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Blog Entry 55 of 146 Bad Mom
I call myself Bad Mom because at the time I came up with it, I was learning about the assumptions we put behind our words. I was following the pattern of not believing that my kids are okay, and speaking to them from that basis. I changed that, and it made a big difference. I am from Utah and my people are still living there. My husband was in the Air Force and we rattled around until we saw Colorado, and we stuck.

I drew a circle...
Contributed by: Lisa Arata   on 2/12/2008

At my writer's group yesterday I had a strange and good experience.

I'd had a crummy day depression-wise. You know, the one where you believe you're isolated and unloved in all the world, and you want to cry.

On the way to my writer's group I was listening to A Course In Miracles. It said something like, "you create your experience."

I'm sitting in writer's group, eight people there and one instructor, thinking, "I'm the oddball. Everyone else is cool, and I'm just a cling-on." I know conceptually that I'm creating that, so I take a piece of paper and write it out. Then I rethink it.

I wrote that all the others got together at the same moment as I did, for the same reasons. We are all good.

That felt better. I healed my thinking, and no longer felt alienated for the rest of the time.

I'd been paying attention to the negative, ignoring the positive, as if there was something in it for me. I don't know how I chose that way of life, but it isn't the truth. The truth is, I belong. It is helpful to direct my attention to the good.



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Showing 1-5 of 5 comments
Submitted By: Lisa Arata
posted on 3/4/2008 @ 8:47:54 AM
(Not Rated)
Thank you for the words of support! It means a lot. This thing gets scary and I forget that I have strength. And y'all are helping.
Submitted By: Jamie VanEaton
posted on 3/2/2008 @ 2:03:24 PM
Rated Blog Entry
I hope you are feeling better! I look forward to getting to know you more. I was working towards a linguistics major in college before I had kids.
Submitted By: Michael Rule
posted on 2/16/2008 @ 8:18:24 AM
Rated Blog Entry
PS, hang in there
Submitted By: Michael Rule
posted on 2/16/2008 @ 8:18:11 AM
Rated Blog Entry
Sometiimes focusing on the good can be tough, like enjoying a beautiful rose while mosquitos buzz around your head.
Submitted By: Gladys Mercier
posted on 2/15/2008 @ 7:31:54 PM
Rated Blog Entry
Lisa, just remember that you are created in the image of God. you are special.
Showing 1-5 of 5 comments
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Lisa Arata

Greeley , CO

Lisa Arata has posted 146 blog entries and 224 comments since joining on 4/18/2007. Lisa Arata 's average blog rating is 4.78.
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