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Blog Entry 54 of 182 Bad Mom
I call myself Bad Mom because at the time I came up with it, I was learning about the assumptions we put behind our words. I was following the pattern of not believing that my kids are okay, and speaking to them from that basis. I changed that, and it made a big difference. I am from Utah and my people are still living there. My husband was in the Air Force and we rattled around until we saw Colorado, and we stuck.

Blog Url: http://denver.yourhub.com/~Huh

Ego
Contributed by: Lisa Arata   on 1/29/2008

I'm not a student of Sigmund Freud, but rather a consumer of pop psychology. That's where I first heard of the term 'ego,' as in "Mick Jagger has lasted so long as a rock star because he's got an enormous ego." And, "You're sure neurotic. What happened to you that made you get so ego-defensive?"

Here's how the ego is being explained to me:

We take our thoughts and impressions and wishes, and then we create ways to get what we want. We aren't always conscious of where these thoughts come from or how we are affecting others.

We give our methods their own logic. When we pay attention to what this logic is saying, we begin to think that what our egos are saying make sense. In our lives we are able to carry on this way.

For example, my dad always made it seem like the best thing to be was intelligent. A lot of what he said was things like, "Wise up." I loved my dad, and so I decided to be intelligent, so he'd love me. He didn't TELL me to be that way--I created that. So my ego was always tied up in proving I was intelligent. In a way, that was a good thing. I was the only one in my family to get a degree.

But as I grew up I made mistakes and got myself into places I didn't want to be. How did it happen? I had a helluva time realizing that I'd done some of the same things stupid people do. In other words, I wasn't always intelligent. I was sometimes stupid. That put a crack in my nut, I tell you.

Our egos want to prove their own validity. I think for a lot of people, the things they're doing in life function well according to the dictates of their egos. I think athletes, for example, who base their ego on athletic performance and do well at it, are probably pretty happy people. And Jack Nicholson is an actor who says he doesn't have many regrets. He must be egoically pretty copacetic, if you take what he says at face value.

My ego is giving me crap lately. I'm learning a few things about ego that I think might help.

One thing is that your ego isn't easily satisfied and it never comes to an end of what it wants.

Another is that your ego may have logic, but logic isn't the same thing as sanity.

These things come from A Course In Miracles, but I'm putting them in my own words to help me make use of them. I'm seeing that it is very helpful and desirable to see that there is a constant, true thing, which is whole and hasn't been split or fragmented or dissolved. And I'm willing to believe that the Truth is good, and that it's there for me.

In ACIM it talks about Jesus' death on the cross. I've always wondered what being hung on a cross has to do with anything. What's being suggested is, Jesus dying on the cross was not a great tragedy, because the body is a part of what's fragmented and unreal. Jesus coming back to speak and continue to show people the way is the great thing.

I rejected religion in past blogs, and I think I wasn't wrong to do so, but I also think my ego was waging war against anything it felt threatened by. The ego is good when it comes to tigerhunting in the jungle, after all. So I guess now I need to find a new way to live. I don't know what that will be, but I hope I can at least put my ego in the proper relationship in my life.


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Showing 1 of 1 comments
Submitted By: Michael Rule
posted on 2/8/2008 @ 9:41:06 AM
Rated Blog Entry
My ego could use a beer, my logical side says to wait a few hours......Oh Well. As far as Jack goes (in my opinion), great actor, lousy human
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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Lisa Arata

Greeley , CO

Lisa Arata has posted 182 blog entries and 282 comments since joining on 4/18/2007. Lisa Arata 's average blog rating is 4.74.
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