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Blog Entry 38 of 145 Bad Mom
I call myself Bad Mom because at the time I came up with it, I was learning about the assumptions we put behind our words. I was following the pattern of not believing that my kids are okay, and speaking to them from that basis. I changed that, and it made a big difference. I am from Utah and my people are still living there. My husband was in the Air Force and we rattled around until we saw Colorado, and we stuck.

In the Name of God, Please Let Me Win
Contributed by: Lisa Arata   on 11/26/2007

About a year ago I realized I have no particularly strong faith in God or religion, and I stopped faking it.

And yet...today I was driving along, fretting about my choice to pursue writing, seeing all the success stories and clashing head-to-head with my fears that I'm a loser, I got this feeling that normally would have got me praying to God for help.

I wanted some form of higher power to infuse me with abilities and help me work up to my highest potential. I wanted some grand figure on a higher level of consciousness to notice me, permeate the membrane of the human ego and give me a big old hug.

Because I'm frightened. I've failed at so many things. I've burned bridges. I don't have a good habit or ethos or whatever you'd call it. My identity has had to go without calling itself a winner at life. What happened after that was compromise and adaptation.

In the past, when I prayed, nothing much happened that couldn't be explained. I figure it's like Jesus said: "God has knowledge of what you need before you do."
If there is such.

Instead what I'm going to do is take it step by step. And I'm going to set goals. And I'm going to start being more helpful to and interested in other people, because self-isolation is easy, but a person needs help in this world.

If I don't give up this time, I can do things I never thought possible. If there is a God, it's in the way you know you've succeeded.

Self pep talk: You CAN. So Go. And DO,



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Showing 1-3 of 3 comments
Submitted By: Karin Malchow
posted on 11/27/2007 @ 8:33:04 PM
Rated Blog Entry
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -- Frank Herbert ("Dune") Okay, it is a little blasphemous in this context as it is a fictional religion's prayer, but I like it.
Submitted By: Katherine Jerome
posted on 11/27/2007 @ 9:23:08 AM
Rated Blog Entry
Being interested in and helping other people, is, in my opinion "what it's all about" Lisa! Positive internal dialogue always leads to good things.
Submitted By: Gladys Mercier
posted on 11/26/2007 @ 7:49:27 PM
Rated Blog Entry
God is there and He does care about you.You have not failed in life if you are raising 2 children!
Showing 1-3 of 3 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Lisa Arata

Greeley , CO

Lisa Arata has posted 145 blog entries and 224 comments since joining on 4/18/2007. Lisa Arata 's average blog rating is 4.78.
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