National magazines and talk shows have recently been discussing what some refer to as "The Mommy Wars." There are those who think there is a conflict between the traditional "stay at home mom" and the "working mom" who is career oriented. Issues discussed include parents trying to balance kids and careers, parents who stay out of the job market to raise kids, and the struggle to find the proper "quality time" for parents and kids.

This isn't a recent subject. We have heard it before: Working women without kids dislike working moms because they may leave work early to see their kid's games. Then there are women who frown at young mothers who choose not to work to stay home with their kids. It's a good example of a catch 22: If a woman stays out of the workplace, she will never accumulate work experience or retirement benefits like Social Security. If she works, she may miss some special times as her child grows up. Not to be left out is the growing category of "the single mom," probably the most harried of all.

The coverage area of the Rocky Mountain News contains a lot of families who are soldiers in The Mommy Wars. Some are on the front lines and others may feel that this war doesn't exist. Here are some comments I have read:

"Guilt can be found lurking around every corner. Working moms, of course, have to deal with guilt over not spending enough time with their children. Stay-at-home moms have guilt about not contributing to the family's bottom line (at least, not directly) or fully utilizing their education and work experience. Even dads who care for their children have to deal with guilt, because they're "supposed" to be the primary breadwinners, right? Nobody needs the guilt, and it's no one's right to heap it on us. As long as your kids are well cared for, that's what really matters. Each family has to do it the best way they know how."

"Mom vs. mom, not only is it prevalent in the stay-at-home mothers versus working mothers, but in other areas as well - who throws the best birthday party, who does the best craft on Valentine's Day, who does more volunteering at school. It all seems kind of junior high to me, but what bothers me the most is the example we are setting for our kids - especially our daughters."

Do the mommy wars exist as some think or is it not really even a war? Today's families are more disjointed than they used to be. The patriarchal dad such as Robert Young in the 1950's sitcom "Father Knows Best" is a thing of the past as is the quiet obedient mom of the '50s. Family members each have their own agenda and with stronger roles held by moms, the family structure has changed drastically. What do you think?