All right, Denver. Last year when you put your billboards in the Phoenix/Scottsdale area extolling the virtues of the Mile High City, I felt sorry for you and even did a column in the YourHub.com section of the Rocky Mountain News trying to help your little town. After all, if you had to do billboards in Phoenix to scare up some tourists, I figured we would be neighborly and try to help you out.

Apparently this year you are trying to take advantage of our good nature. As I opened my Arizona Republic the last few mornings, the first thing I saw on the front page was a color ad telling me to be a "Denver Local." You have to be kidding, please take a look at the record:

Both places have mountains. We have the Superstitions and the McDowells. You have the Rockies. That's two ranges to one in our favor. All right, the Rockies are a little taller but height isn't everything. We have the Lost Dutchman gold mine in the Superstitions. We can't help it no one has found it yet.

How about weekend getaways by car? We are 350 miles from San Diego and 298 from Las Vegas. I thought I would remind you of that since you are 1,061 and 728 miles respectively from those places and you don't get out much with the Denver weather being what it is.

Speaking of weather, how was the snow this year? I see you had 72 inches of the white stuff through March with more expected. Our snowfall in Phoenix/Scottsdale is very consistent. It is always zero. That's because our average temperature in December, January, and February is 67 degrees. Denver typically has temperatures in the -10 to -20 range during those three months. Is it possible to even go outside when it is that cold? And, you know that 300 days of sunshine you like to brag about? The Valley of the Sun has 325. Once again, sorry!

In the summer, Phoenix's average temperature is 103 compared to Denver's 85, but, who is going to quibble over a measly18 degree difference? We have a different type of heat in Arizona and if we faint from it, we simply say, "But, it's a dry heat." However, the golf green fees are a lot cheaper than Denver's, if you survive. Just drink plenty of water and have an air conditioned cart..

Denver states that you can "stroll through our historic neighborhoods." The city has "lower downtown." It is an old red brick warehouse district that has been converted to various pubs and night spots. Nearby are the Santa Fe art galleries. Phoenix/Scottsdale has thirty-six restored neighborhoods and we will put our nightlife, restaurant, and museum scene up against anyone.

Last but not least, the true evaluator of a city's worth: the sport teams. Baseball: World Series wins: Diamondbacks 1, Rockies 0. Basketball: 2007 season: Suns, 61-21, Nuggets: 45-37. NFL Football: Broncos.....Uh, there isn't enough space left to discuss football (ahem, sorry).

I hope I have taught you guys to not mess with us. Enough is enough. Oh, by the way, what are the round trip fares to Denver in August?

Jim McAllister writes blogs and columns for the Scottsdale Republic at blogs.azcentral.com. Click "Plugged-In-Scottsdale."