Article Contributed on: 4/26/2006 10:17:42 AM
In this column, readers from all over write in to ask our
featured advice columnist pressing questions about a very
specialized field. Whether they hope to resolve a dilemma or find a
way out of their quandaries and quagmires, they get their answers
here. Today we are proud to feature
Ian Nelson, a Las Vegas, Nevada resident
specializing in coat hangers.
Dear Ian,
The other day I was walking along and someone came up to me
and offered to sell me a "bushel of coat hangers" for $10. Is this
a good deal?
-Sam Paulson
Elk Grove, IL
Dear Sam,
There are a lot of shady types out there offering what they
call "great deals" on coat hangers. Sometimes coat hangers may be
bought for cheap on the black market, but one must be
wary--especially when it comes to bushels. In the past, bushels
have been packed in strict accordance with the standards set forth
by the Coat Hanger Bushel Packing Association (CHBPA), of which I
am a lifetime member. This work was done by bushel-packing experts,
and is a task not to be attempted by the faint of heart. Unless you
know the person selling the bushel, and have examined his or her
credentials, it is quite possible that you will end up with a
bushel of rather crappy coat hangers, which in some extreme cases,
won't even hang.
Dear Ian,
I only have one coat hanger, but I own several hundred
articles of clothing. Approximately how many garments can be hung
on one coat hanger before it breaks?
-Joanna Willard
Cranford, NJ
Dear Joanna,
I will admit that back in my college days, I frequently found
myself more than one coat hanger short. In my fraternity house, my
frat brothers would constantly be pilfering my coat hangers, and at
one point, I think I had 2/3 of all my shirts on one hanger. Of
course, I only owned 3 shirts, but it still made the situation a
little hairy at times, especially when I was in a hurry and had to
rummage through my closet to find a good shirt to wear.
Dear Ian,
A few years ago, just for grins, I stuck a feather in my hat
and called it macaroni. Can this be done with a coat hanger?
-Peter Yee
Dallas, TX
Dear Peter,
It depends on what kind of a hat you wear. For example, a
beret might not be strong enough to support an entire coat hanger.
But a ballcap or top hat would probably work. Consider also, the
material the coat hanger is made of. A wire hanger would probably
produce the best results, whereas a wooden hanger might cause
people to stare.
Dear Ian,
My husband was hanging up some clothes the other day and when
I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "oh, just hanging
around." Should I put up with this type of humor?
-Madeline Summer
Cody, WY
Dear Madeline,
Let it go this once, but never again.
From the author: This advice column is a feature from
The Teaspoon Times, a
small print publication I started in 2004, and distributed in
coffee shops around town. Now you can visit online at
teaspoontimes.com. I hope you have as much fun reading them as I do
writing them!