e-mail:
password:
register
|
login
› DENVER
SEARCH YOUR HUB:
GO
advanced search
Loading Ad
STORIES
EVENTS
BLOGS
Brendan's List ›
FOR SALE
YELLOW PAGES
PHOTOS
Local Info ›
Home ›
Help ›
Visit Other Hubs:
YourHub.com
Arvada
Aurora
Boulder
Brighton
Broomfield
Castle Pines
Castle Rock
Centennial
Cherry Hills Village
Commerce City
Conifer
Denver
Denver North
Denver South
Edgewater
Englewood
Erie
Evergreen
Federal Heights
Franktown
Glendale
Golden
Green Valley Ranch
Greenwood Village
Highlands Ranch
Lafayette
Lakewood
Littleton
Lone Tree
Longmont
Louisville and Superior
Montbello
Morrison
nights
Niwot
Northglenn
Parker
Roxborough
Sheridan
Thornton
TriTowns
Westminster
Wheat Ridge
ADVERTISEMENT
Loading Tower
Blog
YourHub.com
\\
Denver
\\
Blogs
\\
Life
Blog Entry 48 of 182
Bad Mom
I call myself Bad Mom because at the time I came up with it, I was learning about the assumptions we put behind our words. I was following the pattern of not believing that my kids are okay, and speaking to them from that basis. I changed that, and it made a big difference. I am from Utah and my people are still living there. My husband was in the Air Force and we rattled around until we saw Colorado, and we stuck.
Blog Url:
http://denver.yourhub.com/~Huh
Entries:
4/18/2007 'Peace to All Christians and...'
4/19/2007 'Meet the Newest Celebrity'
4/21/2007 'Ghosts Appear'
4/22/2007 'The Cities as Girlfriends'
4/30/2007 'End of the Republican Party?'
5/4/2007 'They're telling me "stop wi...'
5/7/2007 'Slug, Hoe, Primp!'
5/10/2007 '0'
5/15/2007 'Political, Immoral, Practic...'
6/10/2007 'Oh, how I love Five For Fig...'
10/3/2007 'I Want To Get A Job!'
10/8/2007 'Whatcha thinka my story con...'
10/8/2007 'Weight Loss--the 20 Year Plan'
10/9/2007 'How I keep writing even tho...'
10/10/2007 'One Blind Leap Across My Soul'
10/11/2007 'Using My Emotions Like Clay'
10/12/2007 'Finally Getting Down To It'
10/15/2007 'I've got that sick feeling ...'
10/19/2007 'Sickening, but Embarrassing...'
10/22/2007 'I'm So Lonely'
10/23/2007 '5 mile walk does the trick'
10/23/2007 'Little Horror Movies in a C...'
10/26/2007 '"The Talk" for Girls'
10/29/2007 'Now I face terror.'
10/31/2007 'Realization'
10/31/2007 'This is my Boot Camp'
10/31/2007 'Exposing Myself'
10/31/2007 'Scariest Questions in a Mot...'
11/1/2007 'Everything Gives You Cancer'
11/3/2007 'Now It Comes Back Around'
11/10/2007 'How Hot???'
11/12/2007 'Not Too Hot, Really'
11/12/2007 'God, I Can't Stand Reading ...'
11/13/2007 'My Dad Learned Parenting fr...'
11/16/2007 'I'm a Pro at Crastinating.'
11/19/2007 'Bonnie Found Herself a Tast...'
11/24/2007 'Went Down to the Land O'Goshen'
11/26/2007 'In the Name of God, Please ...'
11/29/2007 'I am a messy manuscript'
11/30/2007 'A good life for you, for th...'
12/3/2007 'Losing One's Nose'
12/7/2007 'Lack of Feeling about Chris...'
12/8/2007 'Revision Hellishness'
12/10/2007 'Copin' with the Season'
12/14/2007 'Candidate Bar Hopping'
12/16/2007 'Hand in Proper Relationship...'
1/5/2008 'Coming Out of the Dark'
1/5/2008 'Retake on Coming Out of the...'
1/7/2008 'Christ the King/Jesus the T...'
1/10/2008 'The Pattern of Self-Defeat'
1/14/2008 'Do you believe in political...'
1/22/2008 'Midlife and Miracles'
1/24/2008 'Botomless Pit Ego Battle'
1/29/2008 'Ego'
2/12/2008 'I drew a circle...'
3/4/2008 'The Meaning Of Life! Unfort...'
3/4/2008 'How to adjust your car's mi...'
3/8/2008 'Drunken Bloggin'. Should I ...'
3/17/2008 'I Can or I Can't'
4/1/2008 'Stop Whining, Start Living?...'
4/3/2008 'Two Views of Time'
4/6/2008 'Drunken Bloggin' Part II'
4/9/2008 'WCSD 6: What a piece of wor...'
4/19/2008 'Drunken Bloggin' III'
4/21/2008 'Apologies Christine'
5/10/2008 'Drunken Bloggin' again.'
5/18/2008 'Candidate bar hopping redux'
5/19/2008 'I hurt a friend. Sober blog...'
