Article Contributed on: 6/28/2007 3:55:36 PM
I'm tolerating my boyfriend's on-the-side lover, and he's compromising by not parading her around in front of me.
Many women deal with such a mistress, I suspect.
She parades under many names, but she is always a woman's rival. Wii. The X-box. Sometimes, she's football, and sometimes she's a basketball. Her natural habitat is the computer or television screen.
My particular nemesis is World of Warcraft, and a little while ago, I declared War.
I won.
Believe me, ladies- It's tough. However, armed with cunning and allure, we can challenge his high-tech hobby odalisque.
But it's a battle.
At first, I thought, if you can't fight it, join it.
Over Christmas break, I gave World of Warcraft a reluctant shot.
The affair was brief and frustrating.
The liaison brought about a love child with my name and WOWs bad looks- a pint-sized ogre also named Jyllian (Jillian was, of course, already taken). I'm told my progeny still tromps through the virtual forest killing orks or something.
But I left with a fair share of resentment.
I hated the game more than ever, and it had a way of interfering with my real-life relationship.
My boyfriend lives a few states away. We talk often.
A few weeks ago, I could smell the perfume and see the lipstick in the collar. In other words, I could hear him discreetly clicking away on his keyboard while we talked. I'd suspected it before, but this time, it was unmistakable.
"Are you playing World of Warcraft again?" I asked glumly. He admitted it blatantly. Blatantly!
Now, a cyber lover who sneaks through the back door is one thing. But one who flaunts herself around bejeweled and bedecked is another thing entirely. And quite frankly, I was feeling just a little bit neglected.
Game on.
"Must you always play World of Warcraft?" I sulked.
"Hmmm?" was his distracted response- and that's when I about blew a fuse. Believe me. I almost called him a "Noob."
Finally, my ever-patient boyfriend declared a cease-fire. The peace talks lasted for what seemed like days.
We finally negotiated an agreement.
He will avoid playing World of Warcraft while I'm on the phone. In return, I will suppress my urge to squeal in front of him whenever I see Michelle Pfeiffer or Nicole Kidman or another actress I love on the cover of
Vogue.
(We can both keep our paramours discreetly on the side. No resentment.)
There's only one proper response for a victory like that: "Woot."
WHAT'S YOUR MAN'S OBNOXIOUS HOBBY, AND HOW HAVE YOU APPROACHED IT? LET ME KNOW BELOW.