I catch a glimpse of the front of my gray fleece shirt in the kitchen window sunlight and it is covered with yellow dog hair. Normally, I would take a wet cloth and wipe it off, but today I take my arms and hug my chest. Only a few hours earlier, I was lying on the floor next to my sweet dog and had wrapped these arms around her dying body. I whispered to her that she had been a good dog, the best dog. I told her that I would always give thanks that she had been in our family's life and that she had taken very good care of us. I stroked her soft coat and kissed her forehead. I told her to remember how fast she could run and how much she loved to play ball. I told her that I would love her always and to come back to me.

The kind veterinarian told us what to expect at every step. She would first give an injection to relax the dog and then give her an intravenous drug to stop her heart. I continued to stroke her fine coat and rub her strong shoulders. I knew the instant that death occurred, "she is gone", I cried. Her body was then relaxed and her eyes were closed. I wanted to stay like that forever, lying next to her warm body. I wanted to continue petting her, to never let go.

My boys wanted to be next to her; to say goodbye again. I slowly got up and walked away, trying to find a comfortable place to stand in the quite room. I heard our other dog being let into the room to visit the body so that she would not search for her in the days to come. When I turned, our girl was being wrapped in a beautiful blanket and was then carried away.

I look up from my shirt, look out the kitchen window. She is there on the hill, watching the field and the road. She is beautiful as she sits: alert, strong and proud. She is waiting to greet each of us as we come home, to let us know that she has missed us no matter how long we have been gone. She is waiting to wrap her love around us, always.

To be told that Abby was dying was devastating. To be able to support her in her death has made the loss a bit easier to manage. City Rover Mobile Veterinary Service responded to our request for home euthanasia within 24 hours and made the experience a comfort. There are other home services available in the Metro area as well. For our family, this was a choice that allowed us to honor our pet.