Article Contributed on: 6/28/2009 10:10:39 PM
It's official - Unplugged has been born. It wasn't your typical morning sickness, ice cream craving, hormonal frenetic nine months. Instead it was a mere 12 weeks and my tailbone not my water broke! My first pregnancy was a dream- I lost weight, never had even a touch of morning sickness and was spared all labor pains with a last minute c-section. So, I suppose it seems only fair that my own rebirth should be a bit Linda Blair like.
Twelve weeks ago as I sat freezing in the barn on a metal folding chair I was riveted by the
Castle Rock 'n' Rollers who at that time I learned had only been skating for four months and some even less than that. I remember thinking about how fast they skated, how some were younger and some even looked to be my age (41), how they didn't look mean or scary or even cold in their short skirts and fishnets and knee highs. They looked like the real women I would come to know as mothers, daughters, small business owners, stay at home moms, volunteers, and friends. They fell, some small (I would later learn that this means in a controlled and forward manner) and some wildly landing on their bum and with a pain I would soon know all too well. But they got up (within three seconds) and were back skating as though the audible fall on the cold, hard concrete had been nothing. These women were amazing. They had strength and power and personality and resolve and they skated in cute outfits that reminded me of my punk high school wardrobe. I wondered if there was inside me a woman who could skate.
I guess you could say the immaculate conception happened just then. I left the fairgrounds that evening with a skater contract and a list of where to purchase skates and pads. More than that I left with a feeling in my gut that I was ready for this. The ensuing weeks were not easy but they were and continue to be humbling, challenging and the most fun I have ever had. I came to practice and wore an orange mesh tank to identify me as a "skater tot", one NOT to be hit or blocked. I skated counter clockwise at the outside of the track in my tank and fell (the wild kind) and fell and fell. Who was I kidding? The last time I had been on skates was in College (almost 20 years ago when I took an ice skating class with my roommate) and before then it was middle school skate nights. But I was encouraged by the friendly girls who assured me that they were just like me when they started, too. Really? Although I didn't believe it I kept skating thinking that if I could just remember how to do crossovers this would get easier. Skating did get easier but then the girls wanted me to skate faster and keep up with a pace line and "whip" and "chase the tail" and block and hit and skate backwards and do these things called mohawks while I was on roller skates - you got to be kidding. It was about this time when I broke my tailbone, began sleeping with a heating pad, popping ibuprofen and showing up at work in various shades of black and blue.
There were nights I left practice in tears. I never knew your fingertips could bruise or that a 110 lb blocker could knock me off my skates with a legal hit to boot. There were nights I couldn't fall asleep due to pain and mornings when I was too sore to train. I contemplated quitting and put off buying real skates. I convinced myself that the triathlon I was training for was here first and that I should at least stop derby until after that. My parents were crazy hysterical that I would do this - how irresponsible of me being a single mother and all. My boyfriend and the boys at work decided I could using the broken tailbone as a "season ending injury" and come back strong next year. But I always found myself back at practice and then purchasing new Ridell'sand a bum saver from Sin City Skates.
I still had to take my skills test before I could get a derby name and be eligible to play in a bout so you see I couldn't give it up, couldn't get it out of my system - I was the proverbial turkey in the oven whose thermometer hadn't yet popped. But I was scared. I still wasn't as fast as the other girls. The hardest part of the skills test for me was going to be the 5 laps in one minute and 20 laps in 5 minutes - in my opinion way worse than labor pains!
Deliverance finally came on 6/22/2009. It was hotter than you know what and the thought of practicing in the barn that had had all day toabsorb the hot Colorado rays in its metal siding was about enough to make me chicken out. Instead I decided I wouldn't wear my bum saver that night as the pads cause me to sweat profusely leaving huge wet marks (gross) on the cement floor when I get up from stretching. At least I wouldn't look like I was wearing adult diapers when coach told me I didn't pass the speed test.
It turns out I was saved this time, too. Not by a last minute c-section but by what I can only describe as the grace of God who had apparently planned that I would be a derby girl even after I doubted it. And that's how Unplugged, a card carrying USARS (USA Roller Sports) insured derby girl was born. Unfortunately the only pic I have of her is of the bruise made when she fell hard cursing all the way down about the bum saver she left at home...