This at Home Dad has been working with my five-year-old son for about a year now, and today I think he got it.

We have been going round and round with him being mean to his mom, his friends or me and then saying "sorry", it's all better now. It has always worked for him in the past to smooth things over but not tonight.

He and Trevor were playing when it turned into a wrestling match, then he hit Trevor and followed it with a not so genuine "sorry".

Too late, the pain had been inflicted and Trevor was lying under him crying. Not tears from pain, but more of a frustrated "I can't move" whimper from being pinned. I got my son to let him up and I helped Trevor up, he was smiling and laughing by this point as I redirected his attention to Scooby Doo on TV, he went to the couch and watched it intently.
I turned my focus on my instigator son, and asked him what happened and why he did it, even though I knew.

He gives me a this or that reason why they were fighting followed by "but I said I was sorry". I said I am sure you were but that does not fix what you did. "Yes it does" he squeaked lamely as a reply. I said no, it does not; you are bigger than he is and you hurt him, saying "sorry" does not make the hurt go away. At this point, he broke down in a full-blown hard cry as he sprinted off for the safe confines of his room.

I went up to his room where he was buried into the corner near the window under his sleeping bag and I continued to try to explain to him, if you hurt somebody the pain does not go away by saying "I 'm Sorry". His heaving sobs were under control now and he was actually listening to me when Trevor, who followed me upstairs came in and tried to get him to play, I heard a genuine " sorryTrevor" and all was good as they became friends again and went down to watch the end of Scooby.

Diplomatic Policy by an At Home Dad snuffs yet another hot spot out, and I am glad it happened, not for Trevor's sake, but mine, I was almost to the point of inflicting a throbbing pain to my son and then saying "sorry" to him. "See it doesn't hurt anymore does it, because I said sorry."

I am so glad it did not come to that and we got another real life experience to relate it too!