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Blog Entry 115 of 128 Buzz by Barbara
I think about a lot of things. I have opinions about most. What good are thoughts and opinions when not shared? I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours. Issues related to education really get me going. I love to dine on the hot potatoes of school accountability, standardized testing, corporal punishment in schools (outlawed in only about 28 states), scrutiny of school staff before hiring, teacher performance standards, and the weeding out of bad apples in education. I promote fitness as the miracle drug most of us seek. No pill will duplicate the health benefits of working our bodies. I strongly support the adage, "Don't breed or buy while shelter animals die." The world does not need more puppies or kittens. A visit to a local shelter is proof. I consider myself schooled in basic personal money management, the entrepreneurial spirit, domestic adoption, motherood in middle age, Baby Boomer issues, Southern culture, and how to cook a meal in twenty minutes. Whew. So, where shall we start?

What does hitting children teach?
Contributed by: Barbara Neff   on 4/7/2008

Hardly a day goes by local news does not include at least one story of a teacher, coach, member of the clergy or some other adult with access to children sexually preying on them.

A 33-year-old man with a history of assaulting boys was recently employed as an after-school program worker at a Lakewood recreation center, which begs the question. What sort of screening and hiring practices do they, or any entity in the business of granting adults access to children, utilize?

The pedophile, Michael DiPalma, will go to prison this time for luring an 8-year-old boy from the Lakewood rec center to his car and "spanking" the boy's bare buttocks.

Twenty-two states have failed to outlaw corporal punishment in their schools, giving the green light to perverts and predators who might be employed in them to act out their darkest fantasies, at least up to a point. The problem with predators is that they often have a very tough time staying on this side of the line between legally striking children and taking violence to a further, more satisfying level.

Debates rage these days about corporal punishment in schools and homes. Many, particularly in the so-called Bible Belt of the United States, stand staunchly behind the practice of striking children, often claiming it is religion-sanctioned and more. Many believe in the absence of adult-on-child violence, there is no such thing as discipline and a child will not understand consequences.

Proponents of striking the buttocks of children loathe admitting the sexual component for both perpetrators and victims. They need only minimally research to find a huge body of evidence supporting theories that buttock-spanking is frequently eroticized by victims, which can lead to a variety of fetishes, sexual perversion and sexual dysfunction. As with many forms of violence, victims are also at risk for growing into perpetrators.

According to news reports, Michael DiPalma denies wrongdoing. He stands by his actions and insists his assaults on young boys were nothing more than his "losing it" and administering "discipline". This is the scariest sort of predator, the sort who sees himself as being pushed into bad behavior and victims as having asked for it.

I wonder how Michael DiPalma developed his fetish for striking bare buttocks of pre-pubescent boys. I wonder where such a barbaric practice first became known to him. Who taught him that striking the bare buttocks of a child is good for the child and that adults have the right, indeed obligation, to assault a defenseless child in such a manner? Who introduced Michael DiPalma to his sexual perversion?

I'm betting I could guess.

James Dobson and other high profile posers as childrearing experts sometimes encourage parents and other authority figures to hit children. Oh, sure. They insist there are right ways and wrong ways to administer the blows. Rules for hitting cover such areas as how often, how hard, with which instruments, on which parts of little bodies, for which offenses and even hitter frame of mind (i.e., never in anger). But, when it comes to violence, doesn't only one rule really make sense? Don't.




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Showing 1-10 of 13 comments
Submitted By: Barbara Neff
posted on 4/21/2008 @ 12:52:37 PM
(Not Rated)
Stan, yes, society has too long looked the other way when children are sexual prey, particularly male children. I am not saying hitting people, including children, is not quickly effective in altering behavior in the short term. My question is....at what expense?
Submitted By: Barbara Neff
posted on 4/21/2008 @ 12:50:21 PM
(Not Rated)
From The Week magazine March 28, 2008 The roots of S&M Kids who are regularly spanked grow up into adults who are aroused by sadomasochistic sex, says a new study. University of New Hampshire sociologist Murray Straus asked 14,000 college students about their current sexual habits and their parents' methods of discipline when they were children. Straus found that the adults who got the most spankings as children were the ones who were most turned on by risky or sadomasochistic sex. They were the group most likely to forgo condoms, coerce their partners, and cross the line between consensual sex and date rape. When a child is repeatedly hit by his parents, Straus tells the Concord, NH, Monitor, "love and violence get linked" in the brain, "and that gets acted out in sex." April 30 is SpankOut Day USA. Jimmy Dunne People Opposed to Paddling Students, Houston see www.nospankingzone.org
Submitted By: Stan Dyer
posted on 4/18/2008 @ 3:27:55 PM
Rated Blog Entry
I am torn on this one. On one hand, I could never condone striking another person in the name of discipline, but, on the other hand, I know my mom's belt sure kept me in line. I hope I never have to make that decision. As for pedophilia, Ill never understand that, but I will always find it peculiar that society seems to believe it is acceptable, to an extent, for an older woman to engage a boy or younger man, but finds it horribly shocking when an older man stalks a younger girl. When most people think of pedophilia, the vision that comes into their minds is of a man assaulting a girl. Mothers, you need to be just as vigilant of the women in your boys' lives as you are of the men in your girls' lives.
Submitted By: Barbara Neff
posted on 4/12/2008 @ 8:36:22 AM
(Not Rated)
Belinda, are you quoting Alice Miller? In raising our children do we teach them, maybe first and foremost, how to be parents? I hope my sons, should they become fathers, are good parents to my grandchildren.
Submitted By: Belinda Wall
posted on 4/11/2008 @ 10:54:50 AM
Rated Blog Entry
A well-known author, philosopher and humanitarian wrote "A good, stable adult with love and tolerance in his heart is about the best therapy a child can have." We are creating our future leaders. I've successfully raised five sane adults with the above philosophy, not spanking with any instruments, not even my hand.
Submitted By: Barbara Neff
posted on 4/8/2008 @ 9:03:45 AM
(Not Rated)
mick, i hear you. i will not stand before you and say i never struck my sons. i will say those moments hang in my memory like thorns and i knew beyond all doubt striking my beloved children who trusted me and for whose safety i was responsible was wrong in the most dispicable of ways. no more hitting in our house.
Submitted By: Barbara Neff
posted on 4/8/2008 @ 8:57:41 AM
(Not Rated)
nadine, what an honor to have you stop in! readers might want to check out you and all you do to end adult-on-child violence. Center for Effective Discipline, www.stophitting.com
Submitted By: nadine block
posted on 4/8/2008 @ 8:46:24 AM
Rated Blog Entry
Ohio is one of the states which still permits hitting children with boards in schools. HB 406 which would completely end it is languishing in the Ohio House Education Committee despite a great deal of support. What does hitting children in schools teach children? It teaches violence and is a prime example of bullying.
Submitted By: Michael Rule
posted on 4/8/2008 @ 7:53:51 AM
Rated Blog Entry
And I believe I made the right decision. As for pedophiles, they disgust me.
Submitted By: Michael Rule
posted on 4/8/2008 @ 7:51:43 AM
Rated Blog Entry
This is a tough one. i was raised by a dad who belived in "the belt". I remember giving my son a spanking when he was about 3. I'd spank, he'd say "doesn't hurt". Then and there I decided no more striking my child, and I never did again.
Showing 1-10 of 13 comments
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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Barbara Neff

Castle Rock , CO

Barbara Neff has posted 128 blog entries and 820 comments since joining on 9/14/2005. Barbara Neff 's average blog rating is 4.97.
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