To this day, I still couldn't understand why anyone would want to be me. Better than me? Smarter than me? Look better than me, I can understand. But, to be me? That just seems crazy! A talking head who says whatever flashes in the mind. Epiphanies, they call them. Lately, is just seems they're glimpses of the other side. I never understand what a flash of brilliance meant-you're brilliant for an instant then your back to your old dumb self? People stare. They look, point, laugh. What are they looking at? I'm always curious, in a wonderment sort of way. It's always disappointing when they end embarrassed and pass their insecurity. I've wanted to be accepted for a long time. The child in me that I can't let go. A million hypotheses over the years have formed as to why I can't let go. I asked my therapist this summer, how do I know when I'm cured? She asked right back, what do you want? To be happy. A loaded statement, genuinely puzzling. 20/20 says the Danes are the happiest-then qualified their happiness by remarking, oh, but their a population that has little diversity. Finding the exception-we're obsessed. The people I admire are the ones who can relate to everyone. They KNOW they're unique. Unscathed by the power of other people's perceptions. Not problems, perceptions. A problem suggests solution. Not my problem. Is this the way Faulkner wrote? Stein? Geniuses that only a few could understand-we've equated genius with unique. I've never thought of that before, so that idiot must be a genius. I've always liked meat. Protein added development to the brain. Our ancestors 3.9 million years ago, "Homo Sapien" thinking man, started eating protein rich foods, bone marrow, and in turn expanded their brain power. Weird. I always thought I craved meat because I was muscular. Sure that makes sense, My Mind Craves Meat. Doesn't the mind crave everything? Sometimes, I think I understand other people's perception-I'm a genius! Then I remember, oh yea, I'm human too. Emotions are finite, people are finite. What's infinite? They say space. Time. The number of degrees in a sphere. A line, a plane. But how can math be infinite if it explains what we want it to? If a mind is finite, how can we think infinitely? Chemical reactions. Know a little about lot, know a lot about nothing, know nothing is everything. Epiphanies. Jesus mongers call them revelations. I gotta be the best. At something. Once. Then people can say, they want to be me.