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Love on the Rockies: My challenge to Denver men

Contributed by: Allyson Reedy on 8/9/2006

It's not very often one gets the chance to change the world for the better, so I'm going to take mine - via my modest YourHub.com forum of course.

Even if just a few people actually read this, the movement could snowball if each person tells one friend/co-worker/ex/brother/cousin and then they tell one friend/co-worker/ex/brother/cousin, etc. Kind of likePay it Forward meets Swingers.

My world-optimizing challenge for the single men of Denver is this: Stop asking girls for their phone numbers if you have no intention of calling. There. It's that simple. I'm not asking you to buy a hybrid or give up football, just stop using our digits as an ego boost or closer.

I don't care what Maxim told you, asking for a girl's phone number is not a polite way of ending a conversation. Try "Nice talking to you" or "See you around." If you're that desperate to stop talking to a girl, do you really think she wants you to feign interest? No! So don't do it.

Honestly, when did asking for more personal information become such a habitual blow-off tool? Only the mind of a man could come up with such an illogical scheme.
I know the breaking of this habit will be hard, so let's go through a practice round. You're at the bar, talking to a girl when you realize you'd rather be chatting up the red head over by the fooseball table.

Panic strikes.

How do you get from Girl A to Girl B? Quick - ask her for her number! That'll end the coversation without making you feel awkward or her dejected! Wrong!

It's simply a convenient out for you. Next time be a man and wrap up the encounter without leading her on.

This next piece of information may be damaging to your ego, so you'll want to sit down. Most women do not sit around waiting for you to call.

Just like we don't actually have pillow fights in our underwear - oops! I just ruined another illusion - the belief that women sit around pining for a guy to call is simply untrue. She might not have been interested in you either. Or she may have learned through experience that most guys who get her number have no intention of calling, and she chalked it up to a routine Saturday night.

My friend, Jenny, stopped giving men the dialing power and reversed the situation. She refuses to give a guy she meets her phone number, but if she's interested she will ask for his. And she doesn't do it to get an ego boost or blow anyone off either. Men and women could learn from her.

To end the "Why didn't he call?" questions and just to ease our minds, please don't ask us for our phone numbers for the sake of your convenience.

This is your chance to make the world a better place - without donating to Sally Struthers.


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Showing 1-10 of 12 comments
Submitted By: Historical Insights
posted on 10/6/2006 @ 12:45:54 PM
Rated Story
I used to think the best plan was just to make it mutual, but then I met a girl who changed my mind. We were at a dance club and hit it off pretty quickly. She ended up giving me a ride home, and we talked a bit in the car before saying goodnight (she had a female friend she needed to drive home). I asked her for her number and she give it to me. I said, "Wait, let me give you my number as well." She said, "Don't bother. I won't call." Her point was simple: it was my job to make the next move. It's a lesson I've never forgotten!
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Submitted By: Joe Smith
posted on 9/1/2006 @ 11:00:08 AM
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OK, Allyson. WHO are you giving your phone number to? Here. You have my email address. Email me a bit. Get a feel for whether you'd even want to give me your number. And then...please, feel free. I can already tell I'd call. I think we'd have a lot to say, and would probably enjoy at least a single very nice evening - dinner, wine, maybe a movie or a walk... Who knows? But, I have to say, it's hard for me to believe that truly good and even attractive guys would ignore YOUR phone number.
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Submitted By: Carrie Carrie
posted on 8/16/2006 @ 3:24:41 PM
(Not Rated)
I completely agree with the article. I am no longer singe. But when I was on the dating scene one of the most annoying aspects of dating was hitting it off with a guy, him asking for my phone # and never calling. Why did he even bother in the first place.
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Submitted By: Mike Ballou
posted on 8/13/2006 @ 1:03:07 AM
(Not Rated)
Then from the woman's side of the conversation, instead of 1) making up a number, 2) giving the guy your auto mecahnic's number, or 3) any other lame scenario similar to 1) or 2), be an adult and say something HONEST, like "I'd rather not give that information out". How difficult is that ?
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Submitted By: Warren Gregory
posted on 8/12/2006 @ 8:00:39 PM
Rated Story
I don't know any guys that do this very often? None of my friends ask for a women's number, unless we want some, and not calling her isn't going to get you anything! What world do you live on? You should come live in Oklahoma with us real men and get away from those Colorado boys!
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Submitted By: Jim McAllister
posted on 8/12/2006 @ 1:00:11 PM
Rated Story
Hi, Allyson. Wonderful story and expertly told. In the days when I was "trolling" for girls (Is that archaic term still used?) if one asked a girl for her number, it was considered cool for the girl to tear a deposit slip out of her checkbook which had her name, address, phone, bank account number, etc. all clearly printed. (Ah, those salad days of no identity theft worries!) When I asked a girl for that information, I really wanted it, there was no brush-off intended or I wouldn't have asked for it in the first place. Plus, the quandary over having two girls to shoot at in one night rarely presented itself. I was happy to meet one and possibly be the guy on the white horse that most girls were seeking. We must not fool ourselves: everyone in those bars was sizing everyone else up before making their pitch.
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Submitted By: Travis Henry
posted on 8/11/2006 @ 4:02:33 PM
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Thanks for the insight Allyson. I hope the people leaving not-so-complimentary comments try writing a column or story for themselves on YourHub.com.
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Submitted By: Michael Shepherd
posted on 8/11/2006 @ 1:40:25 PM
(Not Rated)
I'm so very bored with single people complaining about other single people. Quit complaining about things which you can obviously handle (don't sit around waiting for my call? Then why complain about it?) and maybe a guy will call you back.
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Submitted By: Lara Morris
posted on 8/11/2006 @ 12:52:00 PM
Rated Story
Allyson- While this topic is valid, it is hardly original. I would like to read something I have not heard a thousand times before. When reading your column I feel like I am watching a rerun of Sex and the City, and truth be told, the show is more entertaining.
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Submitted By: Jessica Lara
posted on 8/10/2006 @ 7:15:56 PM
Rated Story
Ok but trade in your car for the hybrid car too (just not the ones that use the same amount of gas and use the hybrid component as a power "boost" :)
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Showing 1-10 of 12 comments
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CONTRIBUTOR INFORMATION

Allyson Reedy

Littleton , CO

Allyson Reedy has posted 46 stories and 23 comments since joining on 6/13/2006. Allyson Reedy 's average story rating is 4.88.
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