5/20/2008 'What it's like today'
5/21/2008 'Primal fear and obsession o...'
5/24/2008 'Exploring the Dark Side and...'
5/25/2008 'Nirvanax, Part 1: May 25th,...'
5/25/2008 'Nirvanax Part II'
5/26/2008 'Nirvanax Part III'
5/27/2008 'Nirvanax Part IV--Broken'
6/1/2008 'Presumed Ill Intent'
6/2/2008 'Sorry I was so negative abo...'
6/3/2008 'Living in the colors of the...'
6/4/2008 'A Beef about Butts'
6/6/2008 'The Rock and Roll Came Back!'
6/9/2008 'Pregnant Man and Reforming ...'
6/14/2008 'A blog about blogging'
6/14/2008 'FahrVerDrunkenbloggin. 70's...'
6/16/2008 '70's Music Fixation: Januar...'
6/17/2008 'The 70's Fixation continues...'
6/18/2008 'My sister, myself, and a 45...'
6/19/2008 '11 Year Old Lisa's Faves fr...'
6/19/2008 'Next Blog Challenge: Think ...'
6/20/2008 'Watching the cartoonist'
6/23/2008 'Dignity'
6/23/2008 'Newly Discovered Secret to ...'
6/26/2008 'What's the purpose of etern...'
6/28/2008 'Biology and Beingness, soda...'
6/30/2008 'Things we lean on are thing...'
7/1/2008 'I have found elixir of the ...'
7/2/2008 'Why did I get so gaga over ...'
7/2/2008 'Can we do things right now ...'
7/4/2008 '4th of July musings'
7/5/2008 'Vas ist das? Eine kline...d...'
7/8/2008 'Faithfulness, integrity, tr...'
7/11/2008 'Lisa's Last Chance Plants'
7/14/2008 'Thoughts on a sunny day'
7/16/2008 'What is education for?'
7/17/2008 'Two Approaches to Depression'
7/22/2008 'Nonspecific Therapies for y...'
7/23/2008 'When Should I Drive the Eis...'
7/24/2008 'Miserablizing? Try Shifting.'
7/27/2008 'What I would have written'
7/30/2008 'Uh-oh, another bout with fo...'
7/31/2008 'My bubby goes to high schoo...'
7/31/2008 'Got a little mad on.'
8/4/2008 'Trinities and Triads'
8/4/2008 'Utah-ness'
8/8/2008 'Wyomingness'
8/12/2008 'The real ruin of society'
8/13/2008 'Cupcake wants to be a muffin'
8/17/2008 'What if I'm a pretender?'
8/20/2008 'Review: 'How to Get Rich' b...'
8/25/2008 'Utah State in the 80's'
8/29/2008 'Yeah, Sarah Palin! Drunken ...'
8/30/2008 'Auntie Lisa's Baby Name Cat...'
8/31/2008 'This blog has been deleted'
9/2/2008 'The Circle. A Sermon.'
9/4/2008 'Sarah Palin'
9/6/2008 'My Own Prairie Home Companion'
9/9/2008 'My book of wise sayings'
9/10/2008 'Wish me a fortunate wind.'
9/14/2008 'Book of wisdom: Aging in life'
9/15/2008 'Being Productive'
9/19/2008 'The latest on my problem wi...'
9/21/2008 'Deleted because I don't fee...'
9/22/2008 'What is internet safety? Rant.'
9/24/2008 'Grateful to learn a lesson'
9/25/2008 'Can we get a retro?'
9/27/2008 'Bad to the Blog'
9/29/2008 'Art in a closet'
9/29/2008 'Look who agrees on the bail...'
9/30/2008 'A Painting of Mine'
10/1/2008 'Dogs and Politics'
10/2/2008 'This picture is not right, ...'
10/3/2008 'Can we erase, please?'
10/4/2008 'Bush bashing, my elf!'
10/4/2008 'Heritage Foundation on the ...'
10/5/2008 'Taking America Back?!'
10/6/2008 'Panic Picnic'
10/7/2008 'Notes to Self. Dogs. Rocks.'
10/8/2008 'Limbaugh logic'
10/9/2008 'Painting the dog'
10/10/2008 'Halal Grocery'
10/13/2008 'That's my kid there on the ...'
10/13/2008 'The Black Dog'
10/14/2008 'The YourHub stars'
10/15/2008 'This blog entry removed.'
10/16/2008 'George Washington's Den'
10/17/2008 'Oliver Stone says 'W' is 'f...'
10/19/2008 'A Thin Shell'
10/20/2008 'Thin Shell postscript'
10/21/2008 'Dogged Artist'
10/22/2008 'My art, my angst.'
10/23/2008 'Okay. Now, just maybe'
10/24/2008 'This dog's got flair'
10/25/2008 'The trouble with art'
10/26/2008 'Good days and Bad Painting'
10/27/2008 'Paint and Politics.'
10/30/2008 'Things you have to ignore a...'
11/2/2008 'Why did I vote conservative...'
11/5/2008 'Whoa, what happened?'
11/7/2008 'I know what happened with O...'
11/8/2008 'I Lost It Over Obama'
11/10/2008 'Influences: Books in the fr...'
