Dear Coach Greg: The holiday season is rapidly approaching and once again I'm panicking on what to buy my wife for Christmas (and in 2 months Valentine's Day). It was easier when we were dating and during the early years of marriage. I'd buy her some jewelry or a HOT negligee (from which I also benefited), but lately I've run out of ideas and I'm starting to panic. I would like to go someplace special or do something FUN rather than stress over buying the "perfect gift". And I don't want to be one of those guys who waits until Dec. 24 (or Feb. 14) with the mall closing and I still don't have anything purchased! Please help husbands (and boyfriends) everywhere with this annual frustration.
Lacking The Creative Gene
Dear Lacking: Try not to underestimate your creative side. You once had lots of new and exciting gift ideas. Those days will return with a little advance preparation, rather than waiting for last minute inspiration to pull you out of desperation. First, get two 3 by 5" index cards and write down a few gift ideas you would like to receive from your wife; special places/fun activities you would like to spend the next holiday or gift giving event (i.e. - birthdays,
gregrthiel@comcast.net anniversary, etc.). Consider a few inexpensive practical ideas (i.e. - favorite brew, sporting gear, etc.) as well as some moderately priced FUN ideas (i.e. - sporting event/concert tickets, the latest technology, etc.). Five your completed index card to your wife, after sharing a nice dinner, then ask her to share her thoughts on what she'd like to receive on the other index card (get her ideas in writing because you know you'll forget them before tomorrow). Second, categorize her list of ideas by matching her gift ideas with each holiday and gift giving occasion. Some gifts can be purchased in advance and then given to her later in the year when you are busy with work. Also, use her ideas as a guideline on purchases she would like to receive along with your spontaneous ideas when the creative gene reappears. Lastly, enjoy the "brownie points" you'll receive for soliciting her opinions, giving some advance thought into buying her gifts, and for making another attempt to "reconnect" with her by initiating thoughtful conversation.
Happy Holidays from my family to yours!
For additional relationship resources for couples:
1. visit:
www.RelationshipCoach.us, then click on Upcoming Workshops -
Four Hours to a Happier Relationship, choose a date, then register;
2.read the following relationship books:
1,001 Ways to be Romantic by G. Godec, and
Light Her Fire by E. Kreidman;
3. for monthly relationship support and interaction with like minded couples visit:
www.RelationshipCoach.us, then click on Services Offered -
Starting a Couples' Support Group.
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