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Blog Entry 38 of 145
Bad Mom
I call myself Bad Mom because at the time I came up with it, I was learning about the assumptions we put behind our words. I was following the pattern of not believing that my kids are okay, and speaking to them from that basis. I changed that, and it made a big difference. I am from Utah and my people are still living there. My husband was in the Air Force and we rattled around until we saw Colorado, and we stuck.
Blog Url:
http://denver.yourhub.com/~Huh
Entries:
4/18/2007 'Peace to All Christians and...'
4/19/2007 'Meet the Newest Celebrity'
4/21/2007 'Ghosts Appear'
4/22/2007 'The Cities as Girlfriends'
4/30/2007 'End of the Republican Party?'
5/4/2007 'They're telling me "stop wi...'
5/7/2007 'Slug, Hoe, Primp!'
5/10/2007 '0'
5/15/2007 'Political, Immoral, Practic...'
6/10/2007 'Oh, how I love Five For Fig...'
10/3/2007 'I Want To Get A Job!'
10/8/2007 'Whatcha thinka my story con...'
10/8/2007 'Weight Loss--the 20 Year Plan'
10/9/2007 'How I keep writing even tho...'
10/10/2007 'One Blind Leap Across My Soul'
10/11/2007 'Using My Emotions Like Clay'
10/12/2007 'Finally Getting Down To It'
10/15/2007 'I've got that sick feeling ...'
10/19/2007 'Sickening, but Embarrassing...'
10/22/2007 'I'm So Lonely'
10/23/2007 '5 mile walk does the trick'
10/23/2007 'Little Horror Movies in a C...'
10/26/2007 '"The Talk" for Girls'
10/29/2007 'Now I face terror.'
10/31/2007 'Realization'
10/31/2007 'This is my Boot Camp'
10/31/2007 'Exposing Myself'
10/31/2007 'Scariest Questions in a Mot...'
11/1/2007 'Everything Gives You Cancer'
11/3/2007 'Now It Comes Back Around'
11/10/2007 'How Hot???'
11/12/2007 'Not Too Hot, Really'
11/12/2007 'God, I Can't Stand Reading ...'
11/13/2007 'My Dad Learned Parenting fr...'
11/16/2007 'I'm a Pro at Crastinating.'
11/19/2007 'Bonnie Found Herself a Tast...'
11/24/2007 'Went Down to the Land O'Goshen'
11/26/2007 'In the Name of God, Please ...'
11/29/2007 'I am a messy manuscript'
11/30/2007 'A good life for you, for th...'
12/3/2007 'Losing One's Nose'
12/7/2007 'Lack of Feeling about Chris...'
12/8/2007 'Revision Hellishness'
12/10/2007 'Copin' with the Season'
12/14/2007 'Candidate Bar Hopping'
12/16/2007 'Hand in Proper Relationship...'
1/5/2008 'Coming Out of the Dark'
1/5/2008 'Retake on Coming Out of the...'
1/7/2008 'Christ the King/Jesus the T...'
1/10/2008 'The Pattern of Self-Defeat'
1/14/2008 'Do you believe in political...'
1/22/2008 'Midlife and Miracles'
1/24/2008 'Botomless Pit Ego Battle'
1/29/2008 'Ego'
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3/4/2008 'The Meaning Of Life! Unfort...'
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3/17/2008 'I Can or I Can't'
4/1/2008 'Stop Whining, Start Living?...'
4/3/2008 'Two Views of Time'
4/6/2008 'Drunken Bloggin' Part II'
4/9/2008 'WCSD 6: What a piece of wor...'
4/19/2008 'Drunken Bloggin' III'
4/21/2008 'Apologies Christine'
5/10/2008 'Drunken Bloggin' again.'
5/18/2008 'Candidate bar hopping redux'
5/19/2008 'I hurt a friend. Sober blog...'
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5/21/2008 'Primal fear and obsession o...'
5/24/2008 'Exploring the Dark Side and...'
5/25/2008 'Nirvanax, Part 1: May 25th,...'
5/25/2008 'Nirvanax Part II'
5/26/2008 'Nirvanax Part III'
5/27/2008 'Nirvanax Part IV--Broken'
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6/2/2008 'Sorry I was so negative abo...'
6/3/2008 'Living in the colors of the...'
6/4/2008 'A Beef about Butts'
6/6/2008 'The Rock and Roll Came Back!'
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6/14/2008 'A blog about blogging'
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6/16/2008 '70's Music Fixation: Januar...'
6/17/2008 'The 70's Fixation continues...'
