It's that time of year again: wedding bells in the air. If you're single, you may be wishing it was you walking down the aisle. And you're probably sick of being asked, "So have you found the lucky man yet?" Worse, attending one more friend's nuptials may make you nauseous.

If this sounds familiar, you may be wondering, "Why isn't it me looking stunning in that wedding gown this June?" Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the reason is most likely YOU! You see, many women's trip to the alter gets delayed by poor decision making. By choosing to spend many years pursuing relationships with the wrong men, lots of women waste precious time that they could have used to find Mr. Right. And lo and behold there go your twenties, your thirties...

So what's a perpetual bridesmaid to do? Take stock of your relationship history and get a very clear picture of your dating patterns. By recognizing the type of guy you typically fall for but with whom it never works out, you can create a new dating plan to steer you away from making the same old mistakes.

What should you look for? Review all of your significant dating partners and make a list of three things. First take note of their personality characteristics and behaviors. This includes traditional qualities, such as responsible, honest, or lazy, as well as typical behaviors such as "always late," "was an evil flirt," or "often brought me flowers." Then recall the emotions you frequently experienced during the relationship. Were you often confused, hurt, and angry or did you often feel cherished, respected, and appreciated? Make a list of all of the positive and negative emotions that you commonly felt. Lastly, examine the roles you and your partner often adopted. Do you tend to take on the caretaker, overachiever, or parent roles? Maybe one of you tended to be more dominant and the other more submissive.

Once you have your lists, carefully review them, looking for patterns across partners. Most people will find one or two types of partners that they are often attracted to. Or maybe your type has changed over the years. For example, many people flip flop between emotionally unavailable partners and loving ones who just aren't their equal in some way. Or maybe you were attracted to the bad boy type in your twenties and now you select successful businessmen. Trouble is- both types were emotionally standoffish.

Now that you have a clearer idea of your type or pattern, you can be on the lookout for these problematic traits, emotions, and roles as you are dating. When they pop up- don't ignore them! Collect more data about that potential partner before falling madly in love. And better yet- try dating different types of partners that you typically aren't attracted to and see what you learn about yourself. By recognizing the habits that haven't worked in the past, you'll be able to identify problem partners sooner, which means you can keep looking until you find the right mate! The less time you spend in the wrong relationships, the sooner you'll be saying "I do."

Ready to get serious about finding the One? Learn more about how to break free from the patterns of the past and find real love. Join us for the workshop: Soulmate or Stalemate?: 6 Steps to Finding Your Perfect Partner. Colorado Free University, June 11, 6:30 pm. To learn more or register: http://freeu.com/classes/4913.html.
Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D., is a dating and relationship coach.
Her passion is helping you create the love you deserve. www.couplingconnection.com.