Every year, the holidays remind us of two fundamentally different philosophies underlying our society - materialism and maternalism. In the former, we are consumed by the need to receive material things (children's toys, those coveted electronic gadgets, money in the form of gift cards, etc.). In the latter, we are compelled to care for others as a mother would for a child. There is a certain self-less, unadulterated quality to this desire. Granted, children are naturally inclined to be self-focused and therefore happier to receive than to give. However, there are still courses of action parents can take to help instill values of giving, love, and respect for one another.

Thus, while many children in homes and stores across the country create increasingly long wish lists filled with the latest gadgets and toys (many of which are not environmentally friendly), you can choose to teach your children something more valuable. With your guidance, they will learn that we are all connected and that concern for the well-being of others not only helps those individual people, but our society as a whole.

Here is what you and your family can do:

· Create a sense of gratitude rather than entitlement
Encourage your children to express what they are thankful for by talking about it, drawing pictures, creating books, taking photos, including what they're thankful for in their prayers, etc. Once they understand what it feels like to be thankful for various things in their lives, they will be able to transfer that knowledge to more philanthropic outlets.

· Turn philanthropy into an everyday occurrence rather than a holiday activity.
Contributing to the community is a responsibility for a lifetime. Laura van Dernoot Lipsky, a Seattle educator and social activist, captures the wisdom of this idea through the experience she had growing up with her mother. "She taught by example and we learned about interdependence, giving, and empathy for others in large part through watching her connect on a daily basis with others through small and basic acts of kindness and a complete resolve for treating others with respect." If you can incorporate this spirit into your everyday, your children will be more likely to follow suit and understand philanthropy as a way of life, not an occasional event.

· Make a philanthropy plan
The sheer amount and variety of opportunities to give can often be overwhelming for many families. How many times can you count being asked by someone on the phone, outside a grocery store or by someone knocking on the door of your home to donate money, sponsor someone, or buy something? And to think that this is only a tiny fraction of the population who is asking for help! Keep in mind as well that there are many people in our world who would benefit from your help, but who are not walking up to you in person at the store or your home. Because many of us live such confined lives - living, working, and playing in a relatively small area of the world - we can often forget that there is so much more out there.

Take the time to decide which issues your family members are most passionate about and make a plan that includes particulars, like how much time, money, or resources you are able to set aside for philanthropy, who you will earmark those resources for, what your timeline will be, and how you will politely decline other pleas for help beyond what you have decided upon as a family.

Creating a philanthropy plan may seem cold and calculated to some, but it is a way to become more thoughtful about how and to whom you give your time, money, and resources. It also does not mean you will never again consider those pleas for help that you declined. Rather, accept information from the solicitor so that you might consider it in your plan for the next year.

Easy ways to get started:

· Donate items
On a regular basis, ask your children to sort through their things and choose an agreed upon number of items to give to local service organizations. Don't forget to do the same yourself! Take care to ensure the items you choose are at least in fair condition, as others won't want or be able to use items in disrepair any more than you or your children do.

· Shop at stores that help support service organizations
Many stores from resale outlets to national chains will provide all or a portion of their proceeds to organizations in need. Places like Goodwill have great bargains while providing education, training, and career services for people with disadvantages. They recycle their profits back into their organization to help even more people. On the other end, national stores like Target donate 5% of their income to support education, social services, and the arts.

· Organize fundraisers
Gather forces with your neighbors, co-workers, fellow students, or members of an organization or club to head a fundraiser in which you collect food, clothing, school supplies, or money to give to a chosen charity. Involve your children by putting them in charge of gathering the donated items from each donation site, sorting, stacking, and separating donations, or enlisting their help in choosing which organization will receive your donations.

As you make plans for creating a giving spirit in your family, remember to share it with others around you. Let them know how they can get involved in your projects or how they might start a few projects of their own. Over the next couple of months, we'll all watch as decorations emerge, calendars fill up with holiday parties, wish lists lengthen, and commercials about shopping saturate our televisions. However appealing all those things seem, remember why we celebrate the holidays in the first place and keep the spirit of giving alive. That's what will truly warm the hearts of those in our community throughout these cold winter months and beyond.

Primrose School Franchising Company, Acworth, GA, is the country's leader in early childhood education. The company currently operates schools in 14 states and has more than 180 locations. The Primrose Balanced Learning ® curriculum combines the two leading philosophies in early childhood education - teacher-directed and child-initiated - with a balance of learning, character development and play. Primrose has been featured on CNN and in The Wall Street Journal, was named No. 1 in growth for 2002 by Child Care Business, has twice been named the top child care franchise by Entrepreneur magazine and was featured by that publication in a 2003 article. Primrose is the first educational child care franchise to receive accreditation from the Commission on International Trans-Regional Accreditation, the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools Commission on Accreditation and School Improvement or the North Central Association Commission on Accreditation and School Improvement. For more information on Primrose Schools, visit www.primroseschools.com.