register |  login
› CASTLE PINES
Loading Ad
Visit Other Hubs:
ADVERTISEMENT
Loading Tower
RECENT STORIES

My no-fail methods to beat the casino
Contributed by: Connie Massa on 11/9/2007

Like a lot of folks, I head up the hill a few times a year to claim my share of the bounty that waits. I drive up; armed with my player's card, free cash and buffet coupons and my lucky charm to ward off any bad karma.

I head straight for the video poker machines. For a slot machine, the odds are best on these. I like that I have a real choice in my destiny.

From my experience, I have learned several no-fail methods of beating these video bandits. I think you will find them beneficial.

First, it's important to pick a machine that is ready to pay big. Look at the last payout on the machine. If it's more than 100 coins, walk away. It's a man-eater. There is no such thing as heating it back up once someone has banged it for everything.

Second, sit at a machine that is really noisy. Most of these are located on the end of the row or near the front door. There's no better advertisement than a loud, obnoxious sound blaring from a slot machine to lure unsuspecting victims. The casino strategically places them at these locations to give the illusion that they are all winners. History has shown that the only winner in the row is the machines at these locations.

Third, always look for a machine that an elderly person has played and left. If you pay attention, you'll notice that older folks are the luckiest at gambling. The proof is in the pictures on the winner's wall of fame at the casino. You'll see that the average age is approximately sixty. This seems to be a universal rule with all gambling, including the lottery.

Fourth, don't drink while gambling. Drinking gives you the false sense of security that you have landed the goose that lays the golden egg. It makes hundred dollar bills seem like twenty-dollar bills. Before long, you are frantically searching for the nearest ATM because you're sure the machine is overdue to hit. After all, you've all ready put part of the kid's college fund into it.

Fifth, you need to think like a video machine. There is no such thing as luck. You are locked into a battle of wits. Study the nuances of the machine and beat it at its' own game. If a fifteen year old can hack into a highly-secured government website, you can defeat this electronic opponent.

Sixth, and perhaps my most foolproof, is to go to the video store and rent a movie for $3.99. Go home, make a bucket of popcorn, plant yourself on the recliner and kick back. I find that this method is the most effective. I can say with absolute assuredness that I have never lost a dime to casinos using this strategy.

Don't thank me for the advice. I'm happy to pass it on. Whatever method you decide to employ, I believe that your gambling experience will be less stressful and more profitable.



SUBMIT COMMENT

Rate the above story



Current Rating
Based on 4 user ratings.

Talk Back : submit comments to the story

*Note: you need to log-in to add a comment or rating.

Showing 1-2 of 2 comments
Submitted By: Michael Rule
posted on 11/10/2007 @ 9:37:00 AM
Rated Story
I think I'll watch movies until I reach 60. Then I'll head to the hills to claim my fortune....
[Report as objectionable]
Submitted By: Brendan Leonard
posted on 11/9/2007 @ 11:53:42 AM
Rated Story
No. 6 is pretty fool-proof. I employ it quite often, as well.
[Report as objectionable]
Showing 1-2 of 2 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Connie Massa

Castle Rock , CO

Connie Massa has posted 23 stories and 3 comments since joining on 10/2/2007. Connie Massa 's average story rating is 5.
SAVE AND SHARE THIS STORY
STORY RSS FEEDS
WANT TO WRITE FOR YOURHUB.COM?
Want to see the stories you write and the photos you shoot featured in the YourHub.com Thursday print section available all over the Front Range and with home subscriptions of the Rocky Mountain News and The Denver Post? All you have to do is register, then post a story or column, start a blog or tell everyone what events are happening in town. We will print the best stories, columns, event listings, photos and blog entries in our print sections.

ADVERTISEMENT
Loading Ad

Loading Ad
ADVERTISEMENT
Loading Ad

This YourHub.com community is produced by The Denver Newspaper Agency
Web Development and Channel Analytics provided by Indigio

terms of use //  privacy policy
the staff //  advertise //  help & faq
buy photos