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YourHub.com \\ Castle Pines \\ Stories \\ Holidays \\ Halloween

Me vs. The Pumpkin

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Contributed by: Connie Massa on 10/8/2007

Pumpkin...check. Newspaper...check. Pattern transfer...check. Deluxe pumpkin carving set...check.

This year is going to be different my friend. The pumpkin I carve this year will challenge the likes of Michelangelo. It will be my "David".

Never again will I hear the taunting voices of my kids laughing shamelessly at my jack-o-lantern with triangle eyes, nose and smiling mouth with no teeth. When it's lit, it will shine like a beacon in the darkest night beckoning trick-or-treaters to my front door.

So, I begin by carving the top off and scraping the gooey, stringy guts from my raw friend. I spend extra time removing all this excrement so there will be nothing dangling inside when I carve the face. I'm even going to wash and dry the inside. No skimping on steps this year.

He's ready for the pattern transfer. It's no longer just a pumpkin. It is taking on a life. I am like Dr. Frankenstein anxiously awating that one bolt of lightning to jolt my lifeless gourd. I place the pattern on the pumpkin and begin carefully tracing the lines.

It's not an easy task. The pumpkin is bumpy and the marker I'm using doesn't write on the skin. I switch to a ballpoint pen and decide to press harder when tracing so it will at least leave a line I can see. Why didn't I use carbon paper under the pattern?

Oh, well, the lines are somewhat visible and I can always look at the picture if I need help.

I pick up my deluxe pumpkin carving knife that has a two inch blade. I plunge it into the pumpkin and begin sawing out the first eye. The knife blade is not quite long enough to penetrate through the thick shell.

I will have to use a longer knife to finish this job. With loving hands I continue on, sawing and shaping the face of my creation. As I am rounding the mouth, I notice that the blade of my deluxe pumpkin carving knife is no longer visible.

Upon further inspection, I see that it has become dislodged from the handle and is stuck in the corner of the mouth. I can't get a hold of it ,so I use a pair of needle nose pliers to dig it out. I have a visible gouge by the mouth, but that's okay. I'll just make it a little bit bigger.

I was smart in buying the deluxe pumpkin carving set with an extra knife. There is safety in numbers. I carve out the last chunk of pumpkin shell and step back. For some reason it doesn't look quite like the pattern, but I'm sure it will look different when I put a candle in it.

After four painstaking hours my masterpiece is complete. What I have done with these hands even amazes me. I can't wait to show it off to my kids.

When nightfall comes, I place a candle in my jack-o-lantern and turn the lights off. I fire it up and step back to watch the glow illuminate what will surely be the finest pumpkin I have ever carved.

Wait a minute. There's something terribly wrong here. This face looks nothing like the picture. It looks like it's backwards. Apparently I carved out all the areas that weren't supposed to be. My jack-o-lantern looks more like a Picasso-abstract and bizarre!

I turn on the lights and blow out the candle. I don't think I can salvage this one. I come to the conclusion that this pumpkin will make equally good pies, so into the oven it goes.

I went right back to the grocery and bought the biggest pumpkin I could find. Nothing is going to stop me from carving a fabulous pumpkin this year. It's like the quest for the holy grail. After finishing the second one, I lit it and stood back in awe.

This was truly the best jack-o-lantern I have ever done. It will be displayed proudly on my front porch October 31st if you would like to come see it. You'll recognize it by the triangle eyes, nose and smiling mouth with no teeth.

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Showing 1 of 1 comments

Submitted By: Michael Rule

posted on 10/9/2007 @ 6:54:20 AM

Rated Story

You took me back to my early days in Michigan, when each of us kids would get our own to carve. Mine always ended up similar to what you describe your as, except I always managed a tooth or two......LOL

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Connie Massa

Castle Rock , CO

Connie Massa has posted 27 stories and 3 comments since joining on 10/2/2007. Connie Massa 's average story rating is 4.95.

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