When we looked at homes in Douglas County, Colorado, in 2005, wildlife was emphasized as a reason to live here. Creatures are abundant in our neighborhood, Castle Pines Village, which is only a stone's throw from a wild animal preserve.

The first day we lived in Douglas County, we saw bunnies hopping around our new home's yard, happily munching our grass to the roots, and we said, "Awwww."

The second day, garter snakes slithered in and out and all around our very own stand of scrub oaks out back. When we called authorities, they assured us garter snakes are harmless. They have every right to inhabit our yard. We said as convincingly as we could, "Welcome, snakes!"

Day Three we were awakened by a hoo, hoo, hoo outside our bedroom window. A huge owl sat high in a tree near our bedroom and serenaded us all night. We said, "A good night's rest would be nice, but isn't an owl a wonder!"

Day Four my sons ran inside to say two giant buck deer were loitering beside our house. They were pooping, too. We grabbed our camera so we could share our Douglas County wildlife experience with friends. We decided we'd clean up the scat later.

The next day, our neighbor called to say a mountain lion had sauntered across her backyard. Had we seen it? We had not and we were secretly glad. The neighbor sounded upset, but we were sure she was overcome with the joys of living amidst Douglas County wildlife and we said, "Should we be afraid?"

Soon after, we were late getting our sons to school because elk, lots and lots of them, were standing in the road. We honked. We shouted. They stood motionless. We found beauty in the moment, knew wildlife has the right of way, and cursed only a little.

A small pack of coyotes began to nap right at our sunny front door. I wondered if they would eat our dogs. I kept the children inside. Authorities said coyotes rarely attack humans and the best way to scare them off is to put rocks inside a can and shake it. I put rocks inside a can and banged myself in the head with it.

To fully enjoy Douglas County outdoors, we decided to cook out and we did, but only after the black bear sniffing around the grill was chased away with...well...our HOA is pretty adamant about residents not shooting at wildlife with BB guns, pellet guns, guns.

Day nine brought the woodpecker. So did days ten through forty. As the sun came up I was sure someone near was firing a machine gun. My first thought was I'd like to borrow it. Then, I realized the ratta-tat-tat-tat-tat (say the tat part loudly and really fast) was coming from our chimney. The sound reverberated down the chimney, through the fireplace, throughout the house. Woodpeckers are endangered and I think I know why.

I checked our CC&R's and found no specific references to throwing rocks at wildlife or spraying them full force with a garden hose. Throwing darts is not specifically prohibited, nor is mace, grenades or traps.

Today they came and took the nice neighbor away. They sedated her because she would not stop singing "lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" as loudly as she could.

The sun shines, bunnies eat our grass, coyotes snooze out front, elk crowd our street, the owl goes hoo. Ratta-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat (say the tat part fast and loud) starts again.

Now, what did I do with that slingshot?

Disclaimer: Wildlife in Douglas County are abundant and wonderful. I am genuinely thankful for them and would never suggest harm, even for the woodpeckers. Ratta-tat-tat-tat.