6/18/2008 'My sister, myself, and a 45...'
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6/20/2008 'Watching the cartoonist'
6/23/2008 'Dignity'
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6/26/2008 'What's the purpose of etern...'
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7/1/2008 'I have found elixir of the ...'
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7/4/2008 '4th of July musings'
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7/8/2008 'Faithfulness, integrity, tr...'
7/11/2008 'Lisa's Last Chance Plants'
7/14/2008 'Thoughts on a sunny day'
7/16/2008 'What is education for?'
7/17/2008 'Two Approaches to Depression'
7/22/2008 'Nonspecific Therapies for y...'
7/23/2008 'When Should I Drive the Eis...'
7/24/2008 'Miserablizing? Try Shifting.'
7/27/2008 'What I would have written'
7/30/2008 'Uh-oh, another bout with fo...'
7/31/2008 'My bubby goes to high schoo...'
7/31/2008 'Got a little mad on.'
8/4/2008 'Trinities and Triads'
8/4/2008 'Utah-ness'
8/8/2008 'Wyomingness'
8/12/2008 'The real ruin of society'
8/13/2008 'Cupcake wants to be a muffin'
8/17/2008 'What if I'm a pretender?'
8/20/2008 'Review: 'How to Get Rich' b...'
8/25/2008 'Utah State in the 80's'
8/29/2008 'Yeah, Sarah Palin! Drunken ...'
8/30/2008 'Auntie Lisa's Baby Name Cat...'
8/31/2008 'This blog has been deleted'
9/2/2008 'The Circle. A Sermon.'
9/4/2008 'Sarah Palin'
9/6/2008 'My Own Prairie Home Companion'
9/9/2008 'My book of wise sayings'
9/10/2008 'Wish me a fortunate wind.'
9/14/2008 'Book of wisdom: Aging in life'
9/15/2008 'Being Productive'
9/19/2008 'The latest on my problem wi...'
9/21/2008 'Deleted because I don't fee...'
9/22/2008 'What is internet safety? Rant.'
9/24/2008 'Grateful to learn a lesson'
9/25/2008 'Can we get a retro?'
9/27/2008 'Bad to the Blog'
9/29/2008 'Art in a closet'
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9/30/2008 'A Painting of Mine'
10/1/2008 'Dogs and Politics'
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10/3/2008 'Can we erase, please?'
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10/5/2008 'Taking America Back?!'
10/6/2008 'Panic Picnic'
In the Name of God, Please Let Me Win
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Contributed by:
Lisa Arata
on 11/26/2007
About a year ago I realized I have no particularly strong faith in God or religion, and I stopped faking it.
And yet...today I was driving along, fretting about my choice to pursue writing, seeing all the success stories and clashing head-to-head with my fears that I'm a loser, I got this feeling that normally would have got me praying to God for help.
I wanted some form of higher power to infuse me with abilities and help me work up to my highest potential. I wanted some grand figure on a higher level of consciousness to notice me, permeate the membrane of the human ego and give me a big old hug.
Because I'm frightened. I've failed at so many things. I've burned bridges. I don't have a good habit or ethos or whatever you'd call it. My identity has had to go without calling itself a winner at life. What happened after that was compromise and adaptation.
In the past, when I prayed, nothing much happened that couldn't be explained. I figure it's like Jesus said: "God has knowledge of what you need before you do."
If there is such.
Instead what I'm going to do is take it step by step. And I'm going to set goals. And I'm going to start being more helpful to and interested in other people, because self-isolation is easy, but a person needs help in this world.
If I don't give up this time, I can do things I never thought possible. If there is a God, it's in the way you know you've succeeded.
Self pep talk: You CAN. So Go. And DO,
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Showing 1-3 of 3 comments
Submitted By: Karin Malchow
posted on 11/27/2007 @ 8:33:04 PM
Rated Blog Entry
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -- Frank Herbert ("Dune") Okay, it is a little blasphemous in this context as it is a fictional religion's prayer, but I like it.
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Submitted By: Katherine Jerome
posted on 11/27/2007 @ 9:23:08 AM
Rated Blog Entry
Being interested in and helping other people, is, in my opinion "what it's all about" Lisa! Positive internal dialogue always leads to good things.
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Submitted By: Gladys Mercier
posted on 11/26/2007 @ 7:49:27 PM
Rated Blog Entry
God is there and He does care about you.You have not failed in life if you are raising 2 children!
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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION
Lisa Arata
Greeley
, CO
Lisa Arata has posted
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