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The name game (soon-to-be parents, please read)
Contributed by: Anthonette Klinkerman on 1/29/2007

I looked. Believe me. It was never there. My name, that is, on little plastic state license plates in the airport, or on key chain fobs, or anywhere in the assortment of personalized items one can find. The closest I ever got was in the boys' name section: " Anthony". When you're nine years old, for some reason these kinds of things leave a lasting impression. I wanted so badly to find my name there one day, to reassure me that I wasn't that different from all of my friends with their more common names.

For reasons that still aren't quite clear, my parents got a little crazy naming their three daughters. Each of us has an "-ette" at the end of our names. My brother, being the first child, got off easy. His name is readily found on a tiny license plate in the "S" section. For us three girls, the jokes, as you can imagine, were freely forthcoming: "Where's your other sister, Launderette?" "How come your brother isn't Stevette? Har-har." I think after the quadrillionth time hearing that I was ready to head down to the courthouse to legally change my name. At twelve.

I feel for kids who have unusual names. As an adult, an out of the ordinary name still causes some discomfort in social situations, though new acquaintances always compliment it. But in school, when fitting in is a "must", it's one more obstacle. Perhaps in elementary school I missed recess quite often, sitting in a tiny plastic chair, trying to finish printing my name while my classmates, long finished with theirs, headed out into the sunshine. If this was the case, I've successfully repressed that memory.

My mom did do her best to placate my sisters and me by spending a small fortune on personalizing everything she could through catalogue orders. To this day I still have my knit Christmas stocking and several ornaments with all ten letters of my name in tact.

On almost every form I have to fill out I lose about two to four letters. I seriously doubt I'm the only person out there with a ten-letter-long first name. (Honestly, what's the big deal in adding a few more boxes?) I'm positive my mother heard "Spell that again?" over the phone at least two out of three orders. For this reason, I never give my full name at Rubio's. I'm a pragmatic " Toni" as I'm not about to confuse the poor cashier so much that there goes the rest of my order.

My sisters also use a pseudonym in these environs. We discovered this one day when berating our parents for condemning us to a lifetime of explanations and lame remarks.

Strangely enough, I still get people trying to correct my spelling. I'm pretty sure that after 30-plus years I'm getting my own name right. Do-gooder efforts include " Antoinette," " Antonette," " Antwoinette," or my personal favorite, "Anjeanette". Even the bank I've been with for six years decided on my new checks I should be " Amthonette." I always explain, "Anthony with an '-ette' instead of a 'y'. Yes, you pronounce the 'th'," and yet my name still gets mutilated. It has gotten to the point where I enthusiastically praise those who get it right on the first attempt.

Go figure, the one day I met another " Anthonette" I was completely incensed. How dare someone else has my name! She, too, went by "Toni" for the sake of ease. Who knows; we could have been great friends, but there was immediate tension in the room as if we were both thinking the same thing: I thought I was the only one. Clearly, each of us was now old enough to appreciate our outstanding names, and therefore felt it a personal affront to meet up with another.

When it came time to marry, I chose a German. I had to keep the ten-letter thing going, I guess. Those boxes on application forms don't stand a chance.

Sadly, the cycle continues with my child. I spared her from the "-ette" syndrome, but decided upon an unusual spelling of "Madeline". I've already checked with the airport gift shop - no dice. History does repeat itself after all. One day she may be lambasting me for all the people who can't spell her name correctly. Personalizers, here I come.



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Showing 1-2 of 2 comments
Submitted By: Anthonette Klinkerman
posted on 1/29/2007 @ 6:47:06 PM
(Not Rated)
With a name like mine, I couldn't get away with anything! I've been known to retort when people asked if it was my real name, "You think I'd make that up?"
[Report as objectionable]
Submitted By: Daniel Smith
posted on 1/29/2007 @ 5:38:34 PM
Rated Story
Great posting - tell you sometime about all the Smith name jokes motel clerks are so fond of telling...
[Report as objectionable]
Showing 1-2 of 2 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Anthonette Klinkerman

Castle Pines North

Anthonette Klinkerman has posted 70 stories and 42 comments since joining on 4/14/2006. Anthonette Klinkerman 's average story rating is 4.94.
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