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‘Tis the time for revolt, brothers!
Contributed by: Ryan Rhodes on 5/17/2006

Friends, peers, fellow adolescent males, lend me your ears, for our time has come! It is time to throw off the sexist chains that bind us and stand free and independent.

Yes, we must break free of the chivalric notions of our nation, and stand on equal footing with women, who have fought free of oppression themselves. It is now our time to break free from these archaic notions that prevent us from truly enjoying the freedom that our female peers already possess. We must gain the right to equality in our relationships!

For too long have we been expected to be perfect gentlemen, not only driving, but paying exclusively for expensive meals and movie tickets, as well as buying excessively expensive gifts at the whim of our female companions. Checking in with our significant other at minimum every 20 minutes and calling at least twice before and ( AND!) after school.

What's next? Will we expect to be at their beck and call at all hours of the day? Can we expect to have to massage our female compatriots' primly manicured (if we're lucky) feet? At what point will we draw the line and call for the insanity to end?

It is inevitable that we would be thrown a bone. After all, all despots and tyrants must keep the subjects of their absolute power and might at least moderately content. This new girls-ask dance (which is incidentally only semi-formal, and therefore cheaper) is simply another diabolical scheme in order to move us to complacency, to soothe our rightful desire to revolt against their oppression.

It is a concerted effort driven by some great feminist society intent upon bringing about some great Amazonian dystopia (or perhaps I'm just crying havoc a little early). But it must be said that the entirety of the situation reeks of the Machiavellian mindset. It is obvious it is their intent to grind us down and subjugate us until we are little better then slaves whose sole purpose is their instant gratification.

We have to stand up against this indignity. That we are subject to such horrid insult is simply not proper!

So now is our time, we must fight the good fight, and retake a position on equal footing, rather then being ground under the oppression of their high-heeled might. But in order to do so, we must not falter, we cannot give in to our basic instincts, and simply pay for what they ask. For it is from those slight oppressions (such as forcing us to pay for every possible expense imaginable) that grow into greater oppressions.

The horror that is prom, there is nothing else that needs be said, simply look at the number of males suffering permanent psychiatric damage after surviving this apocalyptic fiend. And from there who knows what new and terrifying methods of tortuous servitude.

This is a call for the greater good of all of male humanity! It is time, now, to act, we must go now on strike, no longer shall we play the role of chivalrous courtier, and no longer will we be the exclusive source of all entertainment.

This is our time, and we as males must rise to the occasion!

Ryan Rhodes, of Castle Rock, is a 17-year-old junior at Rock Canyon High School in Highlands Ranch.


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Showing 1-2 of 2 comments
Submitted By: Michael Rule
posted on 5/16/2006 @ 7:10:39 PM
Rated Story
Ryan, Good job! Your voice speaks out from the ages.........
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Submitted By: R Schuckman
posted on 5/16/2006 @ 2:02:05 PM
(Not Rated)
Sorry young one, but white males still earn about 50% that above white womena and the percentage is even greater with minorities, so if you want equality, you better take a cut in pay. Also, if you want to win a woman over (or male depending on your sexual preference), you better be willing to impress, or you will be sad and alone!
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Showing 1-2 of 2 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Ryan Rhodes

Castle Rock , CO

Ryan Rhodes has posted 1 story and 0 comments since joining on 5/12/2006. Ryan Rhodes 's average story rating is 4.8.
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