Eat like a mangetarian: Where to get your meatless comfort food in Denverby
Brendan Leonard/YourHub.com
I am not a restaurant critic.
I am just a guy who quit eating meat a couple of years ago.
I come from Iowa, where potatoes and corn are seen as both vegetables and distractions from the meat on your dinner plate. My dad's meat business put me through college. In my not-so-distant past, I ate a 1 1/3-pound burger in one sitting; another time 27 buffalo wings; still another, a 31-ounce steak.
I like being a vegetarian, but sometimes I miss those "guy foods," the crap that men
| Glossary |
| Seitan (SAY-tahn): A meat substitute derived from wheat gluten. The texture is so similar to meat that my girlfriend, a more pure vegetarian, won't eat it. Tofu: Soft-textured soybean curd. It is widely assumed that vegetarians live on this stuff.
Tempeh (tem-PAY): Fermented soybean cake similar to tofu.
Vegan: Contains no animal products. Vegan ranch, for example, does not include milk. |
eat while watching football games: Wings, burgers, pig and cow parts covered in barbecue sauce, fried things -- foods that you know are not good for you, and that are likely the second-leading cause of a beer belly.
Thankfully, there are some substitutes around the Mile High City. Over the past couple of years, I've found a few "mangetarian" items in area restaurants, from wings to seitan pepperoni pizza, all of which make me feel a little bit fat and disgusting when I'm done eating them. Which, I guess, is what I was after. Sadly, there appears to be no vegetarian substitute for fried chicken gizzards.
Note: I'm using the loosest definition of vegetarian -- I just don't eat meat. Any of the cheese on these items (aside from the items at Watercourse and City, O'City), likely contains rennet, or stomach enzymes from cows. Stricter vegetarians than I should ask before ordering.
Here are my picks. Did I miss something? Post a comment by
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Watercourse Foods 837 E. 17th Ave.
Denver, CO 80218
(
click here for map)
303-832-7313
www.watercoursefoods.com
1) The Big Rig This truck-stop-esque monster isn't on the regular menu, but if you head to Watercourse often enough, you'll eventually be there when this is the breakfast special. A country-fried seitan steak covered in (vegetarian) country gravy, with eggs or scrambled tofu and home fries. If you want to make yourself feel better about all the calories you'll ingest by eating this, plan ahead and ride your bike to the restaurant: Watercourse offers a 10 percent discount for cyclists.
2) Seitan Buffalo WingsWhat appetizer takes you back to the Cro-Magnon days more than buffalo wings? (Okay, maybe the turkey drumsticks they serve at the renaissance festival.) You eat with your hands, rip meat off the bones with your teeth, get really messy, and in the right lighting, you kind of look like you've got blood all over your fingers and mouth. Watercourse's version uses strips of seitan soaked in a totally credible buffalo wing sauce. If you haven't had buffalo sauce in a while, you might be wiping the sweat off your face with your napkins, or drinking the vegan ranch that accompanies the wings.
3) Tempeh Burger "Well, if you like burgers give 'em a try sometime. Me, I can't usually get 'em 'cause my girlfriend's a vegetarian, which pretty much makes me a vegetarian. But I do love the taste of a good burger." -- Jules Winnfield, Pulp Fiction
This is the best non-meat burger in the city, as far as I'm concerned. Some places don't have vegetarian burgers, some places serve Gardenburgers or Boca Burgers, and some places put in the effort and make their own meatless burgers. Watercourse kills it. Get the barbecue. I add a slice of cheddar, fries and the mashed potatoes for a proper pants-unzipping, good ol' (not exactly) meat-and-potatoes meal.
Wolfe's Barbeque333 E. Colfax Ave.
Denver, CO 80203
(
click here for map)
303-831-1500
http://wolfesbarbeque.com/
4) BBQ Tofu sandwich Louis Wolfe has been serving vegan tofu and vegan barbecue sauce since shortly after he opened in 1985. You can get it in a dinner plate with two side dishes, three of which are vegan (bbq baked beans, fruit salad, and carrot salad), and two of which are vegetarian (potato salad and cole slaw). If you want a 6-inch or 8-inch sandwich, the bread is also vegan. I love this man.
City, O'City206 E. 13th Ave.
Denver, CO 80203
(
click here for map)
303-831-6443
www.watercoursefoods.com
5) Pepperoni PizzaWhen people ask me if I ever miss meat, I usually say I only miss pepperoni pizza. City, O'City, the new pizza joint/bar in the old Watercourse Foods space, has cured that. They make a pie, the No. 2, that uses seitan pepperoni to get as close as anyone's gotten to my old favorite. With the right attitude, I can almost take out half of the 18-inch pie. Honorable mention goes to the No. 5, with buffalo ranch sauce, roma tomatoes, seitan sausage and mozzarella blend.
Steve's Snappin' Dogs3525 E. Colfax Ave.
Denver, CO 80206
(
click here for map)
303-333-7627
www.stevessnappindogs.com
6) "Vegetarian" hot dogSteve's Snappin' Dogs opened on East Colfax a little more than a year ago, and by now, nearly every media outlet in the city has done a piece on them. Since I have yet to find a downtown hot dog cart that caters to my kind, I was overjoyed to discover that Steve's had a vegetarian hot dog. It's pretty meat-tasting, though, so purer vegetarians might shy away from it. Or cover it in onions.
7) Vegetarian Frito PieI am not a fancy man. I crave not extensive wine lists, cloth napkins, square plates and entrees that look good in photographs. Give me Frito Pie: Bag of Fritos, vegetarian green chili, cheese and jalapenos. Served in the bag. $2.50. Thank you, Steve.
The Irish Snug1201 E. Colfax Ave.
Denver, CO 80218
(
click here for map)
303-839-1394
www.irishsnug.com
8) Spicy Buffalo Waffle ChipsThis is where the list transitions from the restaurants that cater to vegetarians to the restaurants that just happen to have menu items that don't include meat. Waffle fries kick the crap out of any other kind of fried potatoes simply because of their ability to shoulder large volumes of whatever condiment you put on them: ketchup, mayonnaise, nacho cheese, etc. Why not soak them in buffalo sauce? Indeed. The Snug's nachos, made with waffle fries instead of tortilla chips, get a big thumbs-up and an honorable mention.
The Hornet76 Broadway
Denver, CO 80203
(
click here for map)
303.777.7676
www.hornetrestaurant.com
9) Black Bean NachosIf you tell me another Denver restaurant has better nachos than The Hornet, I will not listen. A couple of years ago, The Hornet served a plate of nachos that was big enough for two grown men to split. They've been downsized, but are still a steal at six bucks, with layers and layers of cheese. The Hornet's Black Bean and Veggie Burger is worth writing home about, as well.
Racine's650 Sherman St.
Denver, CO 80203
(
click here for map)
303-595-0418
www.racinesrestaurant.com
10) Mile High NachosThe second best. For $8.99 at Racine's, you and a friend can split an order of Mile High Nachos, and both have heart attacks from the amount of cheese covering this volcano of Mexican-inspired finger food. If you believe there is such a thing as "too much cheese," you'll want to let someone excavate the less-covered chips inside the pile. The Garden Burger at Racine's, served with fried onion on the top and a side of spicy mayonnaise, is also worth the trip.
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