I'm feeling nostalgic.

If I were to draw a map to my nostalgic feeling, more than likely it would lead to the ever expanding world of reunions and remakes. If you're keeping score, the recent additions include The Smashing Pumpkins (but if you want to get technical it's really a Zwan reunion), Rage Against the Machine, The Spice Girls, The Jesus and Mary Chain, The Verve, Hairspray being remade( Note to filmmakers, not all of John Waters movies were gold, so please, let's leave Cry Baby and Pecker alone okay?), Footloose is getting remade with the cute little lead girl with a boy's name from High School Musical...err, I'm sorry, I've just been informed that the girl with the boys name is not actually a girl, but a dude...my bad. Anyway all this "let bygone be bygones and let's get the band back together" sappy sentimentality (except for you Billy Corgan, the Pumpkin thing doesn't count) has got me feeling for the days of yore.

So I offer this, now I may not actually pay to see all of these reunions/remakes (see snobby elitist attitude) and may actually be that guy who later scoffs at the idea, calling it a typical case of "selling out". But someone out there might be jazzed by it, and if one person's life is somehow changed, then the job is complete.

1) Bono, His Mullet, and Red Rocks-Bono and his mullet reuniting...genius. I'm going to offer a theory, I don't have any evidence to back my claim, so you may want to call me Michael Moore for the rest of the article, but Bono, when he rocked the mullet, was a man possessed. Arguably, U2's best music came when Bono was sporting the party in the back, and when that went away...things like Zooropa and Pop surfaced (I'll acquiesce to Achtung Baby, but he sort of had a mullet working, and a sort of mullet is better than no mullet). I don't want hear anyone laying claim to their last two albums... decent, but unremarkable, alright let's be honest, weak corporate fluff... because he has no mullet (and depending on who you talk to, he has a toupee). That mullet gave him a fire in the belly and having to suffer through that Vertigo song, we deserve and demand that the fire return, if for only one night. That one night now leads to the greatest venue on earth, Red Rocks, preferably with a fog rolling in, but beggars really can't be choosers so I'll take whatever. We've all seen what happens when U2 are at Red Rocks...so Bono, are you on the trolley on this one? Make it happen bro', get that mullet back, book a week at the Rock, and play Bullet the Blue Sky twice each night okay?

2) Michael Jackson and the Color Black. R&B sucks today, The King of Pop sucks today. His suck factor wasn't even on the radar before he bleached his skin, so how about we reverse the cycle, get his old nose back (prosthetic) and an afro-puff wig, and let's kick out the jams, and when I say jams I mean Off the Wall and Thriller. Seriously, MJ reuniting with his old former black self, dancing around a bunch a marbles, I'm completely there. But Bad, Dangerous and whatever else came after need to stay on the shelf (or in the closet... nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean, know what I mean?) I'm not paying to hear that song where in the video you tried to play basketball with Michael Jordan...leave it at home or wherever it is you're squatting these days. How could you not be jazzed by this prospect, we get to hear what good R&B sounds like and MJ recaptures a bit of respect, till he goes and touches another something that is A) a boy and B) underage.

2) New Kids on the Block and Screaming Tween Girls -This one is strictly for the ladies (well namely my younger sister and M). First the facts, whether we like it or not boy bands seem to pop up out of the ground every few years. We've had a lull and it's due to hit us again, so let's just get it out of the way. What better way to kick off a truly dark period in music then these little powder puffs mounting a reunion world tour. They can even bring that album where they tried to be a little bit gangster, I don't care, but M and my sister will be super stoked. The rest of you ladies, don't act like you wouldn't be a little excited to relive the tween years than going to see these dreamy lads sing Hangin' Tough. That's what I thought. I now distinctly hear the sound of money being put aside for the tour. Tiffany can even open the show...dy-no-mite.

3) Clint Eastwood and the Orangutan-- Some may argue that if Clint was going to reunite with anything from his glory past, it should be with the man with no name spaghetti westerns, but I say F-that, he needs to get back together with Clyde (If you're a little fuzzy with where I'm going with this, reference Any Which Way You Can, and EveryWhich Way But Loose). Clint is Mr. "Serious Auteur" now, but a little humility might do him some good..."Right Turn Clyde" is just the ticket. Are you still balking at this idea Clint? Would you rather we redo The Rookie, or Pink Cadillac, or perhaps Blood Work, or City Heat with Burt Reynolds?(that might not be such a bad idea...note to self, save for later). That's what I thought. How about this, you and Clyde take a trip to Las Vegas for the World Underground Bare Knuckle Brawling Championship. Clyde of course gets into shenanigans, you try to scheme the hotel, and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson plays your opponent . It worked for Stalloneon Rocky Balboa, so it can work here, I'll even let you bring along Sandra Locke. Count me in.

4) Corey Haim and Corey Feldman-Yeah, yeah, I know, they have that reality show on A&E, now, but let that be the impetus to...are you ready... License to Drive 2. What better way to cap off a successful reunion than by revisiting one of your greatest achievements (yes I know, it's a stretch, but have you seen what these two have done, indulge me). They could totally play Driver's Ed instructors who get into hilarious situations with bad students. They of course would have kids now who are about ready to start driving resulting in gut busting tears of laughter...oh I'm laughing already. Heather Graham isn't doing much so I'm sure she'd be down with a paycheck and reprise her role as Mercedes. I'm in line already...for another movie, but like I said, someone out there is completely jazzed now. You're welcome.

5) Janeane Garofalo and Ben Stiller-This one should really be a no-brainer for both parties. It's getting so bad that Ben is doing a remake of The Heartbreak Kid (this after mugging it up in that unfortunate Night at the Museum) and poor Janeane, well yeah she did a voice in that Disney movie, but that's like bragging you beat the blind kid in a pole vault competition. Get back together and give us the funny. Whatever rift there is between you two, suck it up and be adults. Every time Ben is in a movie with his wife and that part could have easily been played by Janeane, a child in Africa is crying. Not from hunger, but because they can't believe you two are this stupid. Get it done.

6) Will Ferrell and Pearl- The bed is still warm on this one but I feel the need to get my comment out there. Now, I'm in total agreement with the decision to quit while you're on top, but seriously you guys, give us one more skit. Things come in trilogy's (yes, it's true that trilogy's intertwine with one another but let's not get all nit picky here) so one more will most appreciated...let me rephrase, it's absolutely needed...please (reference The Landlord and Good Cop/Baby Cop on Funnyordie.com). This is one reunion I will be most grateful for.

7) MC Hammer and Deion Sanders-All I have to say is go to YouTube and watch the video for Pumps and a Bump....Deion putting the party together, Hammer busting his sick dance moves...enough said. Bring the party back boys, bring it back. In fact, let's take this to the next level; put out a CD together. Seriously, Deion is a rapper (see seminal album Prime Time, a little gift to the world by Deion). If that happens, there just might be peace and tranquility in the world.

Your Friend,

Paul Hughes