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Blog Entry 62 of 63 YourHub is a great forum
My wife says I have an opinion on everything. I guess that is correct as I possess what I call "McKnowledge": Knowing pretty much about a lot of things but not a lot about anything in particular. It is a type of surface knowledge learned as a salesman that allows me to converse with anybody from Snoop Dogg to George Will. It's fun but occasionally I have to get down and dirty and use that pesky "research" when I am writng a column since it is every columnist's nightmare to make an error. Short bio: I spent 4 years in the U. S. Air Force, graduated from the University of Central Missouri, had a career in sales that allowed me to move to Scottsdale, AZ in 1989. In 2004 I wrote a 7 part series on the history of television through the 1970's for TV TOME (now TV.com). I have done some TV ,radio, and public address work and write columns and blogs for the SCOTTSDALE REPUBLIC section of THE ARIZONA REPUBLIC and the NORTH SCOTTSDALE INDEPENDENT. I enjoy doing blogs and stories for YourHub in the ROCKY MOUNTAIN NEWS.

Fair is fair, mom
Contributed by: Jim McAllister   on 5/11/2008

There was a time when a woman was expected to get married, have children, and run a household while the man of the family went to work everyday and provided the income to support these pursuits. As time passed, women became more liberated and career minded and the thought of being a full time housewife was repugnant to many. They wanted to join men in the workplace which was fine. If they were qualified, the hell with the "good ole boys" creed of "no girls allowed." Times change and I can dig that.

I have never had a problem working with women. In my work I called on women all the time so I had a professional relationship of salesman to buyer. However, I have heard of many instances where people were in an office situation and working with women was not a pleasant experience. They say that many women have a "want their cake and eat it" attitude toward their job. In other words, although they have chosen a particular work career, they still want to balance it against having a home and kids. They feel that special arrangements should be made for them to skip work for various games and functions where their children are involved.

So, who gets the short end of the stick in a situation like this? It's usually the poor single guy or girl who must fill in for the mom who doesn't understand her work responsibilities. As one single employee says: "When I worked in retail, I was always the one that had to work Halloween night because the moms had to take their children out for trick-or-treat. Same with Christmas Eve and Mother's Day - no one ever thought I might want to visit my mother!" Another stated: "It's just tough sometimes to get up on a snowy day and trudge into work only to find out that half of the office is out because their children have a snow day."

I have nothing against motherhood or women in the workplace but come on ladies, fair is fair. You chose to have a family and work full time. If you have to inconvenience others because of your lifestyle, that is not fair. What is fair is that you get passed up on promotions for your behavior and avoid the persecution complex. There may be a valid reason for that glass ceiling in your case. It's not your co-workers fault that 24 hours in a day are not enough for you to balance your schedule without inconveniencing others.

It's no wonder that employers tend to change the tone of job interviews with women when they hear that they are pregnant or have children. This upsets a lot of women who should try to see the point of view of a guy who is trying to run a business and keep employees happy. He doesn't want to tell a single employee he or she has to work on Saturday so mom can go to a Little League game. That sounds fair to me. Just deal with it, mom and, oh yeah, Happy Mother's Day.




