In the early 1960's, 17 percent of all mothers with newborns returned to work by the 12 month. Today over half of all American women with a child under 1 year of age are in the labor force. While not all of these moms are working 40-hour weeks, over 26 million mothers are attempting to balance the demands of work and family.

But are work and family truly things that we can balance? I urge working moms, and dads for that matter, to avoid the image of striving for work and family balance. I prefer to talk of navigating work and family.

The term balance gives the impression that everything is equal all of the time when in reality life is seldom balanced in that respect. The image of navigation communicates the idea that there are ebbs and flows; there are circumstances that demand specific responses at specific times. One has to make adjustments based on conditions, yet we shouldn't be at the mercy of circumstances. The image of navigation is also helpful because it includes the idea of pursuing an intentional destination. Airline pilots have their destination and coordinates in mind but they are required to make adjustments all along the way because of atmospheric conditions. They same holds true for working moms (and dads).

There are two concepts that continue to come up in the research that moms who successfully navigate work and family issues practice. They "build a home team" and they don't totally separate work and family.

Building a home team is both a strategy and a mentality. Often there isn't a one time solution to work and family issues. Circumstances change, sometimes from week to week. Mom's who handle these changes well have a "Home Team" so to speak of individuals who support them and are there to help as needed. So, maybe your mother-in-law is part of your home team because she comes over every Friday and takes the kids out for ice cream. Maybe you have a child care center that is the primary home team from 7:00 in the morning to 5:00 at night, and within that center there's a changing group of players there as well. Maybe there's a neighbor who can help you in a pinch if your kid needs to be picked up at school-there's another member of the home team. The more you can set it up and say "May I count on you in an emergency?" the more the neighbor will think of him or herself as part of your home team. And of course enlisting dad and the kids to help with more of the household chores is a great asset for any team. Let your "network" know how important they are to your "home team." One way to do this is to occasionally send a card or a note saying, "Thanks for being a part of the team of family and friends who help us help (insert child's name) succeed! I appreciate you!"

Another helpful concept is the idea of fusing or blending one's home and work lives together at certain points. Fusion is the idea that at the end of the day you shouldn't have to go into a phone booth and turn into a different person! Carol Evans in her book, THIS is How We Do It: The Working Mothers' Manifesto, recommends that moms (and dads for that matter) go home at the end of the day and talk about work in a positive manner in front of their children and then go to the office and speak with their boss and their co-workers in a positive way about their home life. This way, each side gradually gets to know the other-your co-workers know your family, your family knows about your job. In your own mind, you're blending the two together in a way that's much more realistic-there's no separation between the two worlds, it's all in there together. Then, say your daughter has a long illness and you need to take care of her. Because you've been talking about her positively with your co-workers, they've built up a positive feeling about her. At home, if you start to have some pressure at work, your family understands what's going on; it's not out of context. Fusion allows for a better navigation all around; you're not lurching, you're smoothly flowing from one to the other. This benefits both mom and the workplace because work is a holistic part of her life.

Navigating the demands of work and family can be trying at times, but most moms are doing a great job! They derive tremendous satisfaction from their work, are strong role models for their kids and realize that to succeed they can't and shouldn't do it alone. Building a "home team" and approaching work and family holistically are two navigational tools that help moms and dads reach the desired destination of a meaningful and productive family.