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Coming to grips with an approaching milestone
Contributed by: Anthonette Klinkerman on 2/5/2008

The idea of a mid-life crisis had always been an amusing one to me, until recently. Those suffering from one were easy to spot - a bunch of silicone here, a bald pate in a Ferrari there... I thought I would be immune to the pressures of turning a certain age, but as it turns out, other people may be responsible for triggering mid-life crises.

A stray comment makes its way into the brain, and from there, denial. "I'm not (fill in the blank for your age). There's no way I'm (40, 50, 60...)."

Mine was the word "matronly". I am technically a matron by this definition: "a woman, especially a married woman of middle age or later, who has had children and is thought of as being mature, sensible, and of good social standing."

I like the last part best. "Middle age", not so much.

Matronly is the kind of word, however, that can only be taken as an insult. Someone needs to come up with something PC and cool.

These aren't: mature, advanced, seasoned... That last one just sounds stupid, like some spice packet you find in a clearance bin.

A hairstylist nearly forfeited her tip for using this word to remark about my hair. What she didn't know was she was commenting on the work of a previous stylist at her same trendy-but-affordable salon. (And we all know I have enough hair issues.)

"Then fix it," I said flatly.

Did that word apply to my overall look, too? Almost instantaneously I started picturing myself in sports cars, getting "some work done", donning tragically hip clothes, and getting carded everywhere I went.

It wasn't that long ago that I was denied playing Monopoly at McDonald's because the cashier didn't believe I was 18. I was 24 at the time, and didn't have a driver's license on me that day to prove it.

Little by little, the "carding" stopped. I started asking if people wanted to see it. When the response was "No, that's okay," I knew my age was finally beginning to show.

I shouldn't complain because I have made it this far in life without making any insurmountable mistakes. That feat in itself deserves a better title than "aged" or "experienced". If that's not a dubious term, I don't know what is.

What about "iMatron"?

The computer's thesaurus wasn't any help, particularly the "not getting any younger" bit. And I'm certainly not going to announce proudly, as if all of society will eventually believe it, that "40 is the new 30". 40 is 40, folks; middle age. Not that many of us are going to live to 100, so though I'm no math wizard, 40 is right about there in the middle.

Oops, the cat's out of the bag. (I still have a few more months, so don't bust out the cupcakes yet.)

Either way, ask me for my ID next time I see you and exclaim, "I don't believe it!" You'll make my day and keep your tip.




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Showing 1-3 of 3 comments
Submitted By: Anthonette Klinkerman
posted on 2/19/2008 @ 8:19:41 AM
(Not Rated)
Right on, Karin!
[Report as objectionable]
Submitted By: Karin Malchow
posted on 2/18/2008 @ 4:12:08 PM
Rated Story
A couple of us matrons were at a bar last week, where the door guy stamped our hands without looking at our IDs. I said, "Since you can tell without checking, can't the wait staff?"
[Report as objectionable]
Submitted By: Joseph Kirchmer
posted on 2/5/2008 @ 12:26:04 PM
Rated Story
Good tip.
[Report as objectionable]
Showing 1-3 of 3 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Anthonette Klinkerman

Castle Pines North

Anthonette Klinkerman has posted 70 stories and 42 comments since joining on 4/14/2006. Anthonette Klinkerman 's average story rating is 4.94.
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