11/11/2008 'Influences: Sugar'
11/12/2008 'Influences: Mom and Dad get...'
11/13/2008 'Influences: Fashion dolls a...'
11/15/2008 'Influences: Born in the 1800's'
11/17/2008 'Influences: My Spit Sister'
11/18/2008 'I'm a Positive Conservative'
11/21/2008 'Influences: distracting things'
11/22/2008 'I imagine too (whimsical no...'
11/24/2008 'Ju'
11/24/2008 'Influences: Lonely Town'
11/25/2008 'At Church'
12/2/2008 'Influences: Friends 3'
Retake on Coming Out of the Dark
e-mail to a friend
|
print this
|
link to this
Contributed by:
Lisa Arata
on 1/5/2008
I somehow hadn't published that blog entry when I wrote it. Maybe I stepped away from the computer and somebody wanted to use it. Anyhow, I wrote that a week orthree ago, and now I consider it a little artificial, a kind of "fake it 'til you make it" kind of thing.
It's true, the tunnel has gone behind. Those black and deadly feelings are mostly faded, and right now I'm still scared they'll come back next year.
The good thing was, I shared them with people, and my family and friends came through and told me they cared about me. That meant more to me now than it used to.
I had a big talk with my husband in the middle of the night about how things are. He dialogued with me and the outcome was, somehow Ibegan to feelmuch warmer to him than before. I told him I can't get along without his friendship. I still think I could leave, but as long as we're working hard to renegotiate things, it's worth staying. I don't believe in staying married no matter what like I did when I got married. I still think divorce is second best after working it out. Staying and suffering is third best.
The truth is, love as an older married couple may not be a new and exotic thing like it was (supposed to be) in our twenties, but it can be more intense, challenging and rewarding at this age. I experienced that.
I still grieve a little bit. I tell myself that it was once my turn to be a child, then it was my turn to be a teenager, then a young single, then a young mom. Now it's my turn to get gray hair and struggle for my soul.
Oh, listen to me. I have like five gray strands visible at any one hair parting.
Still have to find a job I'll stay with.
Still writing my novel.
Still volunteering.
Loving more, judging less.
No more trying hard to make everything come out right. There is no fix.
< Previous: 'Coming Out of the Dark'
|
Next: 'Christ the King/Jesus ...' >
[Report this as objectionable content.]
SUBMIT COMMENT
Rate the above blog
Current Rating
Based on 1 user ratings.
Talk Back :
submit comments to the blog
*Note: you need to
log-in
to add a comment or rating.
Thank you! Your comment has been updated.
*A comment must be between 1 and 1000 characters.
*Please refrain from using explicit language.
CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION
Lisa Arata
Greeley
, CO
Lisa Arata has posted
182
blog entries and
282
comments since joining on
4/18/2007
. Lisa Arata 's average blog rating is
4.74
.
view profile »
view other postings from Lisa Arata »
SAVE AND SHARE THIS BLOG ENTRY
BLOG ENTRY RSS FEEDS
All blog entries
All blog entries in Denver
All blog entries by Lisa Arata
BLOG LIST
Users
A Lady's Lair
Dooty and Honor
Northglenn Revealed
A Therapy Dog's Journal
Father Knows.... Something
The Ridden Word
All 4 Thinking
Gladys Mercier, Arvada
Sandy's Fine Art
Alpenglow
Growing the Movement
Speaking at random about flying and writing
Arvada: The way it was, the way it is, the way it could be.
HoroscopicallyBlonde
Suburban Dementia
Ask the Dog Guy
In Between
The Subversive Liberal
Average Joe. Not.
JayJaySteeleviewslifeandstuff
Views of a middle aged outdoor lover
Bad Mom
Welcome to the Retroplex
Baseball, football, the Grateful Dead, Jesus and me
Life in the St. Vrain
Who, What & Ware
Boulder Carbon Tax Tracker
Liz's Blog Log!
Wine Advice from a non Ascot Wearing Dude
BulldogBlog
Longmont Advocate
Women Making & Discovering Their History
Buzz by Barbara
The Meaning of Life, or at Least the Last 24 Hours
The Write Words
Conservative Musings
My Life Amongst the Y-Chromosomes
Intrepid
The Donnanator Report
News, fit to print or not
Longmont Theater Company
Staff blogs
Kristin Morin
Dot's Droppings
Daniel Smith
Eric J. Lubbers
Karen Groves
Steve Shultz
Charmaine Robledo
John Zwick
YourHub.com police blotter blog
For a regular sampler of content from across the site, check out
HubCap
.
WANT TO WRITE FOR YOURHUB.COM?
Want to see the stories you write and the photos you shoot featured in the YourHub.com Thursday print section available
all over the Front Range
and with home subscriptions of the
Rocky Mountain News
and
The Denver Post?
All you have to do is
register
, then post a
story or column
,
start a blog
or
tell everyone
what events are happening in town. We will print the best stories, columns, event listings, photos and blog entries in our print sections.
ADVERTISEMENT
Loading Ad
Loading Ad
ADVERTISEMENT
Loading Ad