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Remembering Ray

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Contributed by: Connie Massa on 3/25/2008

My dear friend, Ray, was diagnosed with brain cancer in October 2007.

The prognosis was not good. Even if he responded to treatment, the most he could expect was a few more months, maybe a year.

To add insult to injury, the biopsy that was performed caused him to suffer a stroke.

I've watched from the sidelines these few months as Ray has battled the effects of this insidious disease. In what seemed like overnight, he lost his clarity of thought, movement in his right arm and his ability to speak clearly.

Notwithstanding the physical devastation it caused, he also lost the ability to work, drive and do the things he enjoyed. He was a captive in his body and in his home.

Yesterday, Ray died. He did it on his own terms. No one was there with him. It was the way he wanted it to be. He wasn't about to let this disease rob him of anything else.

With the few hours that have passed since his death, I have contemplated how I want to remember Ray. The answer is clear.

I'm going to remember his laughter. He had a great laugh. It was deep and loud and resonated throughout a room full of people. When Ray was laughing, everybody joined in. He found humor within himself and those around him.

Even when life was throwing him curveballs, he found the humor in it. When he was struggling to speak because of his slurred speech, he would pause, take a breath and laugh at himself. His happiness was infectious.

I'm going to remember his sense of fairness. Ray had no use in his life for idle gossip or grudges. He treated everyone like they were his friends. He was a real no-nonsense type of guy.

If Ray had it to give, he gave without hesitation. In all the years that I knew him, I never heard Ray say no to anyone who asked for his help. He cared for those around him more than he did himself.

Ray was the most generous, unpretentious man I have ever met.

I'm going to remember how Ray unconditionally loved all those in his life. How he doted over his three children and how involved he was in their lives. The undying love he had for his wife.

The commitment he gave to his sister, brothers and all his family members. For those of us who were lucky enough to be called his friends, his devotion to us was beyond words. He was a once-in-a-lifetime person.

I know as time passes, the sadness of his loss will fade. Eventually the tears will end and the precious memories of the times we all shared will fill the void in our lives. Ray didn't die with cancer, Ray lived with cancer.

He left us all with a great legacy which will forever live in our hearts.

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Showing 1-2 of 2 comments

Submitted By: Barbara Neff

posted on 4/2/2008 @ 7:21:06 AM

Rated Story

connie, this is a moving tribute to ray. what a terrible loss. reminds us life is a fragile thing. thank you.

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Submitted By: Michael Rule

posted on 3/27/2008 @ 7:04:41 AM

Rated Story

Very well written. Ray sounds like a great guy.

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Showing 1-2 of 2 comments

CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Connie Massa

Castle Rock , CO

Connie Massa has posted 23 stories and 3 comments since joining on 10/2/2007. Connie Massa 's average story rating is 5.

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