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Showing 1-10 of 25 comments
Submitted By: Jim McAllister
posted on 5/14/2008 @ 5:46:12 PM
(Not Rated)
Gail, (Part deux) I think the male city councilman is justified in asking her how she will handle all her responsibilities. As I mentioned to Sarah, I imagine running a household with kids is a full time job in itself. How can there be much room for a full time job also without some assistance from a husband or nanny, housekeeper, etc.? Asking for exceptions at work is not justified.
Submitted By: Jim McAllister
posted on 5/14/2008 @ 5:39:53 PM
(Not Rated)
Thanks, Gail. Here is an article from a lady who is on the Cincinnati City Council and a practicing lawyer. She is also going to have a baby in August. She is angry about the treatment of women in the workplace who are sneered at because they are pregnant. She says she will handle it as all women do but doesn't really explain how. That's a tough schedule she has, I'll bet she has a nanny. Thanks for the comment. http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080514/EDIT02/805140309/1090
Submitted By: Gail Kirkegaard
posted on 5/14/2008 @ 8:47:39 AM
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You're right, I fully agree Jim. I took ten years out of the workforce to raise my kids. I never shook my fist expecting equal pay or promotions when I wasn't at the job all those years.
Submitted By: Jim McAllister
posted on 5/13/2008 @ 6:32:09 PM
(Not Rated)
Sarah, When I say "Quit whining and deal with it" I am referring to instances where someone is told they can't leave for a game or other function that day and they complain about it. I agree that it's wrong for a woman to make less money than a man if they are doing the same job. That is left over from the "good old boy" network I guess. I wasn't being sarcastic about "Happy Mother's Day." I have nothing against mothers, I had one myself. Glad we got the "slug" definition straightened out. Your last sentnce pretty much covers it.
Submitted By: Sarah Paige
posted on 5/13/2008 @ 1:52:47 PM
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None of this is fair and none of it is what we asked for. And, your attitude about just deal with it and quit your whining (oh by the Happy Mother's Day) was rude and insensative to those women who do it all and deal with it. If your point was simply to tell women not to make their problems their employer's problems, it didn't come across that way.
Submitted By: Sarah Paige
posted on 5/13/2008 @ 1:49:10 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Jim, "slugs" refer to those men who are not 'great' as noted in the previous sentence. I'm not here to quibble this way. You are right in two areas: 1. we did ask to enter the work force; and 2. it's not other employees problem if we have to leave. Here's where you're wrong: 1. We got what we asked for so stop whining; 2. fair is fair; and 3. "Just deal with it, mom. Jim, the big picture is that women don't get paid as much as men for doing the same job. When a divorce happens, the man's standard of living increases two fold while the woman's decreases two fold. - continued on next post.
Submitted By: Jim McAllister
posted on 5/13/2008 @ 1:40:25 PM
(Not Rated)
Sarah, here is the quote from your post: "That's why I refuse to let the slugs off the hoo " I assume "hoo" is short for "hook." I think I made a valid assumption that you meant men are slugs and shouldn't be let off the hook. Sorry I misunderstood you. I'm glad you are happy with your life. I just assumed from your tone that you were typing with a vomiting kid on one arm and a kid with a runny nose on the other while you tried to get the curlers out of your hair and answer the phone call from the school principal. Glad to hear I was wrong about all that. Please don't misunderstand, I am not defending men so don't feel you have to blast them. I know from experience they are no angels. Every sex has its deviants. Here is another quote from you: "I feel what you say and insinuate is ridiculous." See my comment to Katherine for a reply. My comment to her about employer reactions is based on what working mothers have said.
Submitted By: Jim McAllister
posted on 5/13/2008 @ 1:11:37 PM
(Not Rated)
Thanks, Nikki. No question about it, singles are no angels either. I think when someone has to sub for them, though, it is usually another single or childless married person. I guess I am from a different generation but when I started working at a serious job neither I or any of my fellow singles ever considered skipping work after a hard night out on the town. We just loaded up on coffee and "No Doz" and toughed it out. I notice less discipline from a lot of workers today. maybe it was my military background from the Air Force that carried over into my job discipline. Or, maybe I was just a product of a different time where an obligation wasn't something that got blown off. I agree on the flex time. It makes perfect sense and with the global economy and many people working from home, it is easier to accomplish.
Submitted By: Jim McAllister
posted on 5/13/2008 @ 12:57:10 PM
(Not Rated)
Katherine, Luckily we are not in 1975, huh? LOL Yeah, employers are known to change the tone of interviews when women say thay are pregnant or have kids. I don't hink it is a uterus problem, they are more concerned with family committments and their effect on the workplace. I know it's not fair or even legal per Title VII law so they have to watch themselves. Some women say employers see them as less reliable, focused, and committed than their co-workers, and weed them out of job interviews or bypass them for promotions. Unfair? Of course, but what are these thoughts based upon? Bad experiences? I have to think so. Anyone who interviews with you is fortunate as you have and open mind toward everyone. I hope that doesn't come back to bite you. Kids were not a problem for you as long as you kept the Schwinns in good condition. Out the door with 'em! LOL
Submitted By: Sarah Paige
posted on 5/13/2008 @ 12:52:33 PM
Rated Blog Entry
First and foremost, I did not say that all men are slugs. I said those who do not participate in the family duties are slugs. I clearly state that there are those men out there that are great and do help. Second, if you read my blog, you would know that I'm single and have one adult daughter who does not live with me. I'm perfectly happy with my situation, so, my stress level is not high. Don't confuse my being upset over your comments for stress. I feel what you say and insinuate is ridiculous. Not only does Nikki make a great point about the brown bottle flu, but don't forget the golfer-itis a lot of male executives come down with every spring, summer and fall. Kids are not an excuse for slacking. Men make the decision to have career and family and whine constantly. It's called PMS - Poor Me Syndrome.
Showing 1-10 of 25 comments
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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Jim McAllister

Scottsdale , AZ

Jim McAllister has posted 76 blog entries and 107 comments since joining on 5/7/2006. Jim McAllister 's average blog rating is 4.76.
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