Everybody wants to have an orgasm while having sex. But what really is an orgasm anyway? Well, according to Webster's dictionary, it's either of these following definitions:

1.The highest point of sexual excitement, characterized by strong feelings of pleasure and marked normally by ejaculation of semen by the male and by vaginal contractions in the female. Also called climax.

2.A similar point of intensity of emotional excitement.

Let's Figure it Out..

So what exactly does one get from these definitions? Does it mean that an orgasm is a purely physical response? That it's an emotional high? Or that it's a climax, which intertwines both of these things? Millions of doctors, researchers, and lay-people have tried to come up with an answer to this question, but no single answer has been universally agreed upon.

The idea that sex is 99% mental has grown to be more accepted in the past few years. Sexually frustrated women are mainly to thank for this. As we all know, a woman's orgasm isn't as quantifiable as a man's is. Some women have reported that they don't even know when they have one, if they've ever had one. But the question seems to boil down to this: how does one measure a "sure-fire" orgasm? This problem has caused sex researchers to look to the mind for answers.

Persons with disabilities can attest to the idea that sex is a purely mental experience according to Disaboom.com, the largest online community for people with disabilities. Spinal cord injured individuals and others with limited sensation have been forced to look to their brains for sexual pleasure since their genitals no longer provide enough satisfaction.

Having limited sensation can be frustrating when it comes to enjoying sex. But if one opens up the mind to the whole idea of orgasms caused mainly by the mind, then perhaps they'll soon enjoy sex a whole lot more.

Ideas on Getting There

So how does one's journey begin towards a mental orgasm? For starters, sincere and profound love for your partner is said to be the most important factor. Without this, hope of "true" sexual bliss can be difficult to attain. There is a plethora of ideas and advice that can be given to help achieve mental orgasms. Here are some of the most popular:

• Sensual embraces coupled with loving kisses to accentuate how you feel towards one another.
• Music. Jazz and slow R&B are very popular genres, which have helped millions get in the groove.
• Eye contact. Your eyes are thought to be the mirrors of your soul. Looking into your lover's eyes can help you feel more intimate.
• Strategic lighting can be used to double the desire. Lighting such as lava lamps, colorful candles, and Tiffany lamps are popular choices.
• Silk or satin sheets and pillows can be used to give the bed a more romantic feel.
• And being in love, according to many, is the best way to have a mental orgasm.

So much attention has been given to the physical aspects of sex; the G-Spot, oral sex, the list goes on and on. But what has ever happened to sex being good just because you're in love with one another? Our society seems to have a one-sided view towards sex. Instead of revering sex as an act of love, people only focus on the physical aspects of it. This has been blamed for why society thinks that a physical orgasm is essential to having great sex. One man however, thinks differently.

Tony Alford, a 30 year old quadriplegic from Minneapolis, Minnesota can attest to the reality of mental orgasms. He has no sensation in his genital area so he therefore receives all of his sexual pleasure from his other senses.

"Watching my lover as we make love helps me climax," says Alford. For Alford, visual stimulation heightens his sexual pleasure. Vision is a huge factor in achieving mental orgasms. Smell as well can create abundant satisfaction. The scent of pumpkin, interestingly enough, is the #1 scent used to enhance the male sex drives.

Mental orgasms may be scoffed at by some, and made fun of by others, but mental orgasms are pleasurable climaxes experienced by many. So, if you're a person who's lost hope of ever being able to orgasm due to a disability, think again. With enough determination, disability or not, the mind can do amazing things.

For more dating and relationship articles and advice log onto the newly expanded Disaboom.com section on Dating & Relationships, which can be found at http://www.disaboom.com, click on "living", and select "all channels".