.
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Submitted By: Brendan Leonard
posted on 6/21/2006 @ 9:08:33 AM
Rated Blog Entry
Lou Bega! For God's sake, man! You remember him too!
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Showing 1-7 of 7 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

William Boucher

Brighton , CO

William Boucher has posted 144 blog entries and 1661 comments since joining on 11/6/2005. William Boucher 's average blog rating is 4.96.
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