About a year ago, I posted an article entitled What Men Think When They See Us Naked. It was well received by those of you good-natured folks that read YourHub, so I took it upon myself a few months ago to post it on Yahoo Shine.

Big mistake ... huge!

In the politically correct land of Yahoo Shine where everything has to be properly phrased in order to keep us all on an even playing field, I Sarah Paige the smarta** extraordinaire, was tarred and feathered over the following line:

So, ladies, next time you're about to get naked with a man, stop worrying if you're a woolly mammoth with stretch marks and think like a man...simple and shallow.

It didn't matter that I spent about 1200 words discussing how some women (me!) over react when it comes to getting naked in front of a man, the robotic bland world of political correctness took one line out of context and attacked me for calling all men simple and shallow.

Apparently, I was man bashing. Who knew?

After being properly chastised, I had to take the opportunity to thank these fine folks for bringing me back from the error of my ways. Silly me, I didn't know that Hooters and Playboy were two entities proven to earn profits during economic downturns and that professional cheerleaders were there in short skirts and sports bras only to stimulate the male mind because all men are such deeply profound intellectuals at all times.

For some reason, they didn't like my response either. Shocking, I know.

Enough satire already; I'll bite. I'm willing to put the shoe on the other foot and delve into the female issue of shallowness and simplicity. I'll risk a little bashing of my own gender in the interest of fairness. So here goes: when it comes to men and their physical form, are women simple and shallow?

Absolutely!

Do any of you honestly think there are half-naked firefighters in calendars because women aren't superficial? We too can practice the art of rubber-necking when it comes to gawking at an attractive man.

Case in point: Diet Coke break. That sound you hear are women everywhere swooning over the bare-chested construction worker guzzling Diet Coke while the sun beats off his shoulders and sweat sparkles against his tanned, ripped abdomen. It's a miracle we even know the product being sold is Diet Coke - sheer advertising brilliance.

Cowboys are the universal language of lust. We know that blue jeans and cowboy boots always do the trick. There's nothing hotter than a man with a southern drawl and black cowboy hat who knows how to treat a lady right.

Now let's discuss men in uniform (like you didn't see it coming). While the uniform of choice may vary for every woman, lust is lust.

How about our men in blue? There is something incredibly sexy and safe about the strength of a police officer; and I know women who actually stutter in the presence of firefighters. Trust me, in honor of the DNC, there are a lot of silly, happy women strolling the 16th Street Mall this week.

Speedos ... men's swimming at the Olympics didn't just have high ratings because the world wanted to watch Michael Phelps win eight gold medals; no the ratings skyrocketed from simple, shallow women drooling over the plethora of men with sleek, tight six-pack bodies in Speedos.

And, now that the Olympics are over, and we've cried our last tear, we turn to football to excite our brains. Our acumen is fed by those skin tight pants hugging beefy male legs while glistening cut biceps bulge from holding off the testosterone riddled opponents boasting nice tight-ends that ... where was I? Oh, yeah, woman bashing and men in uniforms. (I'm so shallow).

There, I'm done; I woman bashed. I called women simple and shallow, and guess what? It didn't hurt a bit.