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Toilet Humor

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Contributed by: Jared Keller on 2/22/2006

While I've frequently written of the trials, travails, and triumphs of parenting a two year-old, one particular aspect of toddlerhood had flown just under my radar, allowing me - for the briefest of moments - to convince myself that my lovely bride and I had this developmental stage whipped.

Then came The Potty.

Yep. The Potty. Gone are the days when I could simply say "bathroom", or even "toilet". Now, it's "all-potty, all-the-time".

This most mundane and unspeakable of the indoor plumbing fixtures is now perhaps the most frequently discussed topic being bandied about in our house at any given time, with the possible exception of "big girl" underwear featuring the likeness of Elmo.

Functions of the human body that, while perfectly normal and healthy, don't make for pleasant dinner conversation are now described in minute detail - and with great enthusiasm - by both my wife and I. While these conversations must seem rather strange to our "non-kidded" friends, they are an absolutely pivotal part of the parenting process. After all...how else is she going to get one of those stickers?

"Stickers?" You ask? Oh, you're not "hep" to the hyper competetive world of suburban parenting, are you? Well, it's like this, see: Each Sunday, as we drop off our little girl at Sunday School, there are two types of parents present. The first group - smug, self-satisfied, and ultimately sure of their superior parenting skills - have embarked upon the journey of potty training, and have progressed far enough that the Sunday School teachers bestow upon their children oval shaped stickers that read "Potty Training in Progress", indicating that these Special children will need to be taken to the potty at some point during the service, while the rest of us (the second group) must stand by as our urchins marinate in their own um...byproducts. Well, I don't have to tell you that "The Sticker" is clearly indicative - much as would be a child's acceptance to Harvard to Stanford - of parents who are truly involved with, and intutive in nurturing their children, and in addition, helps to reveal a child's native intelligence and curiosity. From Dr. Alan Greene, M.D., of the aptly-named DrGreene.com:

Children have a deep, urgent desire for growth and mastery. They would love to be able to poop on the toilet like their parents, like their teachers, like their friends. This longing is profound, and will win out in the end.

Who doesn't want growth and mastery for their kids?

So, as you can see, our newly minted efforts to potty train our toddler daughter are the result of a truly profound desire to see her grow and succeed - confident in both her own abilities and self-worth, and able to confidently choose her life's path for herself.

Oh, who am I kidding? We're just tired of changing diapers.

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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Jared Keller

Littleton

Jared Keller has posted 450 stories and 62 comments since joining on 12/1/2005. Jared Keller 's average story rating is 4.